look first. We can’t go back to your house. Or mine.”
“You’re right.”
“I’ll tell Ronan to warn my father away until this is settled. He won’t be happy, but if we can find what we’re looking for now, then I can set all back to rights soon.”
“Meaning your father can go home, and you can wash your hands of me by dumping me on Sean Blackbourne’s doorstep?”
His face tightened, darkened. Raiden’s temper wasn’t a small thing, and she wondered if she’d crossed some line.
He cursed and turned away. “That would be for the best.”
“For whom?” she challenged, furious to the bone with his oblique answers. “It would certainly be easiest for you. Then you could rid yourself of me, guilt-free and—”
Raiden grabbed her and pulled her close. “Listen to me. I have tried every way I know to spare you more heartache. I was a bastard to you, yes. I seduced you with every intention of walking out the door. I don’t mate. I am my father’s son.”
“I refuse to believe that.” Tabitha shook her head.
“I’m trying to do the right thing now. Instead of seducing you again, I’m warning you away. Which do you think I’d rather do?” He raised a golden brow, his hot gaze wandering down her body.
She flushed hot and tingly. “You held me with such tenderness. The way you made me feel so secure and whispered to me when we were together was—”
“Designed to separate a pretty female from her knickers.” He forced himself to be brutally honest. “It’s a skill I’ve spent decades perfecting. Your parents knew this when they threatened me out of your life.”
She blinked, her hazel green eyes wide and astounded. “Threatened you?”
“To step aside or have the Council elder, your mate-to-be’s uncle, censure and incarcerate me until you were happily mated.”
That would have left the Doomsday Brethren fighting with one less warrior. Had Raiden allowed that to happen, he might as well have signed his own twin’s death warrant—along with those of the other Doomsday Brethren. They’d already been woefully outmanned. He hadn’t wanted to leave Tabby, though he hadn’t believed for one moment that he would have made a genteel witch like her happy. His desires ran deep, dark. He’d barely begun to unleash his wants on her. Eventually, he would have shocked her, and she would have realized what her parents already knew: he wasn’t good enough for her.
“You didn’t fight for me at all.” She didn’t ask because she knew the answer, but the hurt in her voice made Raiden bleed inside.
“No.” In good conscience, how could he?
Tabby stepped back, a protective hand over the gentle swell of her belly. Shielding their baby from him. Pain at that realization gouged his chest and nearly took him to his knees. Raiden forced himself to swallow and send her a stare of cold challenge.
“Why are you helping me now? Because of the baby?” she asked.
God, she looked ready to break into a thousand pieces, and Raiden couldn’t stand to heap more pain on her. His gaze softened. “I’m not cruel. You and the baby matter. It would devastate me to see Mathias hurt you. And if you remain near me, he’d certainly try. Besides, I’m simply not built for commitment. The sooner you accept that, the happier you’ll be.”
She stared at him as if he were a stranger, her eyes wary and tear-filled. “Then you’re right. We should find whatever is in this building quickly so we can part ways.”
Without another word, she tried the door. It didn’t budge.
“Drat!”
Bram had given him the heads-up on accessing these buildings, once used by Council officials and their ministers. Raiden closed his eyes and chanted the spell Bram had provided, then coupled it with his own ability to sense other beings near.
Seconds later, the latch in Tabby’s hand clicked. She blinked and pushed the door open. “How did you do that?”
He shook his head, sensing they weren’t the only people here and praying Mathias wasn’t already hot on their tails.
“Quiet. We’re not alone,” he whispered. “Let’s go.”
Raiden led them away from the nearby encroachers, tiptoeing up the stairs with Tabby’s hand in his. Once they’d started up the stairs, she squeezed his hand. He turned to her.
“This is familiar,” she whispered with an unblinking stare. “I remember being here.”
He took her shoulders in his grasp. “Do you remember exactly how to reach your father’s office?”
She frowned, as if trying to sort through her memories. “I’ll try. I know we walked up several flights of stairs, through a big brown door. There was a reception area with lots of colorful tiles…”
For all he knew, every floor looked that way, but he smiled encouragingly. “We’ll keep going and see if anything looks right to you.”
They ascended another flight of stairs. When they peered out the door from the stairwell to the offices, she shook her head. They repeated the process with the same results. On the fourth floor, she nodded emphatically.
“My father’s office was on the other side of the fountain, near the tiles shaped like the rune for Truth, a giant Y-looking symbol.”
She raced across the floor before he could stop her. Thankfully, the building’s other occupants, whoever they were, hadn’t come this way—yet. Raiden prayed it remained thus. He needed to keep Tabitha safe, help her protect the tree her father had been willing to die for, then get her out of his life. Because God help him, with every moment he stayed near her, Raiden wanted nothing more than to grab her, kiss her, remember every perfect, lush curve, retrace them with his hands, his mouth. Keep her close always.
She tiptoed across the tiled floor quietly, then reached for the door. Raiden closed the space between them with a blink and clapped his hand over hers, staying her.
“Let me,” he demanded. He sensed no one inside… but he couldn’t be too careful where Tabby was concerned.
She stepped aside. “Be careful. Please.”
And just like that, she undid his good intentions of keeping his distance. Even when he was a bastard to her, she goddamn cared. How was a man who’d never known genuine feelings supposed to do without them once he’d found them? It would be like living without sunlight.
Was he doing the right thing in letting her go?
For a moment, Raiden closed his eyes and sorted through the cacophony in his head, which was clashing with all the clatter in his heart. But at the end of the day, he still didn’t know if he was capable of caring for one woman for the rest of his life. Was it fair to risk her to try and learn to love? No. He’d be putting his own desire for her above her safety. Mathias or the Anarki could kill him tomorrow and leave her mateless and mourning. Or she could become a target in her own right.
He would have to accept that as much as he desired Tabby above all others, he would be doing her a disservice to let her believe they had a future.
“Is something wrong?” she asked. “Is someone inside?”
Her questions brought him out of his reverie. “No.”
Raiden shoved the door open to reveal a fairly standard, if outdated, office. A clunky desk with a fake wood- grain top and chrome legs. A phone. Empty file folders. A picture frame. A plant, curiously alive.
“Does this look familiar?” he asked her.
But when he turned, she was rushing into the room and lifting the picture frame. Tears filled her eyes, ran down her cheeks. “Daddy and Mum. Winston and James. I can’t believe they’re truly gone.”
Looking so lost and alone, Tabby met his gaze across the room. Raiden couldn’t stand it; he closed the distance between them and grabbed her up in his arms.
