put in charge of the op. “So, who’s Weir?”
“Ed’s my partner. Or, he was my partner. I’ve told my boss that once this is settled, I’m quitting.”
“Why come to Hauberk? Couldn’t your own people protect you?”
“LBI’s a small company. We don’t have the type of safe houses Hauberk does, or the manpower to protect me. Harris is…dangerous.”
“So you manipulated Sam and me until I was assigned as your lead op.”
She nodded.
“So there’s no story in the Post this weekend? You had someone call it in to convince Sam to assign me to your case?”
“No, there really a story. Ed’s sister works for the Post so we knew they were working on it.”
Shit. He grabbed the pine railing and stared over the lake. “Why me, Lauren? Why seek me out after all these years?”
“Because you’re not the type of man to walk away from an assignment. Because I trust you.”
From the location of her voice, she’d moved. Was coming closer.
His shoulders stiffened as if he were expecting her to plunge yet another metaphorical knife between them. “You didn’t trust me when we were married. Why in hell would you trust me now?”
The footsteps stopped. “I trusted you! I’ve always trusted you.”
He snorted. “You trusted me not to follow you to England.”
She’d been right. He’d let her walk away. Until yesterday he’d questioned that decision every day. Now, with her here, he wasn’t sure that perhaps it hadn’t been the best decision he’d ever made. The ability to live with the hole she’d left had been torn from him and when this was over, he’d have to rebuild everything all over again.
“I didn’t leave you because I didn’t trust you. I left because I trusted the wrong person’s advice. I made a bad decision, Chad. Haven’t you ever made a decision you regretted later?”
Instead of feeling the satisfaction, the relief he’d expected, anger surged inside him, a low burn that boiled over. “It’s taken you nearly ten years-ten fucking years-to find me to tell me that? You threw everything we had together away, Lauren. I gave you my word that I would be there for you. I stood up in front of a judge and promised to love, honor and cherish you, no matter what. So did you.”
“I know. I should have stayed.” Her quiet answer slipped into his brain, into his heart, a soothing balm tipped with barbs. “I was mixed up; I wasn’t thinking clearly. By the time I realized it, I thought you’d moved on.”
“I loved you, Lauren.” Part of him still did no matter how much he tried to deny it. “I would have done anything to make our marriage work.”
She slipped past him and leaned against the door post, her arms wrapped around her waist the only clue that she wasn’t as composed as she tried to appear. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry about not trusting you, about not talking to you-not telling you what was going on in my head.”
Did her apology help ease the hurt? He did a mental check. Nope. That goddamned ache in his chest still hurt like a sonovabitch.
He forced himself to look at her without allowing her to see how much her apology hurt. He’d be damned if he’d give her that power over him. “I’m going back to D.C. Troy can-”
“Please. Don’t leave.” She moved closer, her breasts brushing his shirt, her hips touching his. She hadn’t put on any perfume but there was still a hint of something fruity wafting from her, probably her shampoo.
His cock punched a tent in the front of his sweats. Fuck.
“Don’t leave. Not with this still between us,” she whispered. “I thought I was doing the right thing. Once I realized what a mess I’d made of things, I’d been told you were already with someone else and I figured it was better to let you go.”
God, he wanted to touch her. To hold her. To have her rest her head against his shoulder the way she had the night before. While his brain was saying “damned straight I didn’t understand,” his cock was saying “lie down on the couch, babe, and let me taste you again.” At the moment, it was a dead heat as to which body part would win the argument. Then his guts weighed in. When this was over-whatever it was-would he find himself alone? Because there was no way he could go through losing her again.
“How would you know if I was with someone else? You were half the fuckin’ world away.” Maybe if he couldn’t smell her he could fight whatever spell she was weaving. Distance, that’s what he needed. Yet he couldn’t move; his legs felt like they’d been nailed in place. “What do you want from me, Lauren?”
“From you? Nothing. But I need to make things right for you, for both of us,” she whispered. Her eyes slowly lifted to his again. He lost himself in the flecks of gold buried amongst the brown. “I want to…I want us to try again.”
His hand reached for her, hovered an inch above her hair before he stopped himself. Damn, she looked just like she did when they were first dating. When they’d finally admitted what they’d each needed, wanted from the other. On their wedding day when she’d promised to love him for better or worse. Well, he sure as hell had delivered the worst, hadn’t he?
She looked up at him, conviction firm in her voice as well as her eyes. “I’ll do whatever you ask to prove myself to you. Except leave.”
“Will you?” He gave in to the temptation and touched her hair with one finger. It was as soft, as silky as he remembered. He cupped the back of her head, holding her in place, letting her feel his control. A dark wave of lust swamped him. Why not make her prove she’d changed? Or not. Why not satisfy that demon inside that needed to punish her? He tightened his grip. “If I told you to suck me off right here where my men could see you, would you do it?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation to her answer. She started to reach for his waistband.
What the hell was he doing? They were out in the open where anyone could see. He had to work with these men, command their respect, not give them a thrill watching their boss get a blowjob. “Stop.”
“But…”
Telling his dick it would just have to wait, he stepped out of her reach. “You want to do something for me? You want me to trust you? Then stop lying to me and tell me the truth. About what the hell the threat is and exactly why you’re here.”
They stared at each other for a long moment, the faint buzz of a plane thirty thousand feet above and a sparrow chirping to his mate the only sounds breaking the silence. Finally she nodded. “All right, but I can’t tell you everything. Some of it’s classified.”
Classified? Perhaps this Light Brigade place she’d worked for had involved one of the alphabet agencies if Harris had terrorist connections. “Come on, let’s go back to the house. I’d rather not have anyone listen in to whatever we end up saying.”
Or watch whatever they ended up doing. Be it yelling or making love.
Chapter Nine
The two of them walked along the path back to the house without speaking. While they walked, Chad wondered if Lauren was composing answers for him with the same deliberation he was preparing his questions. For years he’d been composing what he wanted to ask. Yet so many of the questions now seemed futile or petty. She’d walked away from him. She’d been clear she hadn’t agreed with his decision about the FBI. She’d been furious when that video of the two of them having sex in their bedroom had been posted on the internet and gone viral, how stills had been splashed across every goddamned newspaper on the east coast and beyond. To this day he figured out how someone had managed to sneak a camera into the house. He’d gone over the place with every detector he could lay his hands on and never found a trace of the goddamned thing.
He’d done every damned thing she’d asked. Yet it hadn’t been enough. The sense of hope that had flared to life twisted on him, turned into a serpent intent on destroying his dreams.
Once they were in her room and he’d closed the door, Lauren took a deep breath and faced him. “I really am sorry. About leaving you. I know it was wrong. I apologize for that.”
“You’ve said that already.” He scrubbed his hands over his face as he fought for control. “Look, I know you were unhappy. I know you didn’t agree with some of the choices I made. Thalia told me-”
