Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

seen Tracey except at wandpoint during a battle, until the Slytherin had jumped up from her sofa to volunteer. 'We'll show him! We'll show them all!'

'Okay,' said Susan, 'that was definitely evil -'

'No,' said Lavender, 'that's a Chaos Legion motto, actually. Only she didn't do the insane laughter.'

'That's right,' Tracey said, her voice low and grim. 'This time I'm not laughing.' The girl went on stalking through the corridor, like she had dramatic music accompanying her that only she could hear.

(Hermione was starting to worry about what exactly the impressionable youths of the Chaos Legion were learning from Harry Potter.)

'But - I mean -' Parvati said. She still had a contemplative look on her face. 'I mean, you can see why the Headmaster would think we were just silly girls, right? What does protesting outside the Headmaster's office have to do with becoming heroines?'

'Huh,' Lavender said, now looking thoughtful herself. 'That's true. We should do something heroic. I mean heroinic.'

'Um -' said Hannah, which very much expressed Hermione's own feelings on the subject.

'Well,' said Parvati, 'has everyone already been through Dumbledore's third-floor forbidden corridor? I mean everyone in Gryffindor's been through it by now -'

'Hold on!' Hermione said desperately. 'I don't want you doing anything dangerous!'

There was a pause while everyone looked at Hermione, who was realizing, much too late, why Dumbledore hadn't wanted anyone else to be a hero.

'I don't think you can become a heroine if you never do anything dangerous,' Lavender observed reasonably.

'Besides,' said Padma, a considering look on her face. 'Everyone knows that nothing really bad ever happens in Hogwarts, right? To students, I mean, not to the Defense Professors. We've got all these ancient wards and so on.'

'Um -' Hannah said again.

'Yeah,' said Parvati, 'the worst that can happen is that we'll lose a few dozen House points or something, and there's two of us from each House so that'll all come out even.'

'Why, that's brilliant, Hermione!' said Daphne in a tone of great amazement. 'The way you set it up means we can get away with anything! And I didn't even notice your cunning plan until now!'

'UM -' said Hermione, Hannah, and Susan.

'Right!' said Parvati. 'So now it's time for us to become real heroines. We'll come for the darkness -'

'And make it face us -' said Lavender.

'And teach it to be afraid,' Tracey Davis said grimly.

Chapter 71: Self Actualization, Pt 6

'Well,' Daphne whispered, keeping her voice as low as she could, 'at least now I don't feel like the only sane person in Hogwarts any more.'

'Because now you've got the rest of us as friends?' whispered Lavender Brown, who was tiptoeing along at her left side.

'I don't think that's what she means,' General Granger murmured from Lavender's own left.

They crept slowly and carefully through the corridors of Hogwarts, all eight of them keeping both ears peeled for the slightest sound of Trouble, just like it was a battle and they were looking for enemy soldiers to ambush; only in this case they were looking for bullies to Vanquish and victims to Rescue in the span between the end of breakfast-time and when Lavender and Parvati had to get to their Herbology class.

Lavender had argued that if one first-year girl could take down three older bullies, then eight first-year girls ought to be able to outfight twenty-four older bullies because of Multiplication.

Judging by her frantic spluttering and waving of hands, General Granger hadn't found this convincing.

Padma had stayed silent for a bit during the ensuing argument, and then observed thoughtfully that even in Hogwarts, beating up first-year girls probably wouldn't be good for your reputation as a bully.

Parvati had straightened up at this, exclaiming that this meant they were the only ones who could do something about Hogwarts's bully problem, which made it really truly heroinic. Plus the whole reason their parents had moved to Britain was so that the two of them could attend the world's only magical school with a 0% fatality rate, and what was the point if they didn't take advantage and try a few things?

To which General Granger had responded that Parvati didn't understand the point of a perfect safety record at all -

Lavender had said that if they were really all friends together and not Hermione's followers like Professor Quirrell thought, then they should vote on things like this.

Daphne had expected that hers would be the deciding vote after Hermione and Susan and Hannah voted no. And so Daphne had considered it carefully after her first flush of enthusiasm wore off. She was a Slytherin, after all, and that meant it was her responsibility to keep a watchful eye on their own interests while they were all running around trying to help people - her job to figure out how risky it really was, and whether it would be worth it for them, just like Mother would have done in her place. Always looking out for yourself and your friends like that, was what real Slytherining was all about...