Nervous

I stared up at the ceiling but I knew sleep wouldn’t come easily for me again. After five minutes or so, I decided to see if the Saturday morning news was still on. I reached for the remote on my nightstand and hit the power button. After I propped my back up on a bank of pillows, I yawned and eyed the screen. I sat there for two hours, staring at it, wondering when, why, and how I’d written the words “You’ll never win” on the television in red lipstick.

After I finally managed to move, I decided to just make the best of it. This wasn’t the first time I’d seen something written by my hands that I never wrote. “You’ll never win” made no sense to me. Who’ll never win what?

I was wiping the words off with paper towels and glass cleaner when a knock came at the door. That irritated me because no one ever came to my door unless they were selling something.

I was stunned when I glanced through the peephole and Mason was standing there.

As soon as I opened the door, he winked at me. “Is this the apartment of a female single? I hear there are a lot of them around here.”

I fought to suppress a laugh. “Um, yeah. I’m a female single.”

“Good. I thought I might have the wrong place for a second and I wouldn’t want to get attacked by a jealous husband or boyfriend.”

“Well, I don’t have one of those either.”

“My lucky day.”

“So how do you like your new place?”

“It’s okay.” He held out his hands and presented me with an apple pie on a glass plate. “Since I waited around for a week for the welcoming committee to grace me with a pie and no one showed up, I figured I might as well break tradition and welcome myself.”

Oh my goodness! Did he really expect me to bring him sweets?

“I apologize,” I said sincerely. “If I’d known that you really anticipated me getting you something, I would have.”

He chuckled. “I’m just kidding with you, Jonquinette. I’ll be honest. I wanted to see you again and I haven’t been able to catch you in the hallway so I decided to come up here groveling for attention instead.”

I took the pie from him. “Thanks for the pie. Did you bake this?”

“Are you kidding? I can’t even boil water.”

“Now that I can do.”

“You just can’t make toast?” he asked jokingly.

“Right. I can’t make toast.”

He cleared his throat and ducked his head into my apartment. “Nice place.”

“Thanks.” I knew what he was hinting at, but wasn’t sure I was ready to invite a man who wasn’t there to fix something inside of my apartment. He didn’t appear to have plans to leave until I did, so I said, “Would you like to come in?”

“Thanks. I thought you’d never ask.”

I moved out of the way so he could enter and headed toward the kitchen. “Feel free to have a seat. I’ll be right back.”

I set the pie plate down on the counter and had to lean against it to catch my breath. My knees were wobbling and my hands were suddenly sweating. I ran them under cold water and lathered them with soap, splashing some of the water on my face. At that moment, I wished I’d taken the time to get properly dressed instead of staring at my television screen for so long.

I felt someone behind me and jerked around. Mason was standing there.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you, Jonquinette.”

“No, you didn’t.” I turned off the water and reached into the cabinet for a couple of saucers. “I was just going to cut the pie. It looks delicious. Would you like a piece?”

“Absolutely. That pie cost me about ten bucks.”

We both laughed.

“I didn’t want to get you one of those cheap pies from the grocery store so I went to a bona fide bakery.”

The man was determined to make me blush. “I feel so special.”

He took his index finger and moved a tress of hair out of my face. “You are special. I can see that already.”

Things were going well up until that point. His hands on me. The way he was looking at me. I couldn’t take it.

I stepped away from him. “Mason, I just remembered that I have to meet someone in a few minutes.”

“Really? You just remembered that, huh?” he asked skeptically. He knew it was a fabrication.

“Yes, my friend. Um, Darnetta. She works with me and I promised her that I’d meet her today.”

I did make a promise to Darnetta. Just not for that day.

He looked highly disappointed. “In that case, I guess I better leave.”

“Would you like a piece of pie to take with you?”

“No thanks. I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.”

I felt bad as I saw Mason out. I really did think he was nice and he even made me laugh. That was rare. But I couldn’t be with him or any other man until I figured out what was going on with me. Hopefully, Dr. Spencer would get me the help that I needed. After all, she’d also made a promise.

11

jude

Meredith Williams Pierce aka Queen Bitch. There was no way I was going to allow Jon to go out to dinner with her. Not the way Jon had been acting lately. I couldn’t believe she’d actually flirted with that Mason character the day before. For the second time, no less. If she hadn’t kicked his ass out the apartment, I would have for damn sure.

I wasn’t used to having to take over so much. I was content to surface when Jon needed protection and from time to time to get my sexual needs taken care of, but surfacing had become a matter of survival. Jon actually thought she could get rid of me. Never!

“Do you like this restaurant, baby?” Queenie asked me, taking a sip of her Pink Pony. “Darryl and I used to come here a lot.”

“Who?” I knew who the hell she was talking about. I just felt like starting trouble.

“You remember Darryl.”

I took a sip of my lemonade. “Oh, him,” I said with contempt. “Wasn’t he the one you were doing after Frank and before Brent?”

“Doing?”

“You know what I mean, Momma. Wasn’t he the one you were fucking between the other two men you were fucking?”

She almost choked on her cocktail. “Jonquinette, I don’t know what’s gotten into you.”

I laughed. “The better question is what hasn’t gotten into you. Or who, to utilize a better term.”

“How dare you talk to me like that? I’m your mother.” She glanced down at the porterhouse steak on my plate. “When did you start eating red meat again? I thought you were on some health kick.”

I was truly enjoying this shit. Fucking with Meredith the Bitch’s head was right up there with riding some bomb-ass dick.

“Don’t you think you’re a little over the hill to be whoring?” I asked her.

She slammed her glass down on the table and all but broke it.

“I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, young lady, but you will not disrespect me in such a fashion. I