'You think you?re the only one?' he shouted right back. 'You think you?re the only one who suffers or feels guilty about Harry being gone? You think you own all that pain, and that gives you the right to try to fix this all by yourself? Everything we?ve ever faced, we?ve faced together! Are you going to change that now just because you and Harry are dating? I thought we could do better than that.'
He hurled himself around as if he were going to storm out of the room, and, suddenly afraid, she caught at his sleeve. 'Its not that,' she protested quickly. 'Its this.' She touched the Lycanthe around her neck, saw his eyes follow the gesture. 'This gives me powers, Ron, Magid-level powers. If it didn?t-'
'Oh, so now this is because I?m not a Magid,' he snapped. 'If I was Malfoy, you wouldn?t leave me behind.'
'Ron, you?re nothing like Draco.'
'And I bet you wish I was,' said, with corrosive bitterness, and a flash of the old hatred in his eyes. 'You think you know me so well.
Don?t you?'
'Its not a question of leaving you behind,' she began, and then her voice broke, and she trailed off, looking up at him. She wondered what Draco would do in Rons place; probably he would either say something that would make her laugh or he would somehow trick her into bringing him with her. But Ron wouldn?t do that. He didn?t trick people, and unlike Draco everything he was feeling always showed on his face. Even Harry could hide what he was thinking better than Ron could. But then again, both Harry and Draco had grown up hiding what they felt from adults who were at a minimum dangerous and unloving; Ron, on the other hand, had been brought up being nothing but loved and couldn?t have hid a feeling if he?d been paid to. She looked into his eyes now and saw the wreck of her plans, realizing in that moment just how selfish she had been.
'Of course I know you so well,' she said. 'You?re my best friend.'
There was a short silence. Ron stood with his hands in his pockets, looking at the floor. Finally, he looked up at her. 'Am I?'
'You know you are,' she said. 'And I?m yours — I thought — aren?t I?'
'You are,' he said. 'But so is Harry. You think I don?t feel guilty? I keep thinking I could have — should have — done something. I should have realized that Charlie wasn?t Charlie earlier. Don?t I know my own brother? But, apparently, I don?t. I was too wound up thinking about how much I hated Malfoy to pay any attention.'
'Why do you still hate Draco so much?'
'I don?t — so much — any more,' said Ron, a little hesitantly. He had the wary expression of someone about to yank off a bandage and anticipating the pain. 'But I guess because — I was jealous.'
'Because of Harry?'
Ron nodded.
Hermione leaned forward and took him by the shoulders — or tried to. He was too tall, so she ended up gripping his upper arms. 'Ron,' she said slowly. 'Nobody could ever, ever replace you. Not for me.
Not for Harry. You are the first friend Harry ever had. He wouldn?t even know what it was like to have a friend if it wasn?t for you. He wouldn?t be who he is — I wouldn?t either — without you.'
Ron looked down at her. 'But you didn?t want me to come with you,' he said. 'What does that prove?'
'Only that I didn?t want anything to happen to you,' she said truthfully, hoping he believed her. 'I just feel so helpless,' she added, her words coming out in an angry rush. 'I?ve got no control over anything — theres no one to go to, and worst of all I?ve got no idea whats really going on and I feel like we?re all hurtling towards some sort of horrible disaster without any way of stopping it. I feel like — like a pawn in some huge game I don?t even understand.' She raised her head and looked at him, and saw his expression with surprise. 'Why are you smiling?'
'I was thinking about chess,' said Ron. 'Did you know that if the pawn can get all the way across the board, it becomes the most powerful player in the game?'
Hermione sniffled. 'You know I?m terrible at chess.' She reached out, took his hand. 'I was wrong — I do want you to come with me -
not because I feel guilty,' she added quickly, seeing his eyes narrow, 'but because I could really use your help.'
His shoulders relaxed almost imperceptibly. 'All right.'
She held out her hand for the Time-Turner, and after a moment, he gave it to her. She looped the chain around her neck, then threw it over his head as well. She was sharply reminded of having done the same thing with Harry three years ago. She looked up at Ron, the chain of the Turner cutting into her neck. 'Ready?'
Nervously, he nodded.
Hermione took the Turner between her thumb and forefinger, and turned it over.
Absolutely nothing happened.
The first thing he noticed was how quiet it was. He had been so long in darkness and clamorous noise, his extra-sensitive wolf ears picking up every vibration and the endless tinny howling of the Call, that the silence came as a greater shock than an explosion would have been. The last human thing he remembered was having been in the dungeon, in the cell with Sirius, telling him he should get out, get out while there was time…
Lupins eyes flew open. He was lying on his back on a stone bench, staring up at a dank stone ceiling. The dungeon. Everything hurt, every part of his body, as if he had been pelted with stones. But he was whole. That he knew.
He turned his head to the side, slowly, trying to ignore the pain in his neck.
And saw Sirius. He was sitting on the ground next to the bench, his back against the stone wall, legs outstretched. He looked exhausted, even more than he did the night he?d flown his motorcycle across the Atlantic to get to Kings Cross by the time the Hogwarts Express left, but his eyes were alight. 'Moony?' he said.
Lupin rolled over onto his side, wincing at the pains that drove through his cramped muscles. 'Sirius,' he tried to say and he heard his own voice come out hoarse and nearly unrecognizable, as if it had been terribly strained. He cleared his throat. That hurt, too, but it didn?t matter. He sat up, and looked down at himself. He was
