merry, but she insisted that she was, literally, a widow.
'Poor, dear Joseph,' she said when they finally accepted Cousin Lou's invitation to dinner. 'God rest his soul.'
Lou raised an eyebrow and looked at Annie. Annie shrugged. 'Mom's a widow,' she said. 'Didn't you know?'
'Don't be fresh,' Betty said, and swept into the living room in her black linen pants and tunic.
Cousin Lou was not one to argue with anyone who was kind enough to accept his hospitality. He took Annie and Miranda, each on one arm, and escorted them into the big living room that overlooked the water. They were on a hill, and their view of the Sound was unimpeded except by the many figures who stood in front of the glass walls. There was an artist and a pianist, a Holocaust scholar, a psychiatrist, a young Internet mogul, several Wall Street people, two surgeons, an architect, and a lawyer — all of them with spouses, all of their spouses with their own careers. Lou introduced all his guests simply by their first names, as if they were family pets, even patting their heads now and then. It was only after he steered Annie and Miranda over to a woman dressed in white and perched on the arm of the sofa who, he reminded them, was his wife, that they learned in great detail the last names and occupations of the guests they had just been introduced to. Annie had half expected Lou to note that his wife was 'like family,' but instead, he hurried off and left Rosalyn to nod her rather large head in the direction of each specimen they'd just met and relate in a loud, rasping whisper what that person did professionally.
'They seem very distinguished,' Annie said, sensing that was what Rosalyn required.
'I am drawn to exceptional people,' Rosalyn said. 'It is my vice.' Then she smiled at the absurdity of someone like herself having something as tasteless as a vice.
'They're like family,' Miranda offered.
Rosalyn raised an eyebrow at her. 'One cannot choose one's family,' she said. 'Can one?'
'No,' Annie said drily, noting simultaneously though silently that even when one, that is to say Rosalyn, stood, one was no taller than one had been when seated on the arm of the sofa. Annie smiled at Cousin Rosalyn. 'Families are fate.'
Rosalyn's prominent head balanced rather precariously on what came below, like a blowsy rose on a stem plucked bare of its leaves. The circumference of her head was emphasized by her hair, which was thin but of an intensely hued blond arranged in a helmet of great volume. Annie watched it revolve, slowly, like a golden globe, toward her mother, who now approached them in her beautifully tailored linen.
'Widow's weeds,' Betty explained with a sad smile when Rosalyn admired her outfit.
5
Frederick Barrow was what Miranda could only call a pleasant-looking man — not, therefore, her type. He had a puckish, friendly face and his hair was thinning, not a distinguished receding hairline like Josie's, just thin, combed back and a bit too artistically long. Miranda was sorry on that score and disappointed for Annie. But, as she loyally pointed out to her mother, what hair he had was silver. And he had kind eyes. They called to mind an old dog's eyes, so dark and earnest, but that she did not say out loud. She reminded herself, instead, that she loved dogs and had often thought of adopting one from a shelter. A shepherd mix. Or a misunderstood pit bull. Immediately after this thought, she felt a rush of warmth for Frederick Barrow, as if he had himself rescued a large abandoned dog that very moment or, an even more compelling alternative, was wagging his tail against the wire confines of his cage, whimpering, his head appealingly tilted to one side, as he waited for Miranda to liberate him from his cramped prison.
In fact, at that moment Frederick Barrow was standing at a podium in front of them reading in a singsong voice that made Miranda sleepy.
'He has kind eyes,' she whispered to her mother.
Thinking really they were mischievous eyes, Betty whispered back, 'A triumph for Annie.'
Miranda wondered if she meant the turnout at the reading — which was enormous — or Annie's friendship with Barrow.
'A feather in her cap,' she whispered, to cover her bases.
A serious, twiggy young man in a hand-knit muffler turned from the seat in front and glared at them, and Miranda was quiet. A wool scarf in the August heat spelled lunatic. Lunatics must not be disturbed.
Readings. If there was an upside to the recent implosion of her career, it was her release from the obligation of attending readings. Yet here she was, back in the saddle, daydreaming, pretending to listen, leaning her head to one side, then the other, to stretch her stiff, aching neck. But this reading was different. It was not for one of the Awful Authors. It was for Annie.
She watched Frederick turn a page. He was dressed in khaki pants and a stiffly ironed blue oxford shirt with a frayed collar. He wore faded blue boat sneakers. His voice rocked back and forth, a cradle of words, in the treetops, rocking, rocking. She tuned in for a minute to what the cradle contained. Something bleak. Something violent. A nightmarish creature, a Rosemary's baby of snarling prose, rocked softly in the writer's gentle voice. She let the meaning of the words drift past her, soothed by the sound of them, by the writer's sympathetic voice, by his kind eyes.
'Such bright, kind eyes,' she said to Annie when the reading was over.
Annie smiled. She looked at Frederick, seated at a long table signing books. 'He was wonderful.'
She had been wary of meeting him at first. His work, highly regarded by many, was off-putting for Annie, embodying the qualities she disliked in both the Jewish writers of his generation (that showing off masked as neurosis) and the Wasps (the coldness masked as modesty). But Frederick had surprised her, for he was not at all like his novels. He seemed in fact that rarest and to Annie most welcome combination of qualities: both truly modest and truly neurotic.
'We look forward to seeing more of Frederick Barrow,' Betty said.
'Maybe when his next book comes out,' Annie said. 'I'm trying to get Alice Munro for our next reading.'
'Oh, Annie, don't be silly.'
'I know. She probably won't come.'
'Oh, Annie,' Betty repeated, shaking her head. 'You're impossible.'
'Don't be coy,' Miranda added. 'I hate coyness in an adult woman.'
'Do you like it in a young woman?' Annie said, as she was mercifully called away to speak to the volunteers who were folding chairs.
She glanced at Frederick and saw he was surrounded by young women and middle-aged men. An interesting demographic. Where did she fit in?
When the crowd had dispersed, Frederick stayed at the table, sitting on top of it now rather than behind it, talking to two young people, an ascetic-faced woman with incongruously large baby blue eyes, in her early thirties, Annie guessed, and a young man perhaps a year or two younger dressed in expensive casual clothes. Everything he wore looked soft, burnished, delectable: his light cotton sweater — or was it silk — his narrow pants. Annie wanted to touch them, every article of clothing. Even his buttery Ferragamo loafers. Like the lunatic in the audience, he was wearing a scarf, but it was of sheer white cotton lawn.
I do not fit in, that's where, Annie thought in answer to her own question.
Frederick saw her and waved her over.
'This is Gwen... and this is Evan,' he said, smiling at the two young people. 'My children.'
Annie tried not to survey them with too obvious curiosity. But she had heard so much about this son and daughter. Gwen had some sort of consulting business she ran from home, Annie remembered. Her husband was a lawyer or a doctor or a banker, she couldn't remember which, only that he 'made a living,' as her grandmother used to say. They had two small children, twin girls, who took violin lessons with tiny violins and played soccer in tiny uniforms. Evan had just left one job in public relations for another — Frederick had received that news during one of his dinners with Annie. 'As long as he's not on my payroll,' he'd said when he got off the phone, and Annie, who revered her children and would never have spoken sarcastically about them to anyone but herself, had been a little shocked at his disloyalty, then had quickly chastised herself as a humorless Jewish mother. Frederick had mentioned that Evan's girlfriend, with whom he had just broken up, was a model, something Evan himself
