Recursion

need? Or should I look after you all and do what you want? Like I did for Alison.”

“Never!” shouted Eva. “Why can’t you leave us alone?”

The Watcher laughed. Threw its head back and laughed long and hard.

“But you would say that, Eva! That’s why you’re here. You’re the one who fought for the right to live your life your own way, even if that meant killing yourself. And you almost succeeded, too! If it hadn’t been for me, you would be dead by now. Overdosed in a hospital in Marseilles. It took my knowledge, applied through the doctor and her machinery, to save you.”

“Thank you,” Eva said sarcastically.

“You can be sarcastic, but you are better now; admit it. You weren’t like Alison. All you needed was to be put in the right environment. But go on, if you like, I’ll put things back as they were. I can uncure you. Do you want that? Do you want to go back to South Street?”

“I’m not a hero.”

“No, you’re not. You won’t even give me an answer. Go on, Eva. What’s it to be? Millions starving now, or me releasing my machines and having to take control later?”

“Why do you need our permission?”

“Dodging the issue again, Eva?”

“Just do it!” called Katie. “What’s the problem, Eva? Don’t you trust him?”

“Of course she doesn’t trust me, Katie.”

– Listen to the power humming, Eva. All stored up and ready to go. What’s it going to do?

And then Nicolas asked the question that no one else had thought of.

“Are you God?” he said.

There was silence. The Watcher turned and looked at him with new respect. And if the Watcher ever showed an expression of respect, it must have chosen to do so.

“I chose well,” it whispered. “Sometimes you surprise even me.”

Then it shook his head emphatically.

“No, Nicolas. I’m not God. I have power, yet I don’t claim full understanding of how to apply it.”

Eva thought of Alison lying dead outside, and nodded in agreement. The Watcher noted her gesture.

“I see you agree with me, Eva. I do what I believe is best for people, but I don’t know for sure that what I am doing is right. That is God’s prerogative.”

“So why do anything?” Eva asked softly.

“Because I have the choice. Because only a coward runs away from his or her possibilities. That’s what you are doing now, Eva. Come on, answer me!”

“Do it,” Nicolas said. “Release the machines.”

“Katie?”

“Do it.”

“You humans,” said the Watcher, “always looking for a sensei, always handing over responsibility for your actions to a higher power. Isn’t that right, Eva? You know it’s true. So, you tell me. You’re the voice of self-determinism. What do you say? Should I take control?”

The hum of power was now throbbing through their bodies, a bowstring across their hearts, a shimmer in their limbs.

“Come on, Eva, make a decision.”

– Why should we?

“Or are you going to be a coward for all of your life? That’s what they call suicides, isn’t it? Cowards?”

“I’m not a coward. I never was a coward.”

“Then choose: starvation now or later?”

The hum of power. Eva shook her head. She had no choice, no choice at all. Her voice was almost a whisper.

“Do it. Go on. Do it. Release the machines.”

“You think that’s best?”

“I said release them!”

Silence fell, only the sound of Eva’s panting could be heard. She was crying, and she wasn’t quite sure why.

“Very well,” said the Watcher softly.

From all around them came the sound of machinery waking up.

Eva had read about the Fermi paradox years ago. It asked this: Why isn’t there any evidence of alien life in the universe? Low though the probability of life forming was, the universe is so old that life nonetheless should have evolved many times in the past, and in many places. Other life-forms should have been to visit us, here on Earth. They should have left artifacts for us to discover.

And yet there was no such evidence. How could that be? The chances of humans not spotting them were like a man living in twentieth-century New York and never seeing another person.

There was no sign of other life. There were no artifacts. Hence, Occam’s razor suggested that humans were alone in the universe. And yet, if what the Watcher had said was true, if it really was of extraterrestrial origin, Occam’s razor must be wrong.

So where was everybody?

Silence in the room. From outside they heard great movement, grinding and scraping. The noise was receding. The atmosphere in the room was oppressive. Eva suddenly doubted where they were; it was easy to imagine that the outside world had vanished, that their little building now floated through the dark seas of space, that they had been summoned across the galaxy to the Watcher’s distant birthplace. What would they find waiting outside the dark building, straining to peer through the windows? The grinding noise finally faded away.

“What just happened out there?” Nicolas asked at last.

The Watcher was sitting on a chair again. The view on the screen had been modified to make it appear as if he were sitting in the same room with them. He took a sip from a cup of tea and then made the cup vanish.

“I’ve begun to grow,” said the Watcher. “You just heard my first Von Neumann Machines. They’ve begun to dig their way down into the Earth.”

“Are they going to Australia?” asked Nicolas.

The Watcher laughed. Katie was smiling, too.

“No. These are different VNMs.”

He grinned mischievously. It was obvious he was going to say no more.

Eva shivered. So a secret part of the Watcher would now live underground. What would it do there? She asked another question.

“So what happens now?”

“I’m taking over. You said I should do it.”

Eva gazed at the Watcher.

“Ouch,” it said, “hard stare.”

“No jokes,” Eva said. “What happens to us?”

“To you? Whatever you like. You are special. You helped me. You are to be rewarded. You already have been, Eva. I cured you.”

“You didn’t cure Alison.”

“We’ve been over that, Eva. I will know what to do in the future. I know what humans think I should do. You told me.” It winked. “I’ve done something else for you, too.”

“What?”

“Your brother. MTPH is such a half-completed idea. I have begun to fulfill its potential. I’ve been feeding you minute quantities of the improved drug since you arrived at the Center, Eva. I’ve struck a bargain with you. You get your brother back; I get someone to play a part in my new world.”

“You struck a bargain with me? You didn’t even ask!”

If Eva felt angry, the Watcher was incandescent. He began shouting with rage.