pretended not to hear.
Because the truth is, after seeing all that I had, I could no longer find it within me to land.
I’d suddenly become aware of something I’d failed to see before.
The earth kept spinning.
People kept loving, and laughing, and breathing.
Everyone remained busy with the busy-making business of living.
And not one of them even sensed my existence.
Not one of them even knew I still walked among them.
Not to mention how it was time to face the fact that even the people who had known me — my friends and teachers and stuff — well, they’d already moved on. Already moved away from me, and on with their own lives — having reduced me to a small, packed-away memory of a poor, unfortunate, twelve-year-old girl whose life was abruptly cut short. Not wanting to dwell on my loss any longer than necessary, lest it make them ponder their own ever-shrinking existences.
And while I knew Ever missed me, as did my aunt Sabine, as far as everyone else was concerned, well, the number of people who even still thought of me on the rarest occasion was dwindling down to only a few.
I closed my eyes tightly, feeling that awful burn threatening to spill out the sides, as I took a moment to quickly list all of the very good and valid reasons why I had absolutely no plausible motive to cry.
1. I felt more alive than ever, despite my current state of invisibility.
2. I had just completed my task, Bodhi completed his, and the two of us together had truly helped our fellow souls and done something good.
3. I was flying! Soaring over a part of the world I’d always wanted to see, and to make it even better, my dog was sailing and swooping through the clouds right along with me.
4. My guide turned out to be not nearly as big of a dork as I’d first pegged him to be, which also meant he might not be quite so horrible to work with in the future. Not to mention how I just might’ve learned a very important lesson about judging people based solely on their appearance.
Or maybe not.
That last bit would remain to be seen.
And just as I was thinking these things, my eyes still shut tightly, blocking everything out of my sight, Bodhi swooped up from behind me and yelled, “Hey, Riley — watch out!”
My eyes snapped open, only to find myself soaring head-on into a tall building made of the kind of glass that reflects everything around it.
And I was struck.
Not by fear, since I knew I was in no danger, I’d just simply sail right through it if I failed to stop or slow down.
No, the truth is, I was struck by me.
Struck by the sight of me.
By the way my whole body glowed in a way that it had never done before.
Glowed in the way cheerleader girl’s had.
Glowed in a similar way to Bodhi’s and everyone else’s I saw on that stage.
And even though my glow wasn’t anywhere near as bright as theirs I still shone.
There was no denying it.
I swerved to the right, narrowly avoiding crashing smack through my own image at the very last second, before swooping, making a big, loopy U-turn, and confronting myself once again.
Seeing it all laid out before me plain as day.
My smallish, slim body, my practically sunken, flat chest, my lank blond hair with the bangs that fell into bright blue eyes that flanked the beginnings of what swooped down to be an undeniably semi-stubby nose. But my cheeks were widened and flushed as a big toothy grin spread across my face, as I continued to stare at the brilliant, pale greenish glow that shimmered and danced all around me.
“You see it?” Bodhi said, coming up right beside me, his smile almost as big as mine.
I nodded, so struck by my appearance, at first I couldn’t speak. Having to clear my throat a bunch of times before I could utter, “Yeah, I see it. But what does it mean?” Glancing at him briefly before focusing back on this sparkling new version of me.
“It means you got your glow on. ” He smiled, hovering right there alongside me. “It means you’re on your way.”
Even though I initially wanted to stop, and maybe even pick up some souvenirs for my family (still don’t know how I would’ve handled the actual logistics of that, but it seemed like a good idea at the time), after seeing my glowing reflection, after listening to Bodhi explain that there are many different levels to the Here & Now, and how each one just gets better and better than the one just before it, and how my new pale-green glow clearly marked me as a bona fide member of the level 1.5 team, and that if I kept up the good work, I’d be transcending that color and level in no time at all, going on to glow in a variety of colors, each of them representing a higher and higher sphere — after he explained all of that, I no longer felt the need to land.
London was a busy city.
Too busy for me.
And to be honest, I’d grown pretty weary of the spying life anyway.
Of existing vicariously through the living.
Especially now that I was finally clued in to the irony of it all — of how my life would only get richer and richer even though to all those below I was buried and dead.
But more importantly, for the first time in a long time, I had somewhere important to be.
For the first time in a long time, I had no need to live through someone else’s experiences. Not when it was so clearly time to start claiming my own.
“Let’s head back,” I said, at first a little shaken by my decision, though it was soon overruled by eager anticipation. Knowing I’d be back to visit the earth plane again, sooner rather than later considering how many more ghosts it was my job to cross over, but for now, I just wanted to celebrate my victory in the one place in which I truly belonged. “Let’s just go home. ” I smiled, soaring ahead and instinctively knowing just how to get there.
Occasionally gazing down at the earth plane as I soared through the clouds, knowing that just like all of the people rushing around right below me, I too had somewhere important to be.
