“No!”
“Then you are not my lover?”
“I am only as yet your sweetheart.”
“When will you be my lover?”
“In as long a time as possible.”
“I suppose it is because you would dislike it?”
“Not at all, just the reverse. It is the thing that I should like above all things in the world.”
“Oh dear! how tiresome! I no longer understand you.”
“To be the lover of a woman, pretty little Violette, is to be, in the alphabet of love's pleasures, at the letter Z of the ordinary alphabet. There are twenty-four letters to learn before you come to the end of that series whose first letter, the letter A, is a kiss on the hand.”
I took her little hand and kissed it.
“And what you did to me this morning-what letter was it?”
I was fain to confess that it stood very close to letter Z, and that I had omitted many vowels and consonants to get to that stage.
“You are chaffing me!”
“No, indeed I am not, sweet darling. I should like to make this alphabet last as long as possible-this charming alphabet of love, of which each letter is a caress and each caress is bliss. I should wish to take off little by little that robe of innocence, just as I shall pluck one by one all the different articles of your apparel from your person.
“If you were dressed, each portion that I should take off would disclose something new to me-something unknown, something charming; the neck, the shoulder, the bosom, and, by degrees, all the rest. Like a brute, I divested you of all in a moment. You did not know the value of all that you gave away.”
“Then I have done wrong?”
“No, no! I loved you too much, too passionately, to proceed otherwise.”
I slipped off her gown, and then she sat on my knee clad only in her chemise.
“You wish to know what is virginity,” I said, losing all control of myself. “Well, I wall tell you; but draw near- nearer still-your lips on mine.”
I pressed her to my breast; she clasped her arms round my neck, sighing and panting with amorous excitement.
“Do you feel my hand?” I asked.
“Oh, yes!” said she, with a shiver through her whole frame.
“And my finger, do you feel it too?”
“Yes… Yes!…”
“I am now touching what they call the maidenhead. When once this is broken through you cease to be a virgin, and you become a woman. Well, what I wish is to caress you only in such a way that you shall keep that maidenhead as long as possible. Do you understand?”
Directly my finger was fixed there, Violette gave no other answer than by caressing me fondly and muttering passionate words. Then she entwined her body round mine, uttered inarticulate exclamations, sighed, and suddenly she loosened her hold of me; her head fell back, and she lay as if in a swoon. I undressed rapidly, tore off her chemise, and stretched her against me in the bed.
She soon recovered and said:
“Oh, I am dead!”
“Dead!” I cried. “You dead! Just as if you said I was dead. Oh, no! on the contrary, we are beginning to live.” And I covered her with kisses which made her writhe as if they had been so many bites. Then she began in her turn to bite me with little passionate cries. Each time our lips met there was a pause, full of voluptuous pleasure.
Suddenly she gave a cry of astonishment, and seized with both hands the unknown object which had caused her surprise, as if the veil were torn asunder.
“I understand,” said she, “it is with this-But it is quite impossible.”
“Violette, my sweet darling, I can no longer restrain myself; I shall become mad!”
I tried to tear myself away from her embraces.
“No,” she said. “Remain if you love me. Do not be afraid of hurting me, I wish it.”
She then slipped under me, clasped her arms around my neck, twined her thighs round mine, pushing her body against my own.
“I wish it,” she repeated-“I wish it.”
Suddenly she gave a little shriek.
All my fine resolutions had vanished. At the same time that Violette began to understand what was a maidenhead, she had lost her own.
On hearing her cry out, I stopped.
“Oh, no” she said, “go on!… go on!… You hurt me; but if you did not hurt me, I should be too happy! I wish to have pain! Go, do not stop! Do, dear Christian, my beloved! my friend! Oh, I shall go mad!
“Oh, it is like fire! Oh, I die!
“Take me, take all!”
Ah! Mahomet fully knew by what dream he should enthrall man when he gave his disciples the sensual Paradise-a bottomless abyss of voluptuous rapture always renewed.
We spent a night full of bliss-of passionate caresses, and never closed eyes till day break.
“Ah!” said she, on waking and embracing me, “I hope now I am no longer a virgin.”
CHAPTER IV
The pain which poor Violette had suffered was not serious; but it was irritating when not counteracted by love's pleasures. I told her before leaving that she should bathe the injured parts in bran water, with an application of a decoction of marshmallow.
I had to explain to her the anatomy of the parts under treatment, and, with the aid of a looking glass, and thanks to the pliancy of her body, I was able to make the demonstration on her own person.
Violette, in her innocence, had never thought of looking at herself and what she saw was perfectly unknown to her.
During the night we spent together she had acquired some vague notions on the way of begetting children. I began by explaining to her the general and physical effect of nature, which is the reproduction of the human kind, the perfecting of this species being quite a secondary matter, a detail of society.
I further pointed out that it was solely with that object that nature had ordained such rapturous sensations in the conjunctions of the sexes, and that the certainty of eternal victory of life over death rested entirely in the attraction which was experienced by all living things, from man to plants.
Then I went into details and explained to her the part played by each organ. I began with the clitoris, the seat of pleasure in young girls, and which is so little developed with them. I then passed on to the membrane of Hymen, thrown as a veil of modesty on the vagina, which later on becomes the maternal outlet. In short, I disclosed to her all the mysteries of the organs of procreation.
She listened with the utmost attention and seemed to drink in all my words, which impressed themselves one by one on her memory.
After this I left her dreaming and pondering over all that I had told her, and wondering that so many things should be concealed by the veil of her innocence.
My resolve was to devote my spare time to Violette's company, but not to neglect meanwhile my usual labours. The lectures which I attended at the School of Medicine, and studies at different museums, always took place in the daytime, I could therefore very well manage to carry them on concurrently with my nocturnal occupations at the Rue Saint Augustin.
When I returned that evening to Violette's room, I found the tea all ready, with cakes and other delicacies. In my absence, Violette had performed her duties as mistress of the house. We therefore dismissed Leonie, with those services we could very well dispense.
