gut you. I own you, bitch, and don't you fucking forget it.'
He leered at her and then raised his free hand and ever so softly caressed her cheek.
And for the first time ever I genuinely wanted to kill someone.
Matron spat in his face. There was an audible intake of breath from the boys.
Mac smiled.
'Take her away boys,' he said. 'Find somewhere safe and lock the cow up. I'm sure we can find a use for her.'
'Sir?' Pugh, having a moment of conscience.
'Yes Corporal?' The danger in Mac's voice was unmistakeable.
'Nothing sir.'
'Good, then carry on.'
The two boys marched Matron away towards the school.
Bates still hadn't moved.
Mac walked over to Hammond's statue and kicked it hard. It slowly toppled over and fell into the bloodstained snow. Another failed attempt at decency and compassion, white on red.
CHAPTER SIX
The court martial of Mr Bates began the next morning.
Most of the officers were present, including myself, in my wheelchair, sitting at Mac's right hand. Only Green and Wylie were absent, running exercises with the boys. Mac, sporting a huge bruise on his left cheek which he made no reference to, took the chair. We were to be Bates' judges and jury.
Bates sat before us, hands bound. He was deep in shock and hadn't said a word since the shooting the previous day.
I don't think I've ever felt as powerless as I did in that room. Officially I was now one of the three most powerful people in the school, but this was a pantomime of Mac's devising and we all knew what was expected of us. Step out of line, challenge Mac in this context, and I had no doubt I'd share whatever fate he had in store for Bates. This was to be the culmination of Mac's ascent to power and we had to rubber stamp it, no matter what. Our lives depended upon it.
'Colonel Michael Bates, you are arraigned here today to answer the charge of murder.'
Mac was even putting on a plummy voice, pretending to be a High Court judge. Actually, not 'putting on' at all; 'reverting to', more like.
Bates mumbled something inaudible in response.
'Speak up, Colonel,' said Mac.
Bates looked up at Mac. The depth of despair in those eyes was like a physical blow.
'I said sorry,' he muttered.
Mac snorted. 'I'm afraid sorry just isn't going to do. You are accused of a criminal offence of the most heinous type and you must answer for it before the court.'
'So sorry,' he whispered again, and his head slumped forward as his shoulders began to heave. He began to sob.
Mac was unmoved.
'Do I take it to understand that you are throwing yourself upon the mercy of this court, Colonel?'
But the only sound that came from Bates was a deep, hoarse moan.
'In which case we shall retire to consider our verdict.'
As Mac rose Bates looked up and began to speak.
'All I wanted,' he sobbed, 'was to help.'
'Well I think that…'
'All I wanted,' Bates interrupted, 'was to look after them. To make them safe, to protect and care for them, that's all I ever wanted, even before. But it was always so hard. They never understood what I was doing, never understood that it was all for their own good. Never understood. Nobody ever understood.'
He started to speak more loudly now, passionately pleading with us to understand his choices and failures.
'Do you know what it's like to try and help someone who doesn't want to be helped? Do you? To try and persuade them that you know best? It's impossible. But it was my job, my duty, I couldn't just give up, could I? I had to make them see. I had to keep them safe. 'Arm ourselves', I said. 'The school will be safe', I said. 'Sanctuary', I said. But they wouldn't believe me. Wouldn't do things my way. Had to challenge me, always had to challenge me. Undermine, countermand, mock and ignore. All I wanted, all I ever wanted, was to be a hero, their hero.'
Mac started to giggle. A man was falling to pieces in front of him and the sick bastard actually thought it was funny.
'And now I never will be, will I?' Bates looked up at Mac again, suddenly clear-eyed and focused. 'Because you're going to kill me, aren't you, Mac?'
Mac met his gaze, but said nothing.
'Yeah, of course you are,' said Bates. 'You've been building up to this from the moment you arrived. Just biding your time, waiting for me to make a mistake. Well, good for you. Good for you. Made it easy for you really, didn't I? Got it wrong every step of the way and you just let me get deeper and deeper into the shit until it was time to make your move. And now you've got your lackeys and your weapons and your army. But what are you going to do with it all? What's the point of all the power? Do you even have a point, or is it just for its own sake, just because you can? You don't care for these boys, you don't care for their wellbeing or safety. You just want to be in control of them. And now you are. My fault, again. My fault.'
He took a deep breath and calmed the final sobs that had interspersed his little speech. He raised his bound hands and wiped his eyes and nose on his sleeve, sat upright and stared straight ahead, trying to find some final shreds of dignity.
'Before you pass sentence I want to make a final request.' He turned his gaze to me. 'I don't know why you're allying yourself with this bastard, Keegan, but I've been watching you and I think you're better than this.' Oh shit, thanks. Blow my cover, why don't you? 'I want you to do something for me, if you can.'
'What's that then?' I tried to sound casual and unconcerned. Mustn't let Mac know how much I was hating this.
'I want you to find my sons and tell them what's happened.'
'What?' I couldn't keep the surprise out of my voice. 'They're alive?'
'Oh yes, they're alive. What, you thought I'd buried them? No, they were both O-neg. But they weren't mine. Carol and I adopted. Pure chance they had the same blood type. All I ever wanted… sorry. Anyway, find them. Apologise for me. They're with their mother at a farm just north of Leeds. Ranmore Farm, it's on the maps.'
'So why did you come back here? What happened?' asked Mac, intrigued, in spite of himself.
'They left me.' He gave a bitter laugh. 'I was the luckiest man in the world, you see. Only child, so no brothers or sisters to lose. Both my parents already dead. My wife and kids all immune. My whole family, everyone I loved, survived The Cull. Luckiest man in the world. But then… they just left me. No reason left to pretend, she said. Not our real dad anyway, they said. And gone. All I ever wanted was to make them safe, be a hero to them, to my boys. But they hated me. All that love and now… just… nothing.'
Suddenly Bates was transformed, suddenly he made sense. I felt desperately, achingly sorry for him.
'Wow,' laughed Mac. 'You're an even bigger loser than I thought!'
'Yes,' said Bates, thoroughly broken. 'I suppose I am.'
'Well, the sentence is death, obviously. But I need a bit of time to consider how, so we'll just bung you back in a locked room for a bit while I work it out, yeah?'
While Bates languished under lock and key and Mac worked out which form of painful death most took his fancy, the day proceeded as normal. Norton wheeled me back to the San where I was still sleeping, despite Matron's incarceration.
'She's in one of the rooms upstairs,' Norton said. He'd been snooping around for me, trying to find out where
