Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

The look of horrified realization spread from Draco to the Chaos Legionnaires.

'No,' Harry said, 'we didn't.'

Camouflaged forms were appearing from among the trees.

'Allies?' Harry said.

'Allies,' Draco said.

'Good,' said General Granger's voice, and a spiral of green energy blazed out of the woods and shattered Draco's shield to splinters.

General Granger surveyed the battlefield with a definite feeling of satisfaction. She was down to nine Sunshine Soldiers, but that was probably enough to handle the last survivor of the enemy forces, especially when Parvati and Anthony and Ernie were already holding their wands on General Potter, whom she'd ordered taken alive (well, conscious).

It was Bad, she knew, but she'd really really really wanted to gloat.

'There's a trick, isn't there?' said Harry, the strain showing in his voice. 'There has to be some trick. You can't just turn into a perfect general. Not on top of everything else. You're not that Slytherin! You don't write creepy poetry! No one's that good at everything!'

General Granger glanced around at her Sunshine Soldiers, and then looked back at Harry. Everyone was probably watching this on the screens outside.

And General Granger said, 'I can do anything if I study hard enough.'

'Oh now that's just bu-'

'Somnium.'

Harry slumped to the ground in mid-sentence.

'SUNSHINE WINS,' intoned the huge voice of Professor Quirrell, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere.

'Niceness has triumphed!' cried General Granger.

'Hooray!' shouted the Sunshine Soldiers. Even the Gryffindor boys said it, and they said it with pride.

'And what's the moral of today's battle?' said General Granger.

'We can do anything if we study hard enough!'

And the survivors of the Sunshine Regiment marched off toward the victory field, singing their marching song as they went:

Don't be frightened, don't be sad,

We'll only hurt you if you're bad,

And send you to a home that's true,

With new friends to watch over you,

Be sure to tell them you were sent

By Granger's Sunshine Regiment!

Chapter 31: Working in Groups, Pt 2

Aftermaths:

Harry paced backward and forward in his general's office, which made a wonderful room for pacing, it didn't have any other uses as far as he could tell.

How?

How?

Hermione shouldn't have won that battle! Not on her first try, not when she wasn't at all violent by her nature, automatically being a great military commander on top of everything else was too much even for her.

Had she read about the tactic in a military history book? But it hadn't been just that one tactic, she'd had her forces perfectly positioned to block any retreat, her troops had been better coordinated than his or Draco's...

Had Professor Quirrell broken his promise not to help her? Had he given her the diary of General Tacticus or something?

Harry was missing something here, something really important, and his mind went around and around in circles, and he still couldn't figure it out.

Finally Harry sighed. He wasn't getting anywhere on this, and he had to go learn the Breaking Drill Hex from Hermione or someone before the next battle - Professor Quirrell had explained to Harry, his voice amused but with a sharp undertone of warning, that 'no magical items except the ones I give you' included Muggle technology no matter how much that wasn't magic. Plus Harry also needed to figure out how to bring down Mr. Goyle next time...

Battles counted for a lot of Quirrell points if you were a general, and Harry needed to get cracking if he wanted to win Professor Quirrell's Christmas wish.

In his private room at Slytherin, Draco Malfoy stared off into space, as though the wall in front of his desk was the most fascinating surface in the world.

How?

How?

In retrospect it had been an obvious sort of idea as cunning plots went, but Granger wasn't supposed to be cunning! She'd been too much of a Hufflepuff to use a Simple Strike Hex! Had Professor Quirrell been advising her despite his promise, or...

And then Draco finally did what he should have done much earlier.