you like, Ivy. She'll still be your cat. She'll just be my cat too. You can come see her whenever you want.'
'No,' Ivy said firmly. 'No.'
'No?' His heart stopped. He was still sitting upright holding a pile of kitty stuff, but he was sure he'd just had a cardiac arrest.
'It will only mix her up,' Ivy explained. 'And I don't think-I don't think I can stand to.'
He longed to reach out to touch her then, to take one of her slender hands in his, but he didn't dare. Instead he pretended to study the little pink brush and waited for Ivy to regain her composure.
Ella came over to sniff her brush, then pushed her head against it. Tristan gently ran it along her flank.
'She likes it best around her head,' Ivy said. She took his hand and guided it. 'Under her chin.
And her cheeks-that's where her scent glands are, the ones she uses for marking things. I think she likes you, Tristan.'
She took her hand away. Tristan continued to brush Ella. The cat suddenly rolled over on her back.
Ivy laughed. 'Well, well! You little tramp!'
With his hand Tristan rubbed her belly. The fur was luxuriously long and soft.
'I wonder why cats don't like water,' he mused. 'If you threw one in a pool, would it swim?'
'Don't you dare!' Ivy said. 'Don't you dare do that!'
The cat leaped to its feet and scooted under a chair.
Tristan looked at Ivy with surprise. 'Of course I wouldn't. I was just wondering.'
She dropped her eyes. Color crept into her cheeks.
'Is that what happened to you, Ivy?'
When she didn't answer, he tried again. 'What made you afraid of water?' he asked quietly.
'Something from when you were a little kid?'
Ivy wouldn't look at him. 'I owe you big time,' she said, 'for getting me down from that board.'
'You don't owe me anything. I was just asking because I was trying to understand. Swimming is my life. It's hard for me to imagine what it's like not to love water.'
'I don't see how you could understand,' Ivy said. 'Water to you is like wind to a bird. It lets you fly. At least that's how it looks. It's hard for me to imagine how that feels.'
'What made you afraid of it?' he persisted. 'Who made you afraid of it?'
She thought for a moment. 'I don't even remember his name. One of my mother's boyfriends.
She had a lot of them and some of them were nice. But he was mean. He took us to a friend's pool. I was four, I think. I didn't know how to swim and didn't want to go in the water. I guess I got annoying after a while, hanging on to Mom.'
She swallowed and glanced up at Tristan.
'And?' he said softly.
'Mom went inside for a few minutes, to help with sandwiches or something. He grabbed hold of me. I knew what he was going to do and started kicking and screaming, but Mom didn't hear me.
He dragged me over to the pool's edge. 'Let's see if she'll swim!' he said, 'Let's see if the cat will swim!' He picked me up high and threw me in.'
Tristan flinched, as if he were there, actually watching it.
'The water was way over my head,' Ivy continued. 'I floundered around, kicking and moving my arms, but I couldn't keep my face above water. I started choking on it, swallowing it. I couldn't get up for air.'
Tristan stared at her, incredulous. 'And this guy, did he jump in after you?'
'No.' Ivy had risen to her feet and was moving around the room like a restless cat. Ella poked her head out to watch, a dust ball hanging from her whiskers.
'I'm pretty sure he was drunk,' Ivy said. 'Everything started getting blurry to me. Then dark. My arms and legs seemed so heavy, and my chest felt like it would burst. I prayed. For the first time in my life, I prayed to my guardian angel. Then I felt myself being lifted up, held above the water. My lungs stopped hurting, my eyes grew clear. I don't remember much about the angel, except that she was shining, and many colors, and beautiful.'
Ivy glanced sideways at Tristan, then broke into a wide smile. She came back to him and sat on the floor again, facing him.
'It's okay. I don't expect you to believe me. Nobody else did. Apparently my mother had come out to see what was going on and her friend had turned around to speak to her, so no one saw how I made it back to the pool's edge. They just figured that, thrown in, a kid would learn to swim.' Her face was wistful. She was somewhere else again, still remembering.
'I'd like to believe in your angel,' Tristan said. Then he shrugged. 'Sorry.' He had heard stories like it before. His father occasionally brought such tales home from the hospital. But it was just the way the human mind worked, he thought; it was the way certain minds respond in a crisis.
'You know, when I was up there on the board Monday,' Ivy said, 'I prayed to my water angel.'
'But all you got was me,' Tristan pointed out.
'Good enough,' she replied, and laughed a little.
'Ivy-' He tried to still the tremor in his voice, not wanting her to know how much he was hoping. 'I could teach you how to swim.'
Her eyes opened wide.
'After school. The coach would let us in the pool.'
Her hands, her eyes, everything about her was still and watching him.
'It's a great feeling, Ivy. Do you know what it's like to float on a lake, a circle of trees around you, a big blue bowl of sky above you? You're just lying on top of the water, sun sparkling at the tips of your fingers and toes. Do you know how it feels to swim in the ocean? To be swimming hard and have a wave catch you and effortlessly lift you up-' Without realizing what he was doing, he put a hand on each arm and lifted her. Her skin was covered with goose bumps.
'Sorry,' he said, letting her down quickly. 'I'm sorry. I got carried away.'
'It's okay,' she said, but she wouldn't look at him again.
He wondered which she was more afraid of, the water or him.
Probably him, he thought, and he didn't know what to do about it. 'I'd make it fun, just like when I teach the kids at summer camp,' Tristan said encouragingly. 'Think about it, okay?'
She nodded.
Clearly he made her uncomfortable. He wished he could apologize for plowing into her in the hall, for showing up at her mother's wedding, for calling her about her cat. He wanted to promise her that he wouldn't bother her anymore, hoping that would put her at ease. But she suddenly looked so confused and tired; it seemed best not to say anything else.
'I'll be real good to Ella,' he told her. 'If something changes and you want her back, give me a call. And if you decide that you do want to visit her, I don't have to be around. Okay?'
Ivy looked up at him wonderingly.
'So,' he said, standing up. 'I'm the cook Tuesdays and Fridays. I'd better start dinner.'
'What are you fixing?' Ivy asked.
'Liver bits and gravy. Oh, no, sorry, that's Ella's can.'
It was a weak joke, but she smiled.
'Stay and play with Ella as long as you like,' he told her.
'Thank you.'
Then he headed toward the kitchen to give her some time alone with the cat. But before he had gotten to the doorway he heard her say, 'Good-bye, Ella.' A moment later, the front door clicked shut behind her.
When Ivy emerged from the locker room, Tristan was already in the water. Coach had let her into the locked pool area. She had expected the older man to stare at her in disbelief-'You mean you don't know how to swim?' But his face, which was long and lined like a raisin, was kind and unquestioning. He greeted her, then retreated to his office.
It had taken Ivy a week to decide to do this. She had swum in her dreams, for miles some nights.
