I left the circle, moving toward the west so that I could turn my back on him.
I ran away from them, trying very hard not to think about what was next. Instead, I concentrated on my memories of the long wolf months, of letting the humanity bleed out of me until I was more animal than man. Living in the moment, eating when hungry, sleeping when tired, drinking when thirsty, and running—running just to run. Simple desires, simple answers to those desires. Pain came in easily managed forms. The pain of hunger. The pain of cold ice under your paws. The pain of cutting claws when dinner got feisty. Each pain had a simple answer, a clear action to end that pain.
Not like being human.
Yet, as soon as I was in jogging distance of my house, I shifted back into my human body. I needed to be able to think in privacy.
I untied my shorts and yanked them on, already running for the house.
I’d done it. I’d hidden what I was thinking and now it was too late for Sam to stop me. He couldn’t hear me now.
Sam had made a very clear ruling. The pack would not attack the Cullens. Okay.
He hadn’t mentioned an individual acting alone.
Nope, the pack wasn’t attacking anyone today.
But I was.
9 SURE AS HELL DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING
I didn’t really plan to say goodbye to my father.
After all, one quick call to Sam and the game would be up. They’d cut me off and push me back. Probably try to make me angry, or even hurt me—somehow force me to phase so that Sam could lay down a new law.
But Billy was expecting me, knowing I’d be in some kind of state. He was in the yard, just sitting there in his wheelchair with his eyes right on the spot where I came through the trees. I saw him judge my direction—headed straight past the house to my homemade garage.
“Got a minute, Jake?”
I skidded to a stop. I looked at him and then toward the garage.
“C’mon kid. At least help me inside.”
I gritted my teeth but decided that he’d be more likely to cause trouble with Sam if I didn’t lie to him for a few minutes.
“Since when do you need help, old man?”
He laughed his rumbling laugh. “My arms are tired. I pushed myself all the way here from Sue’s.”
“It’s downhill. You coasted the whole way.”
I rolled his chair up the little ramp I’d made for him and into the living room.
“Caught me. Think I got up to about thirty miles per hour. It was great.”
“You’re gonna wreck that chair, you know. And then you’ll be dragging yourself around by your elbows.”
“Not a chance. It’ll be your job to carry me.”
“You won’t be going many places.”
Billy put his hands on the wheels and steered himself to the fridge. “Any food left?”
“You got me. Paul was here all day, though, so probably not.”
Billy sighed. “Have to start hiding the groceries if we’re gonna avoid starvation.”
“Tell Rachel to go stay at his place.”
Billy’s joking tone vanished, and his eyes got soft. “We’ve only had her home a few weeks. First time she’s been here in a long time. It’s hard—the girls were older than you when your mom passed. They have more trouble being in this house.”
“I know.”
Rebecca hadn’t been home once since she got married, though she did have a good excuse. Plane tickets from Hawaii were pretty pricey. Washington State was close enough that Rachel didn’t have the same defense. She’d taken classes straight through the summer semesters, working double shifts over the holidays at some café on campus. If it hadn’t been for Paul, she probably would have taken off again real quick. Maybe that was why Billy wouldn’t kick him out.
“Well, I’m going to go work on some stuff. . . .” I started for the back door.
“Wait up, Jake. Aren’t you going to tell me what happened? Do I have to call Sam for an update?”
I stood with my back to him, hiding my face.
“Nothing happened. Sam’s giving them a bye. Guess we’re all just a bunch of leech lovers now.”
“Jake . . .”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Are you leaving, son?”
The room was quiet for a long time while I decided how to say it.
“Rachel can have her room back. I know she hates that air mattress.”
“She’d rather sleep on the floor than lose you. So would I.”
I snorted.
“Jacob, please. If you need… a break. Well, take it. But not so long again. Come back.”
“Maybe. Maybe my gig will be weddings. Make a cameo at Sam’s, then Rachel’s. Jared and Kim might come first, though. Probably ought to have a suit or something.”
“Jake, look at me.”
I turned around slowly. “What?”
He stared into my eyes for a long minute. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t really have a specific place in mind.”
He cocked his head to the side, and his eyes narrowed. “Don’t you?”
We stared each other down. The seconds ticked by.
“Jacob,” he said. His voice was strained. “Jacob, don’t. It’s not worth it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Leave Bella and the Cullens be. Sam is right.”
I stared at him for a second, and then I crossed the room in two long strides. I grabbed the phone and disconnected the cable from the box and the jack. I wadded the gray cord up in the palm of my hand.
“Bye, Dad.”
“Jake, wait—,” he called after me, but I was out the door, running.
The motorcycle wasn’t as fast as running, but it was more discreet. I wondered how long it would take Billy to wheel himself down to the store and then get someone on the phone who could get a message to Sam. I’d bet Sam was still in his wolf form. The problem would be if Paul came back to our place anytime soon. He could phase in a second and let Sam know what I was doing.…
