dried all around you-no sun to dry it, nothing green. Nobody who cares a damn if it's you there at the machine the next day or somebody else. Just a poke in the ribs and a 'get goin', Bucko' from the boss-man when you slow your pace. It's not Moran Township, Mary.'
He paused momentarily, looking into his glass. 'It was the longest year of my life, and the only thing that made it human was a bit of feeling another human being was near me now and then. There were women in the factory who were used to seeing pasty-faced boys with slack muscles, looking like they'd crawled out from under a rock. I guess they didn't mind a bit of me now and again, for at least I had color and strength from the farm. It was those women who taught me something about what a woman needs. But they were just warm bodies to remind me that I was still alive. They knew their way around men, I'll say that for them. But not one of them is worth one hair from your precious head, Mary.' And he reached out to put a finger under her chin and raise it so their eyes could meet.
All he'd been saying had created an ache within her, the ache of knowing Aaron's loneliness and the ache of knowing herself to be loose, like those women in the city. 'I'm no better than those women, Aaron, I…' 'Don't you ever say that again.'
She turned her head to free her lips. 'I'm married to one man and bedded with another, and I find I can't even be sorry. I've wronged them both, and I can't find guilt for it.' 'You haven't wronged me, Mary. What we're sharing is too good, too right to call it wrong.' 'And what about Jonathan?' she asked. 'Yes, what about Jonathan? What about my brother who threw you at my feet, traded you off so he could gain a sire?' 'None of that can excuse me or the injustice I've done to Jonathan.' 'Injustice? Mary, he deserves every injustice in the book after what he asked of you, and all that hypocritical claptrap he comes up with can't excuse him.' 'What about us, though, Aaron? Doesn't the same hold true for us?' 'I'm not making excuses, Mary. I don't feel the need to. I'm not using Jonathan's wishes as a crutch, either. What happened between us happened like a wholesome, growing thing, too good for excuses. I don't need to be ex- cused.'
There was a shine of lantern light in her eyes as she looked at him, confessing the rightness she felt about herself and Aaron. Seeing that confession in her face, he said, 'Last night you said two people don't have to be friends or playmates to fall in love, remember?'
She nodded silently. 'And I told you that sometimes it makes it more fun.' 'Oh, but Aaron, I never knew.' 'Mary, until last night I really didn't, either.'
The touch of Aaron's hand on her cheek turned her to sweet, shaking jelly as he pulled her forward and kissed her. But their crossed knees got in the way between them, so he took the glass from her and set it on the floor, along with his own, stretching out across the width of the bed to do so. Then he looked up at Mary and reached his hand out to her. And she took it and let him pull her down beside him, beside Aaron, her friend, her teacher, her lover-Aaron, who now seemed all things to her.
He began the magic his hands had played on her last night, but before he could take her gown from her, she sat up and turned the lantern off, knowing he had no intention of doing so himself. They loved again in the dense blackness. It carried the wealth of his murmured endearments, teaching her the way of words before all spoken sounds dissolved.
11
The drone of low thunder brought Aaron awake in the gray, early dawn. It was muffled, but accentuated by a steady rain. He lay very still, hoping it wouldn't wake Mary. She was lying on her side facing him, and the blankets were tucked under her armpit. Some of her hair was way over on his pillow, and if he turned his head he'd be lying on it. He eased onto his side, facing her, moving by inches so she'd not awaken. When he'd completed his quarter turn, he lifted up his arm and held it aloft. Then, moving ever so slowly, he pulled the sheets up and away from Mary's chest. Her arm over the covers held them pinioned to her side, but Aaron pulled gently from his direction, feeling the bedding sliding a cool path across his own body until he had enough slack to lay it all over Mary's arm. Then at last he saw all of Mary, curved and curled up slightly in slumber, as beautiful as he'd imagined her. Her skin was smooth at first, but as he looked at her, he saw goosebumps form on it as the damp, cool air touched her. Watching her breasts, he saw them shrivel, too, with the chill that touched them. He was afraid the coolness would wake her, so he turned the blankets back over her. She roused a bit, turned over on her other side, facing away from him. He curled his own spine to match hers and put an arm around her, pulling her into his warm curve. He went back to sleep that way.
Mary became aware of the cocoon of warmth around her. The only thing that moved as she woke up was her eyes as they opened. She felt Aaron's hand on her breast and his breath on her back, and she closed her eyes once more to better savor everything. She wished his face were in front of her so she could study it in sleep, but she contented herself with his guardian hand instead.
She knew Aaron was awake, too, when his hand began to move, gently fondling, arousing. The first thing he said to her back was, 'It's raining, sweetheart.'
She hummed, 'Mm-hmm,' in a lazy monotone. 'We can't plant corn in the rain.' His hand kept kneading. 'Mm- hmm.' It was hard to remember what corn he was talking about. 'We have lots of time.' 'Hm-hmmm.'
The nipples on her breasts were getting firm and pointed. 'Mary?' 'Hm-hmmm.' 'Put your hand back here.'
No answer.
Her hand was resting someplace in front of her, near her face-too far away, Aaron thought. He moved his hand down to her hard, flat belly, and he could feel her suck in the muscles that hardened it even more. Her breathing was fast and shallow. He felt her slowly begin to move her hand. When it got to her hip, under the covers, it stopped. He took his hand from her belly, and captured hers. Sliding his over the back of it, he wove his fingers in between hers and squeezed her palm hard. Then he pulled it slowly down and behind her until it rested on his body. At that instant, neither one of them was breathing, but holding their breaths in anticipation. When he felt her fingers timidly move, then wrap around the warmth of him, he expelled his breath in a near-groan. It was silent for a long time after that, and both of them had their eyes closed.
The next thing Mary felt were Aaron's hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him. She let him pull her around, keeping her hand where he'd put it. When she lay looking him full in the face, he grasped the covers, sheets and all, and very deliberately turned them down to their hips, then kicked them the rest of the way to the foot of the bed. 'Look at us, Mary,' he said, but her eyes stayed riveted on his face. 'Look, Mary. We're beautiful. You shouldn't miss anything so beautiful.' Her eyelids flickered the very slightest bit but she didn't lower her gaze. 'Just think about how right we are and how good, and how that makes us beautiful. You're beautiful, Mary. I saw you before you were awake, and I swear to God I've never seen any thing as beautiful as you. The only thing that could be better would be both of us together.'
When she felt the warmth of his mouth, her eyes closed and her hand began moving down where it still was on his body. The lilac and lavender and rain formed the sweetest ambrosia, and they succumbed to its intoxication.
When Aaron stopped kissing her and drew back, she opened her eyes again, but he was looking down and there was a smile on his lips. She reacted as naturally as a lilac responds to the rain-she looked down, too. And once she looked she was captivated, held.
They explored each other at length, first hesitantly, then more boldly. He knelt on his knees beside her and pushed her onto her back, and his eyes and hands took their fill of her. 'There's nothing in the world as soft as this spot,' he said, touching her as he said it. 'I think that I can never get enough of it or of you.' And he kissed the spot he'd been touching.
What made her think of Jonathan right then? She had a glimpse of Jonathan's shape above her in the dark. She re- membered lying beneath him without moving and realized that after two days with Aaron they knew each other's bodies in a way she'd never known her husband's. 'How could I not know all this before? What I knew was such a small part,' she said. 'All that time…'
Aaron rose up on an elbow to look into her face, his voice softly understanding as he said,
'Let me make it up to you, Mary, if only for today.'
