ruled that out, which is why they considered the hairs and the shoe print to be real evidence. We also agreed that it wasn’t such a good time to be Sarah Glokkmann or Arnold Swydecker.
“All politicians are the same,” Mrs. Berns said. “Just door-to-door salesmen with a wider audience. Don’t trust a one of them.”
“I dunno. Swydecker seemed different.”
“You mean different from the other unfaithful husbands you’ve known?”
“I’m not a fan of his alleged personal choices. I’m talking about his politics. He really seemed sincere and dedicated.”
“I bet he did. Say, I’ve got a bridge I’d like to sell you. It crosses from West Battle Lake to the Mississippi, and underneath lives a magical troll who poops diamonds and blueberries. Good deal, going fast.”
I changed the subject. “Your fiance meeting you at the Sunset?”
“If he knows what’s good for him.”
I still didn’t know how I’d broach the subject of Bernard’s checkered past, but I was formulating a plan that might involve a hint of blackmail. “I’ve been thinking that it would be a good idea for me to interview him.”
“What for?” She asked. She was studying me suspiciously.
“To completely rule him out as a suspect. And to find out why he didn’t like Bob Webber.”
“Seems your goals are in opposition to each other.”
I’d been thinking the same thing. “Knowledge is power.”
“Knowledge is shit compared to a Taser when it comes to power. I dare you to think your way out of an electrical volt designed to make you cry out your feet.”
“Nevertheless,” I said, trying to get her back on topic. “Do you think I could have some time with Bernard? We don’t know a lot about him, you know.”
She beetled her brows. If she did in fact know about his past, a possibility I’d entertained, she wasn’t letting on. “Bernard and I are going out for a fancy dinner tonight to celebrate my homecoming. Why don’t you join us?”
That was too easy. “The catch?”
“His name is Johnny Leeson.”
My face grew hot, and she chortled. “I don’t know if that’s shame or anticipation on your face, girlie. Knowing you, probably both.”
“Our night at the motel didn’t go as well as planned.”
“Really? Did you know that cows have four legs? Because that’s another unexpected bit of information I like people to know.”
“It’s even worse than you think. I threw up.” I shuddered as I relived the scene. “He saw it. He held my hair.”
She whistled. “Were you naked or in clothes?”
“In clothes!” I said indignantly.
“Thank God for small favors. Nothing less attractive than a naked girl throwing up. There’s no recovery from that.”
“You think I can recover from this?”
“You want to?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly.
“Christ, I don’t care. I just love to watch you make a fool of yourself. So I called Johnny this morning to say you were having dinner with me and Bernard tonight and you wanted him to join us. And if you want to talk to Bernard, you’ll have to show.”
“But I’m only talking to Bernard to help you!”
“That’ll teach you to trust an old lady. Now pull up in the handicapped spot right there. If these crutches don’t buy me better parking, then I’m going back to the wheelchair.”
18
“You look beautiful.”
“Huhn?” I swiveled in the narrow entryway. I hadn’t seen Johnny approach.
“How are you feeling?” He looked concerned, handsome, emotionally vulnerable.
I cleared my throat. “Better.” I told myself not to meet his eyes, not to look up into those hypnotizing blue seapools, but I couldn’t help it. We locked gazes and the charge was electric. “Actually, I feel like the biggest loser in town. I can’t believe you saw me throw up.”
He smiled and grabbed my hand. I wanted to pull away, but didn’t. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Some of it came out my nose.”
The corner of his mouth quirked up. He didn’t disagree.
“I’ve decided we’re a doomed relationship and sworn off men forever. Well, at least non-fiberglass ones.”
He squeezed my hand and scanned the restaurant for Mrs. Berns. “Give me a chance.”
“I did.”
“Give me another one.”
I was saved from a response by the sound of Mrs. Berns’ yell. “Over here, lovebirds!”
The whole restaurant turned. I tried to slide my hand out of Johnny’s, but he wouldn’t let me. He walked confidently to the table, dragging me behind like toilet paper on his shoe.
“How’re you feeling, Mrs. Berns?”
“Not as fine as you look, Johnny Leeson.” She was right. The man wore blue jeans like a spoon wore honey, and I could see the cut of his sculpted shoulders through his shirt. “Have you met my fiance, Mr. Bernard Mink?”
Johnny held out his hand. “Pleased to meet you, sir.”
Bernard shook it but didn’t acknowledge me. I wondered if Mrs. Berns had told him I wanted to talk. Actually, studying them side by side, I realized they weren’t a bad-looking couple. With their mouths closed, you might be tricked into believing they were your average retired pair setting off into the sunset in their RV. That is, if you could overlook the nasty bruises turning green on their faces and the cast on Mrs. Berns’ leg. Bernard was considerably younger than his date, but no spring chicken. He wore a nice polo shirt over a pair of khakis. Mrs. Berns had slipped on elastic-waisted pants and a pink and lime green blouse accented by plastic old-lady jewelry. The only good thing about a wedding between her and Bernard is that afterward, she could go back to dressing with the pizzazz she was known for. But I wasn’t going to let it get that far.
Johnny pulled out my chair and asked if I’d like something to drink.
“Water’s fine,” I said. The restaurant had a simple and welcoming cabin-and-fresh-flowers decor, and a faint jazz tune encouraged conversation without overwhelming it.
“As I was saying,” Bernard said to Mrs. Berns, resuming their conversation, “for all intensive purposes, the sooner the wedding, the better.”
“For all intents and purposes,” I said.
“Exactly,” he said.
It was too much. “You two are trying to get married sooner than Halloween? That’s not even two weeks away.” I gave Mrs. Berns warning eyes. Forget avoiding stressing her, or even me wanting to get her back in her sassy clothes. I’d rather have her dress like a granny into infinity than bind herself to this loser any sooner than necessary. I’d have to hurry my plan, but my hands were tied until I could get Bernard alone.
“You
