myself, maybe I didn’t want Cooper to come back.
“Why shouldn’t I be alpha?” she demanded. “I’m one of the strongest in the pack. I’m the fastest. Except for Eli, I’m probably the smartest. I’m the one who stood up for the pack when we were attacked. Why shouldn’t I take over where Cooper left off? He didn’t want it, so why shouldn’t I have it? Why should he be able to just throw it away like it’s nothing?”
I tentatively patted her hand. “Obviously, there’s a little bit more going on than the standard sibling abandonment issues.”
“Yeah, for years, I’ve been . . .”
“I can think of a few adjectives if you need some help.”
She glared at me. “I’ve been a spoiled, selfish little bitch who needs a good kick in the ass. I’ve been a shit to him for years. Because I didn’t think he was hurting enough. Eli always said that he seemed fine. And somehow that made it worse. I figured I was hurt, so he should hurt more, you know? When I saw that you made him happy, it was like he was getting out of his punishment. I didn’t know how badly he was hurting. I didn’t know that he missed me, too. I was so angry at him for so long. I don’t know how to come back from that.”
“What do you want from me, Maggie? Advice? Absolution? Go forth and be a bitch no more.”
“No. I wanted to know, do you think Cooper can forgive me?” She looked up at me, and suddenly, she seemed very young.
I put my arm around her. Well, I put my arm on the bench behind her without actually touching her, but my intent was clear. “I think you and Cooper need to talk. He misses you—a lot. But there are some things you need to talk about.”
“Thanks.” She mumbled before straightening, “This doesn’t mean I like you.”
“Oh, no, I still think you’re a horribly spoiled little snot. And the minute I’m not pregnant anymore, I plan on kicking your ass. Scrappy Doo.”
She smirked at me, then got up and walked into the woods at the end of the street. I couldn’t see her phase, but I heard the long howl that followed. I shook my head. This is something you’d never see on Dr. Phil.
WHEN MORNING CAME, Cooper hadn’t returned. He hadn’t even called. I went to work, thinking he might go straight there from his hunting trip, but by lunchtime, he hadn’t shown up or answered calls to his cell phone. I was cooking and covering for Evie, who was at home recovering from a fairly hideous dental appointment. And although I wanted to run home and check to see if Cooper was there, I couldn’t leave.
I wondered if Maggie had taken my advice literally and tracked Cooper down the minute she left the saloon. Maybe they’d made up and were enjoying some wolf-sibling bonding time? It seemed more likely that they’d had a knock-down, drag-out fight and Cooper was curled up in the woods somewhere, recuperating from a severe testicle injury.
I grew more and more fidgety. I tried to distract myself, keep my head down, and throw myself into getting plates out the pass. I tried to tell myself I was being silly, overreacting. There was no reason to think Cooper was in trouble. For all I knew, his hunting party was doing well and he was being paid overtime. But I couldn’t get rid of nagging little flares of worry in back of my head as I rounded the counter, preparing to take Alan’s lunch order.
“Hey, Mo,” he said. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m OK. I’ve stopped throwing up every time I crack an egg, which is an occupational plus.”
He started to laugh and looked down at his belt when his cell phone rang. “Sorry. Give me a minute. Hey, Walt, what can I—Slow down, Walt. Tell them to stop yelling, I can’t hear you.”
I tilted my head, sending him a questioning look. He rolled his eyes and shrugged.
“You shot what, now?” he exclaimed, standing, knocking his stool to the floor behind him. “No, don’t bring it here! Take it to my barn. Yeah, I’ll be right there.”
Alan snapped his phone shut. “Walt and a couple of his friends shot a wolf outside of town. They said it’s a big sonofabitch and want me to come see if it could be the wolf that attacked Susie and Abner.”
I stopped in my tracks, blood roaring through my ears. The pad slipped from my hands, clattering to the floor.
Alan looked up and grimaced. “You OK? You look pretty pale. Why don’t you sit down?”
“What about the wolf?” I heard myself ask.
“They’re driving it out to my place now, so I can take a look at it. I need to take some measurements, some pictures, call a vet to do a necropsy . . .”
My head spun as my stomach did an unpleasant slide. I turned on my heel, pulling my keys out of my apron as Alan called, “Mo? You OK?”
Lynette strolled through the door, preparing to flirt with Alan. I caught her arm and pulled her with me as I headed for the door. “Lynette, I need you to take over bar duty. The lunch rush is over. Pete’s taking care of the dishes. I just need you to keep an eye on things for a little bit.”
“It’s my day off.” Lynette scowled, jerking her arm out of my hand.
I snarled, backing her into the wall. “Now, you listen to me. I’ve put up with your bullshit for almost a year. Your lousy attitude, your piss-poor work ethic, and the fact that you take more than your fair share of the tip jar on more nights than I can count. And despite the fact that I’ve had to cover for you, I’ve never said anything. But so help me God, if you don’t step up to the plate this once, I am going to tell Buzz about those butt prints I found on the shelf in the walk-in freezer.”
Lynette blanched. “You can’t know that was me.”
“Well, I didn’t, but I do now,” I said, throwing an apron at her. “Take drink orders, collect on tabs, do your damn job.”
Lynette nodded, mute, as I stalked out the door.
Just because Walt shot a wolf didn’t mean it was Cooper, right? There were dozens of wolves in the area. Walt could have killed any one of them. That’s what I kept telling myself as I pulled away from the saloon.
In the rearview mirror, I caught sight of my neighbors through the saloon window—normal people, eating burgers and living normal lives. I used to be one of them, totally unaware of the world beyond ours. And for a split second, I felt sorry enough for myself to want that ignorance back.
On the drive to our house, I prayed to Jesus, Buddha, Gaia, the Great Spirit, and every other deity I could think of to let me drive home and find Cooper climbing out of his truck, with some story about a flat tire and a dead cell-phone battery. When I got home and found the driveway empty, I realized how asinine that hope was. I climbed out of the truck and dialed Cooper’s cell phone again while I opened the front door. I was sent to voice mail as I did a cursory sweep of the house. “Cooper, if you get this, please, please call me so I know you’re all right.” I snapped the phone shut.
I paced on the porch and tried to work through all of the scenarios in my head. I could rush over to Alan’s, throw myself into the group of triumphant hunters, and . . . what? What would I do if it was Cooper in wolf form? I would collapse, possibly start screaming and beating the men in the hunting party, and get hauled away to jail. It would be awfully tough to raise my baby in a prison mental ward. And what if the wolf wasn’t Cooper? I swiped at the tears flowing steadily down my cheeks now. What if it was one of Cooper’s relatives? How would I handle that? What if it was just a plain, everyday wolf? How would I explain my sudden overwhelming desire to see a carcass?
I was way over my head here. I pulled out my cell phone and called the only number I could think of.
“Eli?”
WHERE WAS JENNIFER GARNER when you needed her?
Alias superspy Sydney Bristow could sneak through the woods outside Alan’s cabin, do a reconnaissance mission, and seek out her possibly dead werewolf boyfriend, then escape without any problem. If Sydney Bristow had a werewolf boyfriend. It would probably involve a Supernatural crossover.
I, on the other hand, had to call Eli and ask him to sneak me over to Alan’s and help me get through this. I’d left Cooper ten or so increasingly desperate voice mails demanding that he call me back. In my final message, I told him where I was meeting Eli and begged him to keep me from seeing my first dead wolf up close. So far, he hadn’t
