Heartstone

'Yes, but when the boat brought us ashore she ran away. On the ship—I told Leacon who she was; he made her take off her jack and helmet, open her shirt. I exposed her as a woman. But it saved her. Jack, they're all gone. Leacon, Carswell, Llewellyn, everyone we knew.' Tears sprang to my eyes. 'It was my fault, it was because of me that Rich put them on that ship—' I started to weep.

Then Barak did something I would never have expected—he leaned forward and took me in his arms.

* * *

LATER I WAS able to sit up. I told Barak the story—my imprisonment by West, the scenes on the aftercastle, escaping via the walkway and being helped by Emma in the water. He told me he had picked up some letters that had been delivered to Hoyland—Tamasin was well, but worried that he had not returned to London. Guy said Coldiron was becoming troublesome and surly over his protectiveness towards Josephine.

'That doesn't surprise me,' I said.

He did not reply for a moment, then burst out angrily, 'Why didn't you send me a message?'

'I'm sorry. All I could think of was that our friends died because of me.'

'If it hadn't been George Leacon's company, it would have been another, a different set of women and children mourning.'

'But knowing them—' I shook my head desperately—'knowing them makes all the difference.'

'It was Richard Rich put them on the Mary Rose,' he said.

'Because he knew West was there. I saw them fall into the water. They never had a chance. I should have died with them: that would have been justice.'

'What good would that do? Another man dead? Me left to tell Tamasin and Guy? I thought I was going to have to do that, you know.'

I looked at him. 'I am sorry.' I sighed. 'How is David? I should have asked—I cannot seem to order my thoughts.'

'Dyrick was still at the priory, he wouldn't let me see Hobbey or David.' Barak looked at me hard. 'You should ride out and tell them Emma's alive. They'll have heard the Mary Rose went down with five hundred men by now, they'll be worried if they don't hear. You could get up if you'd eat something. That Edwin says you won't.'

'I can't eat.' I sat silent for a moment. 'Philip West—he had the death in action he wanted.'

'Action? He died because the arseholes in charge of this mess overloaded the Mary Rose and put a man who knew nothing of ships in charge. So they're saying in the taverns, anyway.'

'Just before Leacon and I went up to the aftercastle, we saw West. I looked at him—he knew I would bring him to account. I was so full of—righteousness. As I have been all along.'

'Does Rich think you're dead?' Barak asked.

'I don't know. I thought he might come here. But no one from the court has been.'

'Then with West dead, Ellen may be in danger from him. Have you thought of that?'

I put my head in my hands. 'I can't think of anything but those men—'

He reached out and grasped my hand roughly. 'It's time you pulled yourself together. Come, rouse yourself, there are still things to be done.'

Chapter Forty-nine

IT WAS ANOTHER DAY before I felt able to set out. Barak had forced me to eat, and had even gone out into Portsmouth to find new clothes for me. Gunfire still sounded frequently during the day. He told me the French had been repelled from the Isle of Wight, but the two fleets still stood facing each other, the French were sending galleys forward to try and hit our ships and tempt us out, though after the loss of the Mary Rose only our galleasses had been sent against them. In Portsmouth he managed to find a tailor, who supplied me with an outfit which made me look, if not a lawyer, at least like a gentleman.

'They fear the French will try to land elsewhere,' Barak said when he had given me the clothes. 'There are still soldiers coming in—I heard the King has ordered a new levy from London, and more shot from the Sussex ironworks. We have to go,' he concluded.

We were still in the old warehouse, sitting on stools and eating pottage by the pile of sacks that had become my bed. Most of the men who had been brought to the warehouse had left now; besides me there were only three with broken limbs and one poor sailor, very young, who seemed to have lost his mind and spent most of the time weeping in a corner. I had not been able to face going outside; I dreaded the prospect of looking again at the open sea. I had thought, was this how it began for Ellen?

'They want to try and refloat the Mary Rose when it's safe,' Barak said. 'Bring in Italian engineers, to recover the guns, at least.' He hesitated. 'The topmasts can be seen above the water at low tide.'

I kept silent. Barak put down his bowl. 'Right,' he said in businesslike tones. 'You know what we're going to do tomorrow.'

'Yes. We go to Portchester Castle and I ask to see the Queen.'

'I've confirmed she's still there, and the King at the tents. You talk to the Queen and then we go home. The horses are still stabled at the inn. We can stop at Hoyland on the way home, if you wish.'

I smiled sadly. 'We have indeed changed places, have we not? It is you who thinks everything out, makes plans for me to implement.'

'Always was that way really, if you ask me.'

I laughed, but it was a hollow sound. My mind kept returning to those images of the Mary Rose sinking; sometimes they crowded at me so I could not think. It was Barak who had worked out that to ensure Ellen's safety now I must go to the Queen, tell her Rich's secret.

I said, 'West would have died on the Mary Rose whatever happened, wouldn't he?'

'Of course he would,' Barak answered with the sort of irritated patience that was starting to creep into his voice. 'He was a senior officer, wasn't he?'

'Yes. For his death at least I have no responsibility.'

'Nor the others. It was the ship being overloaded with soldiers, the gun ports cut too close to the water, or any one of the other reasons being bruited around. Whatever it was, it wasn't you.'

'I think I will never be the same,' I said quietly. 'This has broken me.'

'You'll see things clearly with time; you always do.'

'I hope so, Jack. I hope so.'

* * *

WE SET OUT early the next morning. Yet another hot July day. My heart began thumping as soon as I stepped out of the warehouse.

'Ships all in the same places,' Barak said. 'The French haven't sent the galleys forward yet today.'

I looked out across the Point. The fleet still rode at anchor out on the Solent, in fact more small ships had joined it, but one great ship was missing. Though it set my stomach fluttering with fear, my eyes searched out over the water. 'You can't see the masts from here,' Barak said gently.

'Will they send word to the families of the men who were lost? Leacon's company came from Hertfordshire.'

Barak looked out at the ships. 'They won't be able to send anyone. Returning soldiers will tell the families when this is over.'

'I will tell Leacon's parents at least, go to Kent. Dear God, I owe them that.'

He answered gently, 'Let's get our business done and return to London first.'

We walked towards the inn where Oddleg was stabled. A company of tired-looking soldiers marched past us towards the wharf. I studied their faces, then asked quietly, 'When you were out in the city yesterday, I don't suppose there was any sign of Emma?'

'I asked around, spoke to the soldiers at the gate. No one remembers a brown-haired boy in a torn shirt. I