into woman. She contoured his hips and felt the smooth movements of meshing in his superbly toned body. His back-ah, his back, how warm and strong and tough it was as he undulated. She came to know its texture beneath her palms, then beneath her heels, beneath her calves. And once she reached the backs of her fingers to the soft masculine orbs that swayed against her as he rocked into her flesh, her light touch an accolade to the act they shared.
He was an exquisite male animal, a sensitive human being. He was more than her sexual nemesis. He was her love.
When he climaxed, he drove her a foot up the bed with the force of his final thrusts, and a magnificent animal sound escaped his gritted teeth.
Then he fell, exhausted, almost knocking the breath from her.
Chapter 10
'Winn, what are we going to do?' The sheen had dried from his shoulders. He lay on his side, his troubled brown eyes probing hers.
'I don't know.'
'You can't marry him. You just can't.'
She closed her eyes and the lids trembled. She opened them, and he saw the turmoil she faced. A terrible hurt grabbed his heart like a giant fist, wringing.
'Could you really do this with me, then go back to him?'
'What other choice do I have?'
He lay with an elbow folded beneath an ear. With his free hand he caressed the side of her face, his fingertips delving the messed hair at her temple.
'I want to say, marry me, Winn, and I think that's what I want. But it's happened awfully fast. I need some time alone with you, more time than we've had. We both need it so we can explore the possibility. I'm twenty- seven. I've waited a long time to find the right woman, and I don't intend to make it a temporary commitment when I get married.'
'Neither do I.'
His thumb had been stroking her cheekbone but fell still. Their somber gazes grew too intense, and she closed her eyes to shut out his compelling face.
'Look at me!' His hand pressed hard in emphasis. She opened her eyes again. 'I love you, Winn Gardner. But I don't want you to do the thing that's wrong for you. I've spent a lot of time sending out little digs about him and you, hinting that he's not right for you, not good enough for you. Is he?'
Her lips opened and she wet them. Her nostrils flared, and the hint of tears sparkled in the downward corners of her eyes. But she didn't know how to answer. How could Joseph think Paul had to measure up to
Her eyelids became half-shuttered as she dropped her gaze. His knuckles pressed up on her chin, forcing her blue eyes and blushing cheeks to confront his direct gaze. 'Has he?'
'No,' she whispered.
'Has anyone?'
Her blush deepened. 'No.'
'The first time…' he mused wondrously. His forefinger measured the width of her lower lip, then slipped inside and touched her teeth. 'Why with me?'
She tried to turn onto her back and shift her gaze to the ceiling, but he wouldn't let her. 'Why did you let me?'
'Just because… because you… you tried it, and it… it felt right.'
'You mean nobody else has ever tried it with you before?'
'There haven't been that many, Joseph.'
'How many?'
'Four. You're my fifth.'
'And who are the others?'
'My high-school steady and two others during college before I met Paul. And now you.'
'And now me…' At close range he saw that her eyes had startling aquamarine depths scattered within the surface blues. That unconscious single-lidded blink came at what-by now-he considered quite the appropriate time. 'On the day you dropped your wedding invitations into the mail, you allow me liberties you've never allowed even the man you're going to marry. Why?'
'Because I feel free and open with you, and at the moment it happened I felt committed. I wanted… it seemed…' She tried to cover her face with one hand, but he grasped the wrist and prevented it.
'Don't be ashamed before me… not ever, Winn. There's absolutely no reason to be. It seemed what?'
'I've read about it before and seen pictures, but it always seemed… perverted. And then with you it became…' She picked at the bedspread between their chins and finally lifted her eyes to his. Such eyes he had. She loved his eyes. 'Exalted,' she finished quietly.
His intense eyes studied her somberly. He sighed-a wholesome sound-and kissed the bridge of her nose, between her eyes, then lay back, studying her again.
'And after that you could still marry him?'
Angrily now, she sat up, slipped from the end of the bed and crossed the hall to the bathroom, from where she informed him, 'You don't realize what all is involved, Joseph! You're not the one whose mother has hired caterers and cake decorators and florists and laid down big chunks of money as deposits for every service about to be rendered!'
He rolled to his back, cupped the back of his head in both hands and snorted at the ceiling. 'So it's the money?'
He heard the rush of water, then what sounded like the slam of a drawer. Her voice grew louder and closer as she reappeared and came to stand at the foot of the bed, still naked. 'Joseph, you don't quite understand about my mother. I'm a bastard she had to raise without a penny of help from anyone. She went through a pregnancy without a man and had me with no father to sign the birth certificate, and she's lived the twenty-five years since as frugally as it's possible to live. Security-that's always been her hang-up. And to her, money was the only security she could obtain, because she had no man for emotional security. So money came to mean a lot to her, and she slowly earned more and more of it but hoarded it very jealously.
'Until now. When I became engaged to Paul, she loosened the purse strings for the first time. She's giving me the kind of wedding she thinks is most socially acceptable. Can you imagine her chagrin if I were to go to her now, after the invitations have been sent, after the announcement has been put in the paper, after showers have been planned, and announce that I changed my mind?'
His eyes held none of their devilish twinkle now. They bored into her while he lay with his armpits exposed, his belly hollow. Unexpectedly he snapped up, stretching out a hand to her. 'Come here. Could we please continue this conversation tucked cozily under the sheets together instead of like cold angry strangers?'
Immense relief flooded her as she leaned to place her hand in his. He gave one hard tug, and she fell half on top of him. He held her upper arms tightly and informed her, 'I don't like arguing about it any more than you do, but we both knew it'd happen once we made love, didn't we?'
'Yes, I suppose we did.'
Their troubled eyes clung, and hers were on the verge of tears when he released her and ordered, 'Get in. I'm shivering.'
She crawled on hands and knees to the top of the bed, and he slipped in beside her, snuggling under the blankets and wrapping both arms around her, settling the top of her head just beneath his chin. She rolled on her side and circled his ribs with one clinging arm.
