“Did you really just say that? You really just made that joke?”
“No-I mean, I did, but it was thoughtless. You’re absolutely right. I got lost in thought and wasn’t paying attention. I promise it won’t happen again.”
“I just got scared, you know?”
“I know.”
“You got me in all kinds of trouble,” Toby told Owen. “I hope you’re feeling better.”
Yes.
1991
“Guess what time of the month it is, and guess what I missed…?”
“Okay, how about Toby for a boy, Sarah for a girl?”
“Nah,” said Sarah. “I don’t like having two people in the same household with the same name. It’s okay for a boy, I guess, because you could call him ‘junior,’ but what do you call a girl who’s named after her mother?”
“She could go by her middle name.”
“Then why not just make her middle name her first name?”
“You’re right. How about Owen for a boy?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Other kids will make fun of him. They’ll say, ‘You’re Owen us money!’”
“I bet they won’t.”
“Sorry. Veto on Owen.”
“Michael?”
“Maybe.”
“Hannah for a girl?”
“Do you know anybody named Hannah?”
“No, I just like the name.”
“Me, too. We’ll keep it in mind.”
“You see, Garrett, when a mommy has a baby in her tummy, sometimes she acts all weird, and it’s best to give her anything she wants. This helps daddies stay alive.”
1992
“It was a girl!” Toby announced.
Owen smiled.
“I hope everyone in this house is ready, mommies and sons included, because it’s time for…Tickle War! Rrrraaarrrr!”
“Can I get one?” Garrett asked, eyeing the puppies in the cages at the pet store.
“Maybe when you’re six,” Toby said.
“That’s forever!”
“You say that now. It goes fast.”
1993
“Look what came in the mail today!” said Sarah, waving the envelope.
Toby took it from her. “Wow. I didn’t think there were any still circulating. It’s even my old address.”
“Open it.”
“What is it, Daddy?” Garrett set down his tentacled alien action figure and hurried over to join the excitement.
“Nothing. It’s just Daddy’s dreams being crushed.”
“Don’t talk that way around him,” Sarah said.
“I’m just kidding.”
“He doesn’t know that.”
Toby tore open the envelope and handed the letter to Garrett. “Do you want to read it?”
Garrett enthusiastically grabbed the letter. He looked at the words and frowned.
“Sound it out,” Sarah said.
“We re…reg-ret…”
Toby sighed. “Let’s give him some Dr. Seuss.”
“Guess who got a gold star today?” Toby asked Owen.
Owen reached for the drawing, but Toby put it behind his back. “Sarah will kill me if you rip it. I just wanted you to see it. Look at that. He’s pretty good, don’t you think?”
Yes.
“You’re not just saying that, are you? I’m biased and all, but let me tell you, I was at the open house and I saw what the other kids had up on the wall, and there was some shit. Look at that hand. How many six-year-olds do you know who draw knuckles? I didn’t have any talent chromosomes to pass on, so I don’t know where he got it, but this kid’s a freakin’ Rembrandt. Gold star. Right there, baby.”
He held the paper behind his back again. “No, seriously, Owen, you can’t touch it. But it’s impressive, right? It’s not just me? I need you to provide a neutral opinion because Sarah and I are flipping out over it. Of course, he did also wet his pants during recess, but when you have immense talent you can’t always focus on bladder control.”
1994
“Oh.”
“You have more to say than ‘oh,’ right?”
“It just took me by surprise, that’s all. The way you said it. No buildup.”
“Like they say in the newspaper business, don’t bury the lead, right?” Sarah was practically bouncing with excitement.
It was, to be fair, outstanding news. A children’s television show wanted her to join the staff and write new songs each week. An incredible opportunity. She could go from being a waitress with a few songs that occasionally got radio play on local stations to a full-time songwriter.
“But it’s in Chicago.”
“Well, yeah.”
“I’d have to quit my job.”
“Yes, you would. You don’t have any great love for that job. You never have.”
“We’d have to pull Garrett out of school.”
“Yeah, and he’d go to school in Chicago.”
“He’d have to make new friends.”
“He’s six. He hasn’t formed lifelong friendships yet.” Sarah stared at him in disbelief. “Why are you giving me crap about this?”
“I just don’t want to move.”
