Even in her sated state, she seemed to sense the shift in him. She righted herself, using the wall to regain her balance. She quickly brushed down her skirt, her sleepy bliss replaced by flustered awkwardness.
He didn’t want that.
“Poppy,” he said, but she cut him off.
“We’ll just blame this on the photos,” she said, bending down to snatch up her panties. Her movements were jerky as she struggled to tug the tiny piece of clothing over her ballet flats and up her legs.
“I think it was more than the photos,” he said, but she didn’t seem to be listening as she straightened herself.
“We should probably go.” She wouldn’t meet his gaze. Nor did she wait for a response, heading to the door, although her escape was probably not as speedy and graceful as she’d have liked. He could see her legs were still shaky.
He caught up with her, putting a hand to her back to steady her. She flinched slightly at the touch, and he felt exactly like the cad she’d dubbed him the other night.
They made their way back to the exhibition floor. Killian left Poppy waiting by the doors as he went to gather her coat and purse from the coat check.
As he walked back toward her, there was no missing her slightly mussed look and the blush coloring her skin. She looked like a woman who’d been well loved. Unfortunately, she also looked like a woman who was painfully embarrassed by that fact.
Neither spoke as they headed back to the T. As the train began to move, the clatter and rock of the car just seemed to emphasize the silence between them.
Killian couldn’t stand it.
“Poppy,” he said, turning on the hard, narrow subway seat to look at her. She fiddled with the strap of her purse, refusing to look at him.
“Please look at me,” he asked.
She met his gaze, her dark eyes filled with embarrassment and something that looked far too much like pain.
He wished he hadn’t taken her up on the roof. But his need for her had overwhelmed him. Now he just wanted to pull her against him and soothe away the hurt he saw in her eyes.
“Don’t you dare apologize,” she warned.
Her words startled him, and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.
“I’m not going to,” he assured her. “I loved every minute of it.”
She blushed, her gaze dropping back to her purse. She plucked at a loose thread on the stitching of the strap.
He caught her chin, bringing her gaze back up to him.
“I’m just a little shocked at my behavior,” he said, which wasn’t strictly true. It was more his emotions than his actions.
“Me too,” she said softly, then added, “I mean my behavior too. You know, not yours. I don’t know if that’s your usual behavior or not. Not that I’m saying …”
She just let her sentence trail off, realizing her point was sort of made, and further explanation wasn’t helping.
He smiled slightly, finding her adorable.
Her gaze dropped to his lips, and instantly he was aroused again. How did she have this effect on him? He was good at self-control. Well, he usually was.
They both fell silent again, remaining that way the rest of the trip home.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. He’d been told in no uncertain terms that he couldn’t become involved with Poppy. Nor could he allow her to have feelings for him. He wasn’t sure what her feelings were, but he sure as hell felt he was having them for her. Funny, the one rule he wouldn’t have minded having to follow was the very one he’d managed to break.
This was not good.
But Killian wasn’t going to let them leave each other without saying something. They’d had too many nights end this way.
“Poppy,” he said, catching her wrist to stop her as she strode toward her apartment door. “I—I really like you.”
Poppy fought the urge to cringe.
Instead of waiting for him to continue, she decided she’d rather beat him to the punch.
“I like you too, Killian. And I understand this was just something that happened. Spurred on by the erotic photos, maybe even fueled by the idea that we both want a relationship.”
Killian nodded, although she didn’t get the feeling he agreed. But then again, she couldn’t read what he was thinking. Those golden eyes of his could be beautiful—and inscrutable.
But she didn’t let her uncertainty slow down her words. She was going to deal with the rejection in her own way, not wait for him to do it.
“We are both young—and I know I haven’t—” She hesitated, feeling awkward admitting her lack of intimacy over the years. “Well, things just—happened. I don’t think we need to dissect it, do we?”
Killian shook his head, but again she wasn’t sure he necessarily agreed with her.
“We just had some fun.” She paused. “Well, I had fun.”
Killian smiled then, and she had no trouble assessing that particular look. In fact, the hunger in his eyes made her in-sides zing back to full awareness of him.
“Oh, I definitely had fun,” he said.
She nodded, but a smile didn’t quite reach her lips. She could pretend she was cool and collected about this, but she couldn’t be lighthearted and flirty. Not right now.
Never, if she was smart. Dabbling with a man like Killian, thinking she could have casual sex, and not start feeling too much, was dangerous business.
“So it’s all good,” she said with a decisive nod. “It was a fun and unexpected night. I’m fine. You’re fine.”
His smile faded at her tone, but again he nodded.
“As long as you’re fine.”
She managed a small smile. “I am. Good night, Killian.”
She turned then and unlocked her door. She didn’t look back as she stepped inside.
Unfortunately, she had little time to gather herself.
Daisy popped out of the kitchen. “You’re home early.”
Poppy tried to muster the same calm she’d always managed over the past four years, hiding her true feelings, keeping her emotions in check. But tonight that composure was just somewhere out of reach. She attempted a carefree smile, knowing it fell short.
“The showing only went until nine. And it was—pretty dull.”
Daisy nodded, but Poppy could tell she was trying to read her expression. Poppy forced another smile.
“I got my paper done, and I was just getting a snack before heading to bed. Want some?” Daisy held out a bowl of popcorn.
“No thanks.” The truth was Poppy couldn’t think of eating. Her stomach was churning with nerves, confusion and something that still managed to feel like excitement.
Daisy took her popcorn and headed into the living room, collapsing on the couch. She curled her legs under her and reached for the television remote. The theme music to a popular sitcom filled the apartment.
“Are you going to watch
“Yeah,” she said, “I’m just going to—go change.”
“Hurry. It’s a new one.”
Poppy walked to her bedroom. She closed the door and pressed her back against it. She allowed herself a
