Mr. & Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy: Two Shall Become One

“Order each of them to dig a well on their own lands.” Lizzy spoke from her chair, still intent on her needlework. Both men paused and stared at her.

Darcy glanced at Mr. Keith, who raised his brows and shrugged. “Elizabeth, that would not solve the immediate problem.”

She looked up at the men as if they were impossibly dense and rolled her eyes. “Of course, they would need to fix the current well first. After that, though, they should start working on their individual wells.”

They continued to stare at her with mixed expressions of confusion and patronization. Lizzy sighed, “They are acting like children, so treat them as such. Separate them, take the object of their current tantrum away, and distract them with something else. In this case the arduous chore of digging a well in the frozen ground. That ought to distract them from their petty bickering for several months, and they will be too busy grousing at you to pick on each other.”

She smiled winsomely at their dawning understanding and astonishment. “In addition, you will have to set a deadline and enforce it by destroying the current well, or they will just ignore you.”

Darcy looked at Mr. Keith and they nodded. “Yes, that might just work. Write up a contract, Mr. Keith, and I shall confront them tomorrow. Arrange for the equipment they will need. Is there anything else?”

“No, sir. I will take care of it.”

He left and Darcy peered at his smug spouse. “Proud of yourself, Mrs. Darcy?”

“You would eventually have arrived at the same conclusion, my love, in several years or so.”

At least twice a week, Lizzy spent the morning hours with Mrs. Reynolds. Like Darcy, Mrs. Reynolds was overwhelmingly patient and delighted at the aptness of the new Mistress. Mathematics failed Lizzy, so Darcy handled the accounts as always, but she readily grasped the inner workings of the household staff and their interpersonal relationships. Like her husband, she learned each of their names and made a point always to address them individually.

Unlike her husband, Lizzy was naturally congenial and not as formal with the servants, thus taking the time to familiarize herself with aspects of their personal lives and characters. This added insight greatly assisted her in dealing with troubles as they arose and with moving freely about the manor, thus intensifying her knowledge of the inner workings of Pemberley. Little by little, she assumed a portion of the duties from Mrs. Reynolds.

“Mrs. Reynolds, tell me about the summer festival for the tenants. I would like to reestablish the tradition.”

“Wonderful idea, Mistress! We can easily plan this and the tenants would be delighted. Generally Mrs. Darcy held the event in late June or early July. The planting is primarily done, and it is not terribly hot yet. The festivities were fairly straightforward: a feast and dancing.”

Lizzy was nodding, “Yes, this should be perfect. Mr. Darcy, Miss Darcy, and I will be journeying to Town in April for two months, as you are aware. We can set the date for…” she perused the calendar on her desk, “July tenth? Yes, that is good. I will discuss this with Mr. Darcy. We can detail the menu and agenda before we leave. Excellent! As always, Mrs. Reynolds, I count on your forthrightness and assistance. I still have so much to learn.”

Mrs. Reynolds patted her hand. “You minimize your progress, Madame. I have never seen anyone learn as fast as you have.” Lizzy blushed. “Mr. Darcy is pleased, I can tell.” She stood to leave. “By the way, ask Mr. Darcy about the summer festival the year he was fifteen.” She smiled and left.

Lizzy wasted no time. She entered Darcy’s study to find her husband bent in his chair, mumbling and cursing as he searched for something in the bottom drawer. He did not hear her approach until she was right behind him and spoke.

“May I help?” He jerked up, his mien a mask of consternation until he saw her beloved face and he melted.

“You already have, beloved, by warming my heart before I erupted in a serious temper due to my own disorganization and forgetfulness.”

“Pah! You are perhaps the least disorganized or forgetful man in the world!” She moved around his chair until she faced him, leaning close with her hands resting on his thighs. “I find that if I take my mind momentarily off the dilemma at hand, the answer will spontaneously emerge. You merely need something to distract you, my love. I believe my arrival is fortuitous.” With that proclamation she kissed him, slowly and teasingly playing with his lips.

