New Moon

Was I dying again, then? I didn't like it—this wasn't as good as the last time. It was only dark now, nothing worth looking at here. The sound of the crashing waves faded into the black and became a quiet, even whoosh that sounded like it was coming from the inside of my ears…

'Bella?' Jacob asked, his voice still tense, but not as wild as before. 'Bells, honey, can you hear me?'

The contents of my head swished and rolled sickeningly, like they'd joined the rough water…

'How long has she been unconscious?' someone else asked.

The voice that was not Jacob's shocked me, jarred me into a more focused awareness.

I realized that I was still. There was no tug of the current on me—the heaving was inside my head. The surface under me was flat and motionless. It felt grainy against my bare arms.

'I don't know,' Jacob reported, still frantic. His voice was very close. Hands—so warm they had to be his— brushed wet hair from my cheeks. 'A few minutes? It didn't take long to tow her to the beach.'

The quiet whooshing inside my ears was not the waves—it was the air moving in and out of my lungs again. Each breath burned—the passageways were as raw as if I'd scrubbed them out with steel wool. But I was breathing.

And I was freezing. A thousand sharp, icy beads were striking my face and arms, making the cold worse.

'She's breathing. She'll come around. We should get her out of the cold, though. I don't like the color she's turning…' I recognized Sam's voice this time.

'You think it's okay to move her?'

'She didn't hurt her back or anything when she fell?'

'I don't know.'

They hesitated.

I tried to open my eyes. It took me a minute, but then I could see the dark, purple clouds, flinging the freezing rain down at me. 'Jake?' I croaked.

Jacob's face blocked out the sky. 'Oh!' he gasped, relief washing over his features. His eyes were wet from the rain. 'Oh, Bella! Are you okay? Can you hear me? Do you hurt anywhere?'

'J-Just m-my throat,' I stuttered, my lips quivering from the cold.

'Let's get you out of here, then,' Jacob said. He slid his arms under me and lifted me without effort—like picking up an empty box. His chest was bare and warm; he hunched his shoulders to keep the rain off of me. My head lolled over his arm. I stared vacantly back toward the furious water, beating the sand behind him.

'You got her?' I heard Sam ask.

'Yeah, I'll take it from here. Get back to the hospital. I'll join you later. Thanks, Sam.'

My head was still rolling. None of his words sunk in at first. Sam didn't answer. There was no sound, and I wondered if he were already gone.

The water licked and writhed up the sand after us as Jacob carried me away, like it was angry that I'd escaped. As I stared wearily, a spark of color caught my unfocused eyes—a small flash of fire was dancing on the black water, far out in the bay. The image made no sense, and I wondered how conscious I really was. My head swirled with the memory of the black, churning water—of being so lost that I couldn't find up or down. So lost… but somehow Jacob…

'How did you find me?' I rasped.

'I was searching for you,' he told me. He was half-jogging through the rain, up the beach toward the road. 'I followed the tire tracks to your truck, and then I heard you scream…' He shuddered. 'Why would you jump, Bella? Didn't you notice that it's turning into a hurricane out here? Couldn't you have waited for me?' Anger filled his tone as the relief faded.

'Sorry,' I muttered. 'It was stupid.'

'Yeah, it was really stupid,' he agreed, drops of rain shaking free of his hair as he nodded. 'Look, do you mind saving the stupid stuff for when I'm around? I won't be able to concentrate if I think you're jumping off cliffs behind my back.'

'Sure,' I agreed. 'No problem.' I sounded like a chain-smoker. I tried to clear my throat—and then winced; the throat-clearing felt like stabbing a knife down there. 'What happened today? Did you… find her?' It was my turn to shudder, though I wasn't so cold here, right next to his ridiculous body heat.

Jacob shook his head. He was still more running than walking as he headed up the road to his house. 'No. She took off into the water—the bloodsuckers have the advantage there. That's why I raced home—I was afraid she was going to double back swimming. You spend so much time on the beach…' He trailed off, a catch in his throat.

'Sam came back with you… is everyone else home, too?' I hoped they weren't still out searching for her.

'Yeah. Sort of.'

I tried to read his expression, squinting into the hammering rain. His eyes were tight with worry or pain.

The words that hadn't made sense before suddenly did. 'You said… hospital. Before, to Sam. Is someone hurt? Did she fight you?' My voice jumped up an octave, sounding strange with the hoarseness.

'No, no. When we got back, Em was waiting with the news. It's Harry Clearwater. Harry had a heart attack this morning.'

'Harry?' I shook my head, trying to absorb what he was staying. 'Oh, no! Does Charlie know?'

'Yeah. He's over there, too, with my dad.'

'Is Harry going to be okay?'

Jacob's eyes tightened again. 'It doesn't look so great right now.'

Abruptly, I felt really sick with guilt—felt truly horrible about the brainless cliff dive. Nobody needed to be worrying about me right now. What a stupid time to be reckless.

'What can I do?' I asked.

At that moment the rain stopped. I hadn't realized we were already back to Jacob's house until he walked through the door. The storm pounded against the roof.

'You can stay here,' Jacob said as he dumped me on the short couch. 'I mean it— right here I'll get you some dry clothes.'

I let my eyes adjust to the dark room while Jacob banged around in his bedroom. The cramped front room seemed so empty without Billy, almost desolate. It was strangely ominous—probably just because I knew where he was.

Jacob was back in seconds. He threw a pile of gray cotton at me. 'These will be huge on you, but it's the best I've got. I'll, er, step outside so you can change.'

'Don't go anywhere. I'm too tired to move yet. Just stay with me.'

Jacob sat on the floor next to me, his back against the couch. I wondered when he'd slept last. He looked as exhausted as I felt.

He leaned his head on the cushion next to mine and yawned. 'Guess I could rest for a minute…'

His eyes closed. I let mine slide shut, too.

Poor Harry. Poor Sue. I knew Charlie was going to be beside himself. Harry was one of his best friends. Despite Jake's negative take on things, I hoped fervently that Harry would pull through. For Charlie's sake. For Sue's and Leah's and Seth's…

Billy's sofa was right next to the radiator, and I was warm now, despite my soaked clothes. My lungs ached in a way that pushed me toward unconsciousness rather than keeping me awake. I wondered vaguely if it was wrong to sleep… or was I getting drowning mixed up with concussions… ? Jacob began softly snoring, and the sound of it soothed like a lullaby. I fell asleep quickly.

For the first time in a very long time, my dream was just a normal dream. Just a blurred wandering through old memories—blinding bright visions of the Phoenix sun, my mother's face, a ramshackle tree house, a faded quilt, a wall of mirrors, a flame on the black water… I forgot each of them as soon as the picture changed.

The last picture was the only one that stuck in my head. It was meaningless—just a set on a stage. A balcony at night, a painted moon hanging in the sky. I watched the girl in her nightdress lean on the railing and talk to herself.

Meaningless… but when I slowly struggled back to consciousness, Juliet was on my mind.

Jacob was still asleep; he'd slumped down to the floor and his breathing was deep and even. The house was