«You don't seriously mean-?»
«I've been out of work for a year. I quit my computers, retired early, I'm only forty-nine, and have been threatening to knit macrame' to give friends to spoil their walls, day after day. Which shall it be, friend, macrame' or Mozart?»
«Are
«Just his bastard son.»
«Nonsense,» cried Black, pointing his face like a blunderbuss at the trees as if he might blast the choir. «That tree, those birds, are a Rorschach test. Your subconscious is picking and choosing notes from pure chaos. There's no discernible tune, no special rhythm. You had me fooled, but I see and hear it now: you've had a repressed desire since childhood to compose. And you've let a clutch of idiot birds grab you by the ears. Put down that pen!»
«Nonsense right back at you.» Fentriss laughed. «You're jealous that after twelve layabout years, thunderstruck with boredom, one of us has found an occupation. I shall follow it. Listen and write, write and listen. Sit down, you're obstructing the acoustics!»
«I'll sit,» Black exclaimed, «but-« He clapped his hands over his ears.
«Fair enough,» said Fentriss. «Escape fantastic reality while I change a few notes and finish out this unexpected birth.»
Glancing up at the tree, he whispered:
«Wait for me.»
The tree rustled its leaves and fell quiet.
«Crazy,» muttered Black.
One, two, three hours later, entering the library quietly and then loudly, Black cried out:
«What
Bent over his desk, his hand moving furiously, Fentriss said:
«Finishing a symphony!»
«The same one you began in the garden?»
«No, the birds began, the birds!»
«The birds, then.» Black edged closer to study the mad inscriptions. «How do you know
«They did most. I've added variations!»
«An arrogance the ornithologists will resent and attack. Have you composed before?»
«Not»-Fentriss let his fingers roam, loop, and scratch-«until today!»
«You realize, of course, you're plagiarizing those songbirds?»
«Borrowing, Black, borrowing. If a milkmaid, singing at dawn, can have her hum borrowed by Berlioz,
«I? Who sings off-key?»
«What about 'The Emperor's Nightingale'?»
«Stravinsky.»
«'The Birds'?»
«Hitchcock.»
«Damn. How's this: 'It's Only John Cage in a Gilded Bird'?»
«Brilliant. But no one knows who John Cage
''Well, then, I've
«'Forty-seven Magpies Baked in a Pie.'
«Bosh!» Fentriss stabbed the phone. «Hello, Willie? Could you come over? Yes, a small job. Symphonic arrangement for a friend, or friends. What's your usual Philharmonic fee? Eh? Good enough. Tonight!»
Fentriss disconnected and turned to gaze at the tree with wonder in it.
«What
«Forty-seven Magpies,» with title shortened, premiered at the Glendale Chamber Symphony a month later with standing ovations, incredible reviews.
Fentriss, outside his skin with joy, prepared to launch himself atop large, small, symphonic, operatic, whatever fell on his ears. He had listened to the strange choirs each day for weeks, but bad noted nothing, waiting to see if the «Magpie» experiment was to be repeated. When the applause rose in storms and the critics hopped when they weren't skipping, he knew he must strike again before the epilepsy ceased.
There followed: «Wings,» «Flight,» «Night Chorus,» «The Fledgling Madrigals,» and «Dawn Patrol,» each greeted by new thunderstorms of acclamation and critics angry at excellence but forced to praise.
«By now,» said Fentriss, «I should be unbearable to live with, but the birds caution modesty.»
«Also,'' said Black, seated under the tree, waiting for a sprig of benison and the merest touch of symphonic manna, «shut up! If all those sly dimwit composers, who will soon be lurking in the bushes, cop your secret, you're a gone poacher.»
«Poacher! By God, yes!» Fentriss laughed. «Poacher.»
And damn if the first poacher didn't arrive!
Glancing out at tree in the morning, Fentriss witnessed a runty shadow stretching up, handheld tape recorder poised, warbling and whistling softly at the tree. when this failed, the half-seen poacher tried dove-coos and then orioles and roosters, half dancing in a circle.
«Damn it to hell!» Fentriss leaped out with a shotgun cry: «Is that Wolfgang Prouty poaching my garden? Out, Wolfgang! Go!»
Dropping his recorder, Prouty vaulted a bush, impaled himself on thorns, and vanished.
Fentriss, cursing, picked up an abandoned notepad.
«Nightsong,» it read. On the tape recorder he found a lovely Satie-like bird-choir.
After that, more poachers arrived mid-night to depart at dawn. Their spawn, Fentriss realized, would soon throttle his creativity and still his voice. He loitered full-time in the garden now, not knowing what seed to give his beauties, and heavily watered the lawn to fetch up worms. Wearily he stood guard through sleepless nights, nodding off only to find Wolfgang Prouty's evil minions astride the wall, prompting arias, and one night, by God, perched in the tree itself, humming in hopes of sing-alongs.
A shotgun was the final answer. After its first fiery roar, the garden was empty for a week. That is, until– Someone came very late indeed and committed mayhem.
As quietly as possible, he cut the branches and sawed the limbs.
«Oh, envious composers, dreadful murderers!» cried Fentriss.
And the birds were gone.
And the career of Amadeus Two with it.
«Black!» cried Fentriss.
«Yes, dear friend?» said Black, looking at the bleak sky where once green was.
«Is your car outside?»
«When last I looked.»
«Drive!»
But driving in search didn't do it. It wasn't like calling in lost dogs or telephone-poled cats. They must find and cage an entire Mormon tabernacle team of soprano springtime-in-the-Rockies birdseed lovers to prove one in the hand is worth two in the bush.
But still they hastened from block to block, garden to garden, lurking and listening. Now their spirits soared with an echo of «Hallelujah Chorus» oriole warbling, only to sink in a drab sparrow twilight of despair.
Only when they had crossed and recrossed interminable mazes of asphalt and greens did one of them finally (Black) light his pipe and emit a theory.
«Did you ever think to wonder,» he mused behind a smoke-cloud, «what
«Season of the year?» said Fentriss, exasperated.
«Well, coincidentally, wasn't the night the tree fell and the wee songsters blew town, was not that the first
