“They seemed okay,” he told me, vaguely. “They were just being guys.”
But he'd let go of my hand and was walking quickly through the field, almost as if he was on his own. I kept up with him anyway, feeling my eyes starting to tear up at what I knew was the beginning of the end of our sweet time together.
It was the only normal relationship I'd ever had.
“Tim, that Tommy kid was my old boyfriend,” I admitted. “The one I already told you about. I don't want anything to do with him, or any of them, now that I'm with you. Can we just forget we ran into them?”
He stopped then. And gave me a weird little look.
“Sure,” he said, nodding slowly. “No problem. Anyway, I've got to get home, so I'll see you around.”
“Tim…!”
But the tall dark-haired boy I'd been so intent on making into my one real boyfriend ever just turned away and walked off without another word.
Or even a look back.
Leaving me standing alone in that field, crying my eyes out.
CHAPTER 17
The three idiot 12-year-old boys who'd been the cause of my untimely break-up with Tim had apparently been watching our little drama unfold from where they'd run into us in the middle of the field.
“Hey, Maureen,” Tommy said, walking up behind me as I watched my ex-boyfriend turn the corner at the far street and disappear. “Where'shegoing?”
All innocent, like.
I turned around to face the three of them, my eyes blurry with tears, enraged at what they'd done to me. They'd all betrayed me in the worst possible way, three older 6th-grade boys I'd always given open access to my entire body.
I mean, I'd let them doanythingsexual they'd wanted to me! And here they'd turned against me.
“You goddamn fuckers!” I screamed, shaking so hard I thought I'd fall right down at their feet. “You did that on purpose!” And I just started crying so hard I couldn't even see, just stood there like an idiot myself. “I really liked him! I really did, and you assholes ruined it!”
The sudden shock all three of them felt at my crying hysterically and screaming at them was instantly apparent. They went from stunned dead silence to all three of them apologizing and trying to calm me down.
“Maureen…!” Tommy blurted. “We're sorry, we're sorry! We thought he was just some dumb guy!”
Randy and Keith were every bit as surprised at my outburst.
“We were just kidding around,” Randy said, trying to take my hand. I snatched it back from him. “Honest!” he said. “We thought you'd think it was funny. Come on, Maureen, you're our favorite girl in the whole world!”
“Yeah, right,” I sniffled. “Because I let you fuck me.”
Tommy crossed his arms and stood just a little straighter at my comment.
“Hardly,” he told me. “You know we're all crazy about you.”
“Drop dead!”
“Wearecrazy about you!” Keith said. “You're the coolest girl any of us know! You say 'fucking' or 'pussy' or 'cock' like it's nothing. And you're the best-looking girl we know, too, more beautiful than any girl in our whole grade.”
Randy said, “Maureen, you're the best-looking girl in our gradeandyour grade, or anyone else at St. Katherine's.”
I knew they were just trying to stop my crying.
“You're all crazy,” I told them. “I know I'm not beautiful, not like Noelle Henderson or the other cheerleaders she hangs around with. Stop lying just to try making me feel better-”
Weirdly, all three boys suddenly stopped talking and just stared at me.
“What…?” I said, wiping at my eyes. “What are you morons looking at?”
“Maureen…” Tommy started, shaking his head. “Are you fucking insane? You're the best-looking girl in the whole goddamn school. You're even more gorgeous than Noelle, but you're just younger. Why do you think everybody's in love with you? You're like a little movie star…”
Now he was making me even more annoyed.
“You're not funny.”
Randy and Keith were suddenly shaking their heads and walking back and forth, like around me, as if they couldn't believe it. Keith suddenly stopped and gently grabbed my face with both of his hands, staring into my eyes.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Maureen?” he almost yelled at me. “Look at your face! It's gorgeous! We're all in love with you, you little idiot! When you come down the hall at school, don't you notice everybody looking at you?”
That stopped me.
Sure, I realized a lot of the other kids, older and younger, even the teachers, often looked at me in school. Secretly or otherwise. Even out of school, guys did it (old men even!) at the Greenbriar Mall, in the park, or a lot of other places.
But that was normal, just horny guys looking at a girl, anygirl, thinking about sex, the whole hormones gone wild thing.
“You're all crazy,” I said slowly, but I suddenlywasthinking it all over. “I don't believe you.”
Of course, I was always the first choice for sex at my parents' sex parties.
With my own dad or mom, or course, but also with almost every boy or man or girl or woman there. But it was because I was willing to doanythingsexual, and also because I was the informal little hostess-the oversexed preteen blonde daughter of the horny couple that owned the swingers' club and the motel.
That's why I was usually the center of attention, I was certain, not due to any special beauty or perfection I possessed.
And then I again thought of Tim, who always treated me as if I was made of delicate glass or something, something fragile. Almost like I was priceless, even.
He'd appreciated me more than anyone I'd ever met.
“Get away from me, you bastards,” I suddenly said to the three boys, realizing I'd lost whatever chance I'd had at happiness with Tim. Due to them. “Just go fuck yourselves and go to hell. Tim will never talk to me again because you let him know I was such a big slut, damn you.”
“Maureen!” Tommy tried again. “He'll come back.”
I gave him a withering look. What was he trying to pull now?
“Seriously,” he went on. “I always want tokillyou for all the fucking you do, with any guy with a dick, but I can't stay away from you. You're just too…too beautiful. And too fantastic a girl to get over.”
I looked at him, his voice suddenly so tremulous with genuine emotion I wondered if he was actually telling me the truth. In fact, I could tell he was almost in tears, trying not to let the other boys see, who were suddenly looking away.
But Randy looked back to me then.
“We're not lying, Maureen,” he said, as straightforwardly as he could. “You're the best looking girl in the entire school, even though you're just a kid. By the time you're a gorgeous 16-year-old, guys will be committing suicide over you. For real. The three of us are all in love with you, and that's the ridiculous truth.”
I just looked at Randy, then at Keith, who looked down awkwardly but nodded, and then to Tommy, who was pulling himself back together. He surreptitiously wiped at his eyes, then faced me.
“Anybody who ever met you would marry you in two seconds,” he said. “If you were old enough. It's a miracle you haven't been kidnapped by a bunch of weirdo's. That Tim guy willnotbe able to stay away from you…”
“He won't,” Keith chimed in. “We guarantee it. You own him, you little idiot. You ownallof us…”
And, suddenly, I was stunned to realize they weren't kidding me, weren't just trying to make me feel better. My God, they seemed to believe every word of it.
