George glowered at the now spasmodic Twitch, who said defensively, 'Looked like he was really feeling her up to me, George,' confirming Joe's disenchantment.
It was decision time. Joe could actually see the thoughts making their slow progress across the boxer's face. If he fought like this, how did he ever manage to win? Then Joe's gaze fell to those huge fists which looked like they'd been carved by that Greek guy Mickey Angel out of solid granite for some gigantic statue.
He urged, 'She loves you true, George. You gotta see that. How could she settle for a guy like me when she could have a hunk like you?'
He could see how this logic made its mark, but in George's primitive mind a photo was still worth a thousand words. He needed supportive evidence.
'This fiancee, Beryl, where does she live?' he demanded.
'Next block, number 23,' gabbled Joe, thinking, I've got him!
'I need to talk to her.'
'Yeah, sure. Er, why is that?'
'She tells me she's your fiancee, then maybe I don't smash you to a pulp,' said George.
Joe's mind was racing. Beryl was sharp. A couple of quick winks as he explained the situation and she'd be well up to confirming their engagement and convincing George there was no way her man would have strayed. Beryl could be really scary when she chose. OK, he would have to pay for it later, but it would be worth it whatever the price.
'Let me get some clothes on and I'll take you round there,' he said, scrambling to his feet, which George immediately swept from beneath him, sending him crashing back to the ground.
'No, you stay there. I'll talk with this woman without you winking and nodding and fast signing in the corner.'
Shoot! The monster wasn't so simple after all.
But there was always the phone…
Not if you're locked naked on your balcony seven floors up, there wasn't, he thought disconsolately as the boxer slammed the balcony door shut and turned the key in the lock.
Through the locked door he watched his unwelcome visitors make their exit from the flat. He could see the so-called security chain dangling loose. Presumably a single push from George's bull-like shoulder had ripped it from its staple on the wall. He thought of trying to smash the glass panel in the balcony door, but it wasn't worth the bother. After some early fraternal visits from a few of the brothers in Hermsprong, the Rasselas inhabitants had demanded and got shatterproof glass put in all their windows. Height was no disincentive to agile thieves who had a Whitey-like ability to scale the sheer side of the tower block from one balcony to the next. Joe peered down and shuddered at the thought of even making the attempt to descend. He might at a pinch be able to drop down on to the balcony below, but by the time he had persuaded the flat-owners that they shouldn't take the dramatic entry of a stark-naked man into their premises personally, George would almost certainly have arrived at Beryl's.
No, all he could do was wait and hope that her natural intelligence and quick wit would get him off the hook.
Of course there was a strong likelihood that being rousted out of bed by a belligerent boxer at this ungodly hour would make her react to the suggestion that Joe was her fiance with a derisive laugh and unambiguous denial.
In which case George would return…
In which case, dropping onto the balcony below didn't seem quite such a desperate act…
He sat with his back against the railings so that he could watch the main entrance across the living room.
At least he wasn't cold.
Even at this hour the newly risen sun had enough warmth to warn him of another red-hot day in prospect. Which he might or might not live to see.
Oh well. No point worrying.
His mouth opened in a huge yawn. He had after all had a very disturbed night. A few seconds later the old Sixsmith philosophy that, however bad things were, losing sleep over them only made them worse, kicked in and the yawn turned into a gentle snore. Joe was asleep again.
16
Wondrous Regiment
Joe's second awakening was a lot less violent than the first but still fell well short of the ideal which included the warm memory of a good woman and the smell of frying bacon that said good woman had just got up to prepare.
A foot prodded at his ribs. He half opened one eye and looked at it. The foot prodded harder. He didn't mind too much because his first assessment had told him it wasn't a size-thirteen foot, therefore it did not belong to Jurassic George. This foot was shod in a size five or six sensible flat-heeled shoe, and it was attached to the end of a shapely leg wrapped in a black silk stocking. This was interesting. He followed the stocking up with his eyes till it reached the hem of a skirt which in turn led him to some kind of uniform blouse. A nurse. It was a nurse. Meaning the stocking wasn't silk but probably lisle or some such stuff. He must be in hospital. Well, that wasn't bad either. Except what sort of hospital even in the cash-strapped National Health expected its patients to sleep on the floor?
'You going to lie there all day, Joe Sixsmith?' said a voice. A familiar voice.
He opened both eyes fully and took in the face peering down at him.
'Beryl, that you?'
'Yes, it's me and I wish it wasn't. What the hell you playing at, Joe Sixsmith? I just had some gorilla beating on my door and waking all the neighbors, asking if I was your effing fiancee!'
'That would be Jurassic George.'
'I know who it was. I read the sports pages too.'
'So what did you say to him?' asked Joe, struggling to his feet.
'I said if he didn't turn the volume down and the language off I'd punch his lights out,' said Beryl.
Joe looked at her with mingled admiration and sorrow, the first because she was clearly Wonder Woman, the second because he could see no way he could ever deserve her.
'So what did he say?' he asked.
'After he calmed down, he gave me some garbled story about him going to tear your head off because he'd heard you were balling his young and gorgeous girlfriend, and you saying he'd got it wrong 'cos I was your ever- loving fiancee and there was no way you could even look at another woman.'
'And what did you say?'
'I said there was no way any young and gorgeous girl would let you ball her, but in any case you'd be too scared to even think about it 'cos, if you did, I'd be the one to tear your head off. After that he went away and I got dressed. I'm on early shift and I thought I'd better look in here first to find out just what the hell's been going on.'
'Beryl, you are a real star!' said Joe.
He reached forward to give her a grateful hug. She started back, crying, 'Don't even dream about it, not in that state!'
Only now did it occur to Joe that he was stark naked. It was funny, he'd been stark naked with Beryl before and she'd been in a similar condition and they'd both really enjoyed it. But now it was just plain embarrassing.
He moved past her into the living room in search of clothing. At least that was his intention, but Beryl mistook it and retreated before him. The back of the low settee caught her just behind the knees and she fell over it backwards, her legs kicking in the air. Joe rushed forward to help her.
At the same moment, King Rat's PA, the gorgeous Mimi, dressed as if she planned to step right from the plane into the wine-dark Med, rushed through the open door saying, 'Joe, I'm sorry I'm a bit late, we'll need to
