his mind on the first pass. He started to go over it a third time – felt a twitch within the black silk, and slammed the covers closed. He wrapped the book and closed it in its box, then knelt on the floor, reached up under the frame of his chair, and slid it onto its hidden shelf.
He unwrapped the talisman quickly and rested it against the thundering beat of his heart. It pulsed, warmed, and then settled. With a sigh, he dropped back into the leather seat, downed the whiskey, and slumped against the wall. He was tired, but the day was upon him. It was going to be a long one.
Chapter Eighteen
Creed's rooms were dank and drafty. The tattered rags he had nailed up to serve as makeshift curtains dangled crookedly across the windows. Rain pelted the cracked panes of glass in uneven, fitful rhythms. It sounded like handfuls of grave dirt being thrown at the windows. The room was sparsely furnished with a cot that held his bedroll, a table with one leg propped by a block of wood, and two straight backed chairs. Creed had his oil lamp on the table, which he'd pulled up close to the fire. Beside the lamp’s brass base he'd placed the black feather, and emptied out the contents of the woman's pack.
There was also a dingy bottle half full of rot-gut bourbon. A tumbler with three fingers of the amber poison sat next to the bottle, but Creed ignored it, for the moment. There wasn't much in the old pack. The leather was worn, and the straps wouldn't have lasted very many more journeys without snapping. Wherever she'd carried it from, the road had not been an easy one. There were six treasures inside; a journal, bound with a red ribbon; a small bottle of ink and a quill pen; a purse with a few coins in it; a compact that opened on a tiny mirror; and a soft, silk dress rolled up carefully so that it would fit in the small bag.
Creed reached for the bourbon, took a sip, and tried not to think about the empty tents with their torn canvas, the winged – thing – he'd seen in the trees – or the image of The Deacon rising over the woman's thin, wasted body with that mewling, crying creature clutched tightly in his hands. Not thinking about it was impossible, though.
He took a longer drink, set the glass on the table and reached for the journal. The knot in the ribbon was not too tight. He tugged it free gently, not sure why he was being so careful with a dead woman's belongings.
'What’s your story then?' He said, almost reverentially.
Provender Creed was one of the few men in Rookwood who could read. He'd been raised on The Bible, and before coming west, he'd worked a spell at a newspaper back east. There were a few books in town, and he'd borrowed and read each one in its turn. Then he'd read them all again.
Holding a new, unknown book would have been magic enough in its own right. Holding the last record of this mystery woman transformed the dreary hotel room to another place altogether. He was afraid to turn the first page. If there was nothing inside, or only a few hastily scribbled notes – the moment would be ruined. As long as he held the unopened book in his hand, it was a tiny universe of potential. The fire popped. Creed shook his head, as if rattling the cobwebs loose, and opened the journal.
He thumbed through the first few pages. Each was crammed full from margin to margin with spidery, elegant script. The letters were small enough that more than once he had to squint to make them out, but the lines were even – almost eerily precise. Creed flipped to the last page. The final entry was dated six months in the past. Whatever the purpose of this journal had been, either she'd given it up when the pages ran out, or she'd carried it for some other reason. Creed turned back a couple of pages and began to read.
'17 May
I have never felt so ill. My hand shakes as I write this, but I feel that if I fail to record my hours and days, I may blow away, forgotten by this world and the next. Benjamin is with me every moment possible, but when he is here I see my own face through his eyes, and it frightens me.
Father will not come near. He says that he fears I have been inhabited by an evil spirit, but I know the truth, and I do not blame him. He fears the consumption. He believes that I will pass my sickness to him, and that he – too – will wither and die. I do not want others to suffer, but I am glad for Benjamin's company.
He listens to my dreams, and holds my hand. He does not shy away from me, though I am certain I must have the pallor of death himself to my cheeks. He is warm where I grow so cold. He has promised to stay with me forever, and though I know it is a promise no man can keep, it is also a promise that only true love would attempt. Forever is not so long now, I fear.
Sometimes I wish that God would take me and bring and end to his suffering, as well as my own. I believe he has a destiny, and I do not want to anchor him against it.
28 May
I am much weaker. Benjamin still comes to me and comforts me, but he has grown distracted. There is a shadow on his face, and across his heart, and I fear that it is more than my illness that troubles him. He won't worry me, and so he tells me nothing except how beautiful I am, which is a lie and not even a sweet one now. I feel so tired deep down in my bones and he still talks of how we will soon be together in the big white house by the church. I do not know how he can lie to himself so convincingly, but I love him for it.
Our wedding was to take place in less than a week's time, and though my father would be angered to hear it, I have spent several days and nights in that house already. Benjamin often speaks of children. I burn to tell him what I know but fear that he would do something rash. Each time I draw a breath I'm afraid that it will be my last, and it is difficult now to keep my eyes from closing. I believe that soon I will sleep and never wake.
I will take my secret to the grave.'
Here, the journal fell silent for nearly a week. A single entry was centered near the middle of the next page, written in a different hand.
'These are the words of one loved beyond life. May she rest in peace – Benjamin Jamieson.'
Creed stared at the book. Something about that last inscription slid through him like the steel of a cold blade. He reached for his drink. His hand brushed the silk dress and it unrolled slightly. As it did, he saw a silver chain poking out from one of the folds. Drink forgotten, he laid the journal aside and reached for the dress, unrolling it so that it fell open across his lap.
There was a seventh treasure: in the center, nestled into the deep blue material, lay an ornate locket. He picked it up, turned it over in his fingers a couple of times, and then flicked the release with his thumb. It opened to reveal two tiny, exquisitely detailed portraits, one on either side. On the left was a young man, well dressed and very proper. Even on such a small scale it was obvious the artist had captured a glint of humor in the eyes. Across from this, on the right, Creed met the painted gaze of the woman from the camp. She was dressed in lacey finery. Her hair was intricately bound up with ringlets dangling over her ears and a single loose curl in the center of her brow. Creed was not certain how he knew this tiny face belonged to his mystery woman, but he had not a shred of doubt.
His fingers trembled. In the center of the locket there was a third oval, solid silver, that the two sides folded over, and inside that, judging by the portraits, a lock of the man’s hair. Inscribed on the surface was 'B.J. & E.T Forever'
He thought back to the Journal. If this had belonged to Elizabeth, then that put a name to his mystery woman beyond doubt. But where was this Benjamin of hers? There had been no sign of him at the trappers’ camp. And that begged the question: why did the entries in the journal end six months in the past? And why was the final entry an epitaph?