“Hmmm… You are partially correct, dearest wife, as ideas are materializing in abundance, although none of them solve the prior problem, yet I am no longer concerned.” He whispered against her mouth, grasping her waist to pull her onto his lap.

She smiled and gently bit his lower lip before pulling away. She laughed at his sudden expression of childish petulance and clasped his hands. “Such a baby! Come with me, little boy,” as she tugged him up and led him to the sofa. She sat close to his side, draping her legs over one of his, one hand entangling in his hair as the other dexterously manipulated the knots of his cravat. “There. Is this not preferable? Now you can have your way with me, Mr. Darcy.”

Without hesitation, he did. Kissing thoroughly and caressing where possible while fully clothed, the lovers delighted in a time of rapturous amusement. Darcy’s coats were unbuttoned and Lizzy lovingly fondled his chest while nibbling on his exposed neck, finally murmuring into his ear, “So, enlighten me as to the memorable event surrounding the summer festival when you were fifteen.”

Darcy had been pleasantly attending to his own diversions along Lizzy’s bodice when she spoke. He choked on his startled indrawn breath, coughing and sputtering alarmingly. Lizzy covered her mouth to keep from laughing. “What…” he wheezed, “How did you…” gasp, “Who told you about that?”

“Mrs. Reynolds.”

He groaned and leaned his head back against the wall. “I should dismiss her!”

Lizzy snickered as she moved in to assault his now further visible neck and chest. “Nonsense! I am sure it is in your journal for me to read anyway, so confess, Mr. Darcy.”

“Oh Lord, have mercy; why did I ever marry such a meddlesome pest?”

“Flattery will not save you.” She smiled at him seductively and batted her lashes. “Now, speak!”

“On one condition. If I divulge my secret, then you must do the same. Agreed?” He was grinning.

Lizzy’s eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips speculatively. “I could just read your journal.”

“I can wrest the key from you by force, if need be, likely enjoying myself in the process.”

“Beast! I am sure Mrs. Reynolds will tell me if I ask.”

“Not if I order her not to. I am Master here.” His grin had broadened.

“Oh, alright! Agreed,” she declared with a feigned pout and she stuck her hand out to shake on it, earning a laugh from her husband.

“When I was a young, foolish fifteen, I fancied myself madly in love with Mrs. Langton’s daughter, Eloise. She was seventeen, buxom, blonde, and a notorious flirt.” He was blushing but laughing at the silly memory. “I spied on her whenever I could, which she well knew and used to her advantage to torture me. Wickham figured it out and teased me mercilessly. He was a mere thirteen, but had already cornered a number of the looser girls for kisses and fondles. I found that behavior disgusting, as you know, but I was besotted and reckoned myself pure in my affection.

“He dared me to kiss her and then taunted me with unflattering names. A boy’s ego is easily bruised, so I determined that I would make my move at the festival. It was amazingly easy to arrange, Eloise being the flirt she was and more than willing to accommodate the young Master. I was just beginning to truly enjoy myself when Wickham, the demon, arrived with Vernor, Hughes, Richard, and my parents in tow.”

He groaned and covered his eyes with one large hand, still grinning though, and continued, “The taunts of the gents I could handle, but my parents were aghast. I was forced to publicly apologize to Eloise and to her parents. Mr. Langton was still alive then and he dwarfed his wife, if that gives you any idea of how intimidating a presence he was. I have never been so humiliated in all my life. My mother did not speak to me for a week, and my father lashed me with a switch so as to render me unable to sit for several days.” He peered at his giggling and tremulous wife through his fingers. “The kiss was nice, though.”

“Ha!” she barked and attacked his ticklish rib cage with her fingers, dissolving them both in laughter.

“Mercy!” he pleaded breathlessly. “Now it is your turn to confess, Mrs. Darcy. Your first crush and kiss.”

“I am afraid you shall be hideously disappointed, my dear. I do not have a good story to tell. My first crush