'Then don't talk,' he said. 'Just listen to me.'
She raised her head and looked at him again. He had that look on his face. Harry's determined look. The look he got when he had to steel himself up to do some horrible thing, like face a Hungarian Horntail, or defeat the Dark Lord, or tell her how he felt about her. He was biting on his lip. She watched him as if he was someone she had never seen before.
'I love you,' he said. 'And I don't just love you, I'm in love with you. And I have been for ages, I just didn't know it, not really.'
Hermione just stood there. She felt as if she'd left her body, and the real Hermione was floating somewhere above her head, watching everything with detached interest.
Harry was looking anxious. 'This is supposed to be the bit where you get really happy and kiss me,' he said.
'Ages?' Hermione heard herself say. 'What do you mean ages?'
Harry looked flustered. He obviously hadn't been prepared for questioning. 'I–I guess, I mean, I've known it for about two years. Before that it was probably true but I just didn't know it. I remember when I first realized. We were on holiday with your parents and you were wearing that yellow dress — it's not as pretty as the dress you have on now, but — ' He gave her a worried smile. 'You were so beautiful.'
Hermione remembered. She'd worn the yellow dress because it was the first time she would be seeing Harry after two months of vacation, and she'd hoped he would like it, but he hadn't said anything, anything at all.
'Last year,' she said slowly, 'I told you I loved you. And you said you didn't have any feelings for me besides friendship.'
'I didn't want to lose my friendship with you. I guess I was afraid.'
'Afraid?' she echoed. 'Do you know what that did to me, Harry? Do you know what you put me through? Hearing you say you didn't love me, that was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I can't believe you just — ' She was so angry now, her voice was cracking. 'You lied to me, Harry. And about something like that!'
Harry looked astonished. 'I never wanted to hurt you,' he protested. 'I just-I never thought it would work with us, okay? I thought we were too different. And I thought, if I tried to make it work with Cho-' 'That's the difference between you and me,' interrupted Hermione, 'I never would have tried to make it work with anybody else but you.'
'I'm trying with you now,' said Harry, making a visible effort to be calm.
'You never would have, though, if it hadn't been for Draco. If it hadn't been for him, it never would have occurred to you that you might lose me. You just thought I would sit there, waiting for you to someday show an interest in me, like — like left luggage!'
'Luggage?' Harry was white with shock.
She folded her arms and glared at him. She was filled with unreasonable anger, which she knew was unreasonable, but it didn't help. The look on his face made her even angrier. He had been so sure of her. So certain.
'You don't have to say all this,' he said finally. 'It'd be enough just to tell me you don't love me back.'
'But I do love you, Harry,' she said. 'I love you more than anything. I love you so it scares me.'
'Then why?'
But she shook her head. 'I don?t want to be scared any more,' she said, and started moving away from him, back towards the car.
'Hermione!' he called after her, sounding desperate.
She paused without turning around.
'He doesn't love you like I do,' he said to her back. 'He doesn't know you like I do.'
'No,' she said. 'And he can't hurt me like you can.'
She walked away.
'I'm never taking your advice again,' Harry said to Ron.
He had gone to sit in the car with the Weasleys. Hermione, who was still refusing to talk to him, was standing a distance away, staring off towards the Manor.
Ron's grin began to fade. 'What…?'
'She hates me,' said Harry, with finality.
Ron, Fred and George all looked utterly and completely astonished. They had obviously been even surer of Hermione's feelings than Harry had been. 'Hermione doesn't hate you,' said George, at last, in a shocked tone of voice.
'She does,' said Harry. 'Well, maybe only in that way where she despises me and wants me dead.'
'What did you do?' demanded Ron. 'You must have done something.'
'Thank you, Ron, for the vote of confidence,' said Harry in a dead tone of voice.
'I just meant — ' 'Have some pumpkin juice,' offered Fred, shoving a glass at him.
'I don?t want pumpkin juice,' said Harry. 'I want vodka. Do you have vodka?'
Ron shook his head regretfully. 'Just pumpkin juice, really.'
'And motor oil,' said George. 'You want some motor oil?'
