New Moon

The words were awkward, stilted because of her embarrassment, but they seemed sincere.

'Of course, Rosalie,' I mumbled, grasping at any chance to make her hate me a little less. 'It's not your fault at all. I'm the one who jumped off the damn cliff. Of course I forgive you.'

The words came out like mush.

'It doesn't count until she's conscious, Rose,' Emmett chuckled.

'I'm conscious,' I said; it just sounded like a garbled sigh.

'Let her sleep,' Edward insisted, but his voice was a little warmer.

It was quiet then, except for the gentle thrum of the engine. I must have fallen asleep, because it seemed like seconds later when the door opened and Edward was carrying me from the car. My eyes wouldn't open. At first I thought we were still at the airport.

And then I heard Charlie.

'Bella!' he shouted from some distance.

'Charlie,' I mumbled, trying to shake off the stupor.

'Shh,' Edward whispered. 'It's okay; you're home and safe. Just sleep.'

'I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here.' Charlie bellowed at Edward, his voice much closer now.

'Stop it, Dad,' I groaned. He didn't hear me.

'What's wrong with her?' Charlie demanded.

'She's just very tired, Charlie,' Edward assured him quietly. 'Please let her rest.'

'Don't tell me what to do!' Charlie yelled. 'Give her to me. Get your hands off her!'

Edward tried to pass me to Charlie, but I clung to him with locked, tenacious fingers. I could feel my dad yanking on my arm.

'Cut it out, Dad,' I said with more volume. I managed to drag my lids back to stare at Charlie with bleary eyes. 'Be mad at me.'

We were in front of my house. The front door was standing open. The cloud cover overhead was too thick to guess at a time of day.

'You bet I will be,' Charlie promised. 'Get inside.' i''Kay. Let me down,' I sighed.

Edward set me on my feet. I could see that I was upright, but I couldn't feel my legs. I trudged forward anyway, until the sidewalk swirled up toward my face. Edward's arms caught me before I hit the concrete.

'Just let me get her upstairs,' Edward said. 'Then I'll leave.'

'No,' I cried, panicking. I hadn't got my answers yet. He had to stay for at least that much, didn't he?

'I won't be far,' Edward promised, whispering so low in my ear that Charlie didn't have a hope of hearing.

I didn't hear Charlie answer, but Edward headed into the house. My open eyes only made it till the stairs. The last thing I felt was Edward's cool hands prying my fingers loose from his shirt.

23 THE TRUTH

I HAD THE SENSE THAT I'D BEEN ASLEEP FOR A VERY long time—my body was stiff, like I hadn't moved once through all that time, either. My mind was dazed and slow; strange, colorful dreams—dreams and nightmares—swirled dizzily around the inside of my head. They were so vivid. The horrible and the heavenly, all mixed together into a bizarre jumble. There was sharp impatience and fear, both part of that frustrating dream where your feet can't move fast enough… And there were plenty of monsters, red-eyed fiends that were all the more ghastly for their genteel civility. The dream was still strong—I could even remember the names. But the strongest, clearest part of the dream was not the horror. It was the angel that was most clear.

It was hard to let him go and wake up. This dream did not want to be shoved away into the vault of dreams I refused to revisit. I struggled with it as my mind became more alert, focusing on reality. I couldn't remember what day of the week it was, but I was sure Jacob or school or work or something was waiting for me. I inhaled deeply, wondering how to face another day.

Something cold touched my forehead with the softest pressure.

I squeezed my eyes more tightly shut. I was still dreaming, it seemed, and it felt abnormally real. I was so close to waking… any second now, and it would be gone.

But I realized that it felt too real, too real to be good for me. The stone arms I imagined wrapped around me were far too substantial. If I let this go any further, I'd be sorry for it later. With a resigned sigh, I wrenched back my eyelids to dispel the illusion.

'Oh!' I gasped, and threw my fists over my eyes.

Well, clearly, I'd gone too far; it must have been a mistake to let my imagination get so out of hand. Okay, so 'let' was the wrong word. I'd forced it to get out of hand—pretty much stalked my hallucinations—and now my mind had snapped.

It took less than half a second for me to realize that, as long as I was truly insane now, I might as well enjoy the delusions while they were pleasant.

I opened my eyes again—and Edward was still there, his perfect face just inches away from mine.

'Did I frighten you?' His low voice was anxious. This was very good, as delusions went. The face, the voice, the scent, everything—it was so much better than drowning. The beautiful figment of my imagination watched my changing expressions, with alarm. His irises were pitch-black, with bruise-like shadows under them. This surprised me; my hallucinatory Edwards were usually better fed.

I blinked twice, desperately trying to remember the last thing that I was sure was real. Alice was part of my dream, and I wondered if she had really come back at all, or if that was just the preamble. I thought she'd returned the day I'd nearly drowned…

'Oh, crap' I croaked. My throat was thick with sleeping.

'What's wrong, Bella?'

I frowned at him unhappily. His face was even more anxious than before.

'I'm dead, right?' I moaned. 'I did drown. Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie.'

Edward frowned, too. 'You're not dead.'

'Then why am I not waking up?' I challenged, raising my eyebrows.

'You are awake, Bella.'

I shook my head. 'Sure, sure. That's what you want me to think. And then it will be worse when I do wake up. If I wake up, which I won't, because I'm dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jake…' I trailed off in horror at what I had done.

'I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare.' His short-lived smile was grim. 'But I can't imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell. Did you commit many murders while I was away?'

I grimaced. 'Obviously not. If I was in hell, you wouldn't be with me.'

He sighed.

My head was getting clearer. My eyes flickered away from his face—unwillingly—for one second, to the dark, open window, and then back to him. I started to remember details… and I felt a faint, unfamiliar blush warm the skin over my cheekbones as I slowly realized that Edward was really, truly here with me, and I was wasting time being an idiot.

'Did all of that really happen, then?' It was almost impossible to reassign my dream as reality. I couldn't wrap my head around the concept.

'That depends.' Edward's smile was still hard. 'If you're referring to us nearly being massacred in Italy, then, yes.'

'How strange,' I mused. 'I really went to Italy. Did you know I'd never been farther east than Albuquerque?'

He rolled his eyes. 'Maybe you should go back to sleep. You're not coherent.'

'I'm not tired anymore.' It was all coming clear now. 'What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?'