Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

Harry said. He put the syringe back in its place, redid the latches, and stood up.

Ernie Macmillan arrived just as Harry was feeding the pack back into his mokeskin pouch.

'Thank you, Harry Potter, on behalf of Hufflepuff,' Ernie Macmillan said formally. 'It was a good try and a good thought.'

'A good thought indeed,' drawled Draco. 'Why didn't anyone in Hufflepuff have their wands out? Maybe if you'd all helped instead of just Potter, you could've caught him. I thought Hufflepuffs were supposed to stick together?'

Ernie looked like he was torn between getting angry and wanting to die of shame. 'We didn't think of it in time -'

'Ah,' said Draco, 'didn't think of it, I guess that's why it's better to have one Ravenclaw as a friend than all of Hufflepuff.'

Oh, hell, how was Harry supposed to juggle this one... 'You're not helping,' Harry said in a mild tone. Hoping Draco would interpret that as you're interfering with my plans, please shut up.

'Hey, what's this?' said Mr. Goyle. He stooped to the grass and picked up something around the size of a large marble, a glass ball that seemed to be filled with a swirling white mist.

Ernie blinked. 'Neville's Remembrall!'

'What's a Remembrall?' asked Harry.

'It turns red if you've forgotten something,' Ernie said. 'It doesn't tell you what you forgot, though. Give it here, please, and I'll hand it back to Neville later.' Ernie held out his hand.

A sudden grin flashed across Mr. Goyle's face and he spun around and raced away.

Ernie stood still for a moment in surprise, and then shouted 'Hey!' and ran after Mr. Goyle.

And Mr. Goyle grabbed a broomstick, hopped on with one smooth motion and took to the air.

Harry's jaw dropped. Hadn't Madam Hooch said that would get him expelled?

'That idiot!' Draco hissed. He opened his mouth to shout -

'Hey!' shouted Ernie. 'That's Neville's! Give it back!'

The Slytherins started cheering and hooting.

Draco's mouth snapped shut. Harry caught the sudden look of indecision on his face.

'Draco,' Harry said in a low tone, 'if you don't order that idiot back on the ground, the teacher's going to get back and -'

'Come and get it, Hufflepuffle!' shouted Mr. Goyle, and a great cheer went up from the Slytherins.

'I can't!' whispered Draco. 'Everyone in Slytherin would think I'm weak!'

'And if Mr. Goyle gets expelled,' hissed Harry, 'your father is going to think you're a moron!'

Draco's face twisted in agony.

At that moment -

'Hey, Slytherslime,' shouted Ernie, 'didn't anyone ever tell you that Hufflepuffs stick together? Wands out, Hufflepuff!'

And there were suddenly a whole lot of wands pointed in Mr. Goyle's direction.

Three seconds later -

'Wands out, Slytherin!' said around five different Slytherins.

And there were a whole lot of wands pointed in Hufflepuff's direction.

Two seconds later -

'Wands out, Gryffindor!'

'Do something, Potter!' whispered Draco. 'I can't be the one to stop this it has to be you! I'll owe you a favour just think of something aren't you supposed to be brilliant?'

In around five and a half seconds, realised Harry, someone was going to cast the Sumerian Simple Strike Hex and by the time it was over and the teachers were done expelling people the only boys left in his year would be Ravenclaws.

'Wands out, Ravenclaw!' shouted Michael Corner who was apparently feeling left out of the disaster.

'GREGORY GOYLE!' screamed Harry. 'I challenge you to a contest for possession of Neville's Remembrall!'

There was a sudden pause.

'Oh, really?' said Draco in the loudest drawl Harry had ever heard. 'That sounds interesting. What sort of contest, Potter?'

Er...

'Contest' had been as far as Harry's inspiration had gotten. What sort of contest, he couldn't say 'chess' because Draco wouldn't be able to accept without it looking strange, he couldn't say 'arm-wrestling' because Mr.