'Hey, Ginny,' he said, straightening up as her gaze fell on him.
'Seamus…shouldn't you be in class?' Ron asked, looking surprised.
Seamus nodded, but when he spoke again it was to Ginny. 'Please,' he said. 'Can I talk to you for a second?' He looked from her to Ron. 'Alone,' he added.
Ron shrugged. 'Go ahead. I have to get to Potions anyway,' and he took off down the hall. With his long- legged stride he was soon out of view, and Ginny turned reluctantly back towards Seamus.
'All right,' she said. 'What's so important you cut class to ask me about it?'
He was leaning back against the wall now, looking at her steadily. His blue eyes were almost indigo in the low light. He said, 'It's about Malfoy.'
Hermione heard her own voice rising as if it had left her control. 'Harry Potter,' she said in a voice that seethed with rage, 'you self-centered, inconsiderate, obstinate, selfish — troll!'
Harry looked bored. 'Are you done yet?'
'No,' she snapped, anger making her irrational. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was aware that Ron and Ginny had departed, and was glad.
Now she could get as angry as she wanted to. 'Not nearly.'
Harry looked at her without moving. His green eyes had gone nearly black, but otherwise his face was expressionless. 'Fine,' he said. 'Owl me when you do finish this pointless diatribe, then.' And he turned around, and walked away.
Before she even realized what she was doing, Hermione had fumbled her wand out of her sleeve. 'Petrificus partialitus!' she cried, and Harry froze where he was, about three feet away from her, his feet seemingly nailed to the stone floor.
He twisted around and glared. 'Oh, very mature, Hermione.'
Hermione shoved her wand back into her sleeve and regarded him grimly.
'I'm immature? That's amusing, coming from you.'
'Don't talk about things you don't understand,' said Harry in a withering tone.
'Oh, I understand,' she said. 'I understand more than you might think.'
Harry crossed his arms over his chest. 'Enlighten me, then.' His tone was heavy with sarcasm.
Hermione pointed her finger at him and spoke in a voice that trembled with tension. 'I may not know what's bothering you,' she said. 'But I know that something is. And whatever it is, it's poisoning you from the inside out. You're turning into someone I don't know, Harry. Maybe even into someone I don't like.'
She raised her eyes to his face as she spoke, and was startled. He looked stricken. She had not expected that. She stood for a moment, taken aback.
She had never really realized how important her good opinion was to Harry, how much his self-image was shaped by what he saw reflected in her eyes. He ducked his head immediately, his jaw set, hiding the hurt in his eyes — but she had seen it. When she spoke again, it was with less rancor. 'I've always admired you, Harry. As much as I love you, I admire you, too. Not just because you're brave, but because you're kind, and because you hold yourself to such a high standard. Higher than anyone else would ever think of holding you to. And you've never had any self-pity, even when you were entitled to it. So when I see you using who you are to try make someone else feel guilty, or even worse, sorry for you, like you just did with Lupin — that's not you, Harry. That's not who you are.'
Harry did not move. He was looking down at the floor, his shoulders tense. The anger that Hermione had felt was dissipating fast. Exasperated as she was, it went against every fiber of everything she had been for the past six years to hurt Harry deliberately. She had spent far too much time putting herself between him and any harm to do that. She began to reach for her wand to De-Hex him, but before she could, he said, 'I shouldn't have said that to Lupin. But you don't understand.'
'So explain it to me.'
Harry closed his eyes. 'I've always known that one day Voldemort would strike at those closest to me. I've always tried to prepare myself. But you have to make a choice, if you're me. Either you choose never to love anyone and close yourself off to that particular threat…or you swear to protect the people that you do love, no matter what happens. I chose the second option…mostly because of you.' He opened his eyes and looked at her again, his gaze green and steady. 'You gave me a choice, to love you or lose you…and I couldn't stand to lose you.'
'And maybe you resent me for that?' said Hermione softly.
'I think I do,' said Harry slowly. His hands were knotted together, as if he were nervous. She wanted to go to him, but held herself back. This was the most he'd said to her, the most open he had been, in months. 'Maybe I blame you for teaching me how to be vulnerable. You did, you know.
Years ago. There's all sorts of ways Voldemort could get at me, besides you…Ron. Sirius. Draco. But if it hadn't been for you…'
'What makes you think what happened to Draco has anything to do with you in the first place?'
Harry blinked. 'Well, what else would it be?'
'I absolutely guarantee you that there are people out there who want to kill Draco for reasons that have nothing to do with you,' said Hermione in a heartfelt tone. 'Trust me.'
Harry seemed unwilling to accept this. 'But…'
'Self-centered, aren't you?' Hermione asked gently. 'Not everything is about you, Harry.'
Harry didn't smile. He was gazing down. 'Look,' he said, and held out his right arm, the sleeve pulled up. 'Look at all that blood. It's on my hands, that blood.'
Hermione looked more closely at Harry's arm, then wrinkled her nose.
'That's not blood,' she said, with authority. 'That's pumpkin juice.'
