Ellie shifted uncomfortably. “It’s hard to explain, but when I’m with Ric... I’m a different person. He does something to me, Clare... he changes me...”
“Yes. He is.”
“And you’re addicted?”
“Yes. I am.”
The years seemed to melt off Ellie when she talked about Ric. Her expression was animated, her complexion more vibrant, her hazel-green eyes bright.
My gaze fell to the gold wedding band on her finger, and I wondered how far things had gone with her old beau. She said they’d just embraced, but was that really all? Was it just a mutual admiration society? Or was it a full blown affair?
“You know, Ellie,” I said, blatantly fishing, “I was always sorry that I missed your wedding. You had it here, didn’t you?”
Ellie looked away—toward two reflecting pools standing in front of a beautiful glass structure that resembled London’s famous Crystal Palace.
“Jerry and I took our vows on Daffodil Hill, in early April—the optimum time to see the blooms. The Garden staff was there, and Jerry’s entire lab came. We had our reception in the Palm House, and, of course, there was a
The words painted a lovely memory, but Ellie’s voice was a monotone. Her buoyant expression had gone blank.
“And how’s the marriage?” I asked carefully. “Every-thing still perfect?”
“You’re asking because of Ric?”
“You loved him so much years ago. You were devastated when he left without proposing. I remember how badly you cried.”
“I cried so much because...” Ellie glanced down. She looked pained. “I was pregnant, Clare.”
For a few seconds, I didn’t move, and I questioned whether I’d heard her correctly. “You were pregnant?”
Ellie nodded.
“But you never said anything... not to me, and we were close back then. Or at least I thought we were.”
“We were. I didn’t tell
“Why not?”
“I didn’t want Ric to stay in America and marry me just because of a baby. I wanted him to stay for me. I didn’t want to quit college and end up like—”
Her run of words abruptly halted. She met my eyes, her expression somewhere between disdain and pity.
“End up like me?” I finished for her.
“I’m sorry, Clare. You have to understand... I was young at the time, and I had very little resources. I wanted to finish my degree, and I just couldn’t do it alone with a baby. My family was in no position to help me financially. They barely had enough to cover their own debts, and they hated my coming to New York—”
She was talking very fast now, awkwardly trying to make up for her insult. I patted her shoulder. “It’s okay,” I said, but she kept going.
“My family would have demanded I move back to West Virginia to have the baby, you see? And I’m sure I would have had to start working at some menial job to support my child—”
“Yes, I understand.”
“And I just couldn’t see myself doing that.”
“No, no, of course not.”
“The only future I could see was if Ric had decided to stay and marry me because he loved me... or asked me to go back to Costa Gravas with him. But he did neither.”
“So you aborted your child?”
Ellie nodded. Now her eyes were wet. “It broke my heart, but I didn’t see any other way.”
“And did you ever tell Ric?”
Ellie nodded. “He was upset. He said I should have leveled with him back then. That he would have married me.”
“Do you believe him?”
“It doesn’t matter if I do or don’t. I was afraid he’d end up resenting the child and me, or he’d end up cheating just like—”
Once again, she cut herself off. So I finished for her. “Just like Matt did to me.”
Ellie closed her eyes. “I didn’t mean to imply...” Her voice trailed off, and once more I said, “It’s okay. The truth is, I felt the same way you did. I just felt it after I married Matt. I found evidence of his cheating one morning, and I considered walking out, but I was afraid of raising Joy on my own... so I stayed.”
“You’re happy now though?”
“Yes. Maybe one day I’ll finish my fine arts degree. Maybe not. My life’s good. I love my work, and I love my daughter. I don’t regret for one second what I gave up to have her. If you recall, Matt
“And now you’ve obviously forgiven Matt. You’ve gone into business with him.”
“Yes, I have. And now
Ellie looked away again. “I hadn’t thought of it as the same thing.”
“But it is. Time passes, and we forgive... don’t we?”
Ellie smiled but very weakly. “Sure.”
There was something about her smile that unsettled me. She was holding back again, and I wondered for a moment if Ellie was being totally honest... or playing me.
I hadn’t seen her in so many years, and she’d changed so much it was hard talking with her. But in the last two minutes what hit me the hardest was finally realizing why we were no longer friends.
I understood what Ellie had done, and why she’d done it. And I wasn’t about to judge her. But Ellie had judged me. That was clear to me now. She had no respect for me or my choices. Oh, she’d never stated it outright. Not ever. But somewhere along the line in those years past, she must have sent out the signals because I’d stopped caring whether we saw each other any more.
You’d think by now I would be a whiz at stumbling upon disturbing realities—like a pistol-whipped body in my back alley, for instance, or a homeless man’s frozen corpse. But chancing upon the truth about an old friendship was no less disturbing. I did my best to cover my reaction, but it shook me up.
I began to wonder what kind of person Ellie Shaw had become and what she was capable of. Was it possible she hadn’t forgiven Ric at all? Was she playing him now for some kind of latent revenge?
“Did you know that Ric was mugged behind the Village Blend?” I found myself asking, suddenly needing to see her reaction.
“What?” Ellie’s weak smile disappeared.
“Last night. Someone pistol-whipped him from behind.”
“Oh my goodness, Clare, why didn’t you say something earlier? Does he know who did it?”
I shook my head. “He says it’s no big deal. And he didn’t see the man’s face... of course it could have been a woman.”
“What do you mean it could have been a woman? Women don’t mug people on the street.”
“Whoever this was used a prerecorded message of commands. The detective I consulted thinks it means Ric would have recognized the mugger’s voice.”
“You consulted a detective already?” Ellie asked. She seemed upset by this.
I nodded. “What do you think?”
“What do I think of what?”
“Do you know anyone who might want to harm Ric or steal his cutting?”
“What cutting? What are you talking about, Clare?”
“He smuggled a cutting into the country to show to the press and the trade this Friday at the Beekman. He
