It took me a second to work out what he'd said, and then another to work out why.
'Okay,' I said. 'But my shoulder's pretty torn up, so bear with me.' Both rifles were sighted on my chest as I struggled out of my shirt. I let it drop to the ground. 'All right? See, no bomb vest.'
'Now your pants.'
'Seriously?'
'Do it!'
So I unbuckled my belt and let my combats fall around my ankles. I considered making an inappropriate quip, something like 'if you want me to take my boxers off, you'll have to buy me lunch first,' but I thought better of it.
'On the ground, hands behind your head.'
I sank to my knees and lay down on the ground as he'd instructed. The gritty dirt burnt my skin, and a sharp stone jammed itself between my ribs, but I didn't wriggle. I heard them walking towards me slowly, their heavy boots grinding the dust beneath them.
'Lie completely still,' said the talkative one. 'If you move a muscle my friend here will shoot you dead.'
'Understood. Just be careful please, I disclocated my shoulder earlier and it hurts like fuck.'
I heard him fumbling with something, and then a thin strip of cold plastic was looped around my wrists and pulled tight. Then he grabbed my bound wrists and hauled me upright, grinding my damaged shoulder horribly. I yelled in pain and anger.
'Sorry,' he said sarcastically.
The talkative one pushed me ahead of him, back to the humvee, while his mate scanned the surrounding buildings for danger. I had so many questions I wanted to ask them, but I decided it would be best to keep quiet for now. These were frightened, frightening soldiers; anything could happen. Best wait 'til I was safe in their HQ talking to a senior officer. Shouldn't take long to sort everything out then.
And yet… I didn't tell them about Tariq and his friends, hiding in an alleyway behind us. I was probably concussed, certainly dehydrated, definitely scared, and it was only as they marched me back to the car with brisk military efficiency that it occurred to me, belatedly, that perhaps my judgement wasn't the finest right now. So I kept quiet about the Islamists who had nearly beheaded me, the ones who could even now be taking up positions in nearby buildings and sighting their rifles on us. I think that maybe, through all my confusion and adrenaline, I'd started to have an inkling that I'd jumped out of the frying pan into the fire.
They shoved me into the humvee roughly. My shin banged painfully against the metal lip of the door, making me curse. The quiet one stayed outside on guard, while the one who'd bound my wrists sat opposite me. He was a young man, about twenty; Hispanic, with a wispy, bumfluff moustache. But despite his youth he seemed confident, in control, self contained. His face was hard and cold, and gave nothing away. I suppose his accent could have told me which part of the States he was from, but apart from New York and the deep south I don't know my American accents well.
'Name, rank, serial number,' barked Bumfluff.
'I'm not a soldier.'
'You're British, right?'
'Yeah.'
'Name, rank and serial number. That's all you Brits ever tell us.'
'If we're soldiers. And it's the Second World War. And you're Nazis. But I'm not a soldier and you're not wearing jackboots.'
So the Yanks and the Brits weren't working together. Maybe they were even enemies. Suddenly all my preconceptions came tumbling down. I'd assumed that the army would have retained some order and discipline in the face of The Cull, but sitting here, facing an American soldier who thought I was an enemy, that idea seemed wilfully naive. They could have splintered into all sorts of warring factions. This led straight to the idea that maybe Tariq and his gang had not been all they seemed either, and I cursed my prejudices and my stupidity.
From the second I'd hit dirt I'd been reacting instinctively and without thought. I knew too well that that kind of thing gets you killed.
Engage your brain, Keegan.
'Tourist?' he asked.
'I flew here from England.'
'Economy?'
'You must have seen my plane coming down, light aircraft, two seater. I've been unconscious but I think it was yesterday.'
'Maybe.'
'I was shot down.'
'Not by us.'
So should I tell him about Dad? I couldn't see why not. I had to ask someone, after all.
'Listen, I'm just looking for my father. He's a sergeant in the British Army. He never came home after The Cull. I flew here to find him.'
'On your own?'
'Yes.'
'And you're, what, fifteen?'
'Sixteen. Yesterday.'
'Happy fucking birthday.'
'Thanks. Do I get a cake?'
'I don't have time for your bull, kid. It'll be better for you if you just tell us the truth.'
'My name is Lee Keegan, my father's name is John, he's a Sergeant in the British army and I just want to find out if he's okay. If you radio your base I'm sure they can just check their records and it'll all be sorted out in no time.'
His eyes went wide with surprise and recognition. Obviously he knew my dad, or knew of him. So I'd been captured by two groups since touching down and both knew my dad. What were the odds? What the hell was going on here? Bumfluff was thinking hard. It looked like it hurt.
'John Keegan? Your father's name is John Keegan?'
'Yes. Know him?'
'Oh yeah. I know him. Our General is going to be very happy to see you.'
Something in the way he said that convinced me that I wouldn't be so happy to be seen.
'Great,' I said, cheerily. 'But look, I'm not whoever you thought I was, right? I'm obviously not a threat, and I want to come with you. So can I please put my clothes on? I mean, I'm getting grit in places you don't want to grit to get, know what I'm saying? And I don't want to see my dad for the first time in two years just dressed in my boxers.'
He considered me carefully and I gave him my most innocent, pleading grin.
'Please?'
He nodded slowly. 'Reckon it can't hurt. Hey, Shane, go get the kid's clothes. We'll get him dressed then head back. We're going to get so much kudos for this.' His friend looked at him quizzically. 'This is Keegan's son.' Shane gave a small whistle.
'Fuck me,' he said, nodding in appreciation. 'Score!' Then he walked off to get my clothes, gun raised, scanning the buildings as he went.
'My dad popular then, huh?' I asked, playing dumb.
'Oh yeah, kid. Everyone wants a piece of your dad.' He chuckled. I chuckled with him. Good joke. He was now completely convinced that he had outsmarted me in some undefined way. If it came to a battle of wits, I didn't think this guy would be too much trouble. But the body armour, knife and guns did kind of give him the edge. I was going to need help whatever happened. Time to jump out of the fire and back into the frying pan; I just hoped Tariq and his crew were still watching, because despite what they'd put me through I felt they were more likely to be my allies than the musclebrain sitting before me.
Shane got back and threw my trousers and shirt on the ground outside the vehicle. Bumfluff indicated that I should step down, and I did so. I turned, holding out my bound hands for him to untie me.
'Don't try anything stupid,' he said.
