'I'm not sure,' Veronica admitted. 'Not my department. Oh, by the way, somehow the bunker's location got leaked, and you have a lot of fans who are worried about you. There's quite a crowd out there.'
'I still have fans? This wasn't a PR disaster?'
'Stanley, this was a PR disaster beyond anything you can imagine. People think you've gone mentally ill. But don't worry about it for now. For now, get some rest.'
'You know, while I was locked up in that room I thought of the rest of the states and their capitals.'
'Really?'
'No. But I did think of you flashing me.'
'I'm glad you're back, Stanley,' said Veronica. 'Sleep tight.'
She left the room.
Martin sighed.
'You're really pissed, aren't you?' asked Stanley.
'Yes. But I'm here.'
'Y'know, I'm madly in love with Veronica, but you can woo her yourself if you want. How about that?'
'That implies that I was worried about competition from a one-armed zombie.'
'A rich one-armed zombie.'
'Go to sleep, Stanley. I'll be here to make sure that Brant doesn't kill you. I'm sure he wants to.'
'You're a good friend, Martin.'
'I know. Shut up.'
Stanley sat in Dr. Arnzin's office. Physically he felt fine. Mentally, he was still not up to par, and he'd woken up screaming in the middle of the night.
'Everything looks good,' said Dr. Arnzin, shining his penlight into Stanley's right eye. 'You know, not many people can take a bullet to the forehead and be back to normal the next week.'
'Yeah, yeah, it's a gift. So what's up with my injections?'
'They keep you alive.'
'Duh. What's in them?'
'A series of chemicals. Long names that I can't even pronounce. I don't synthesize them, I just put them in you.'
'Virgin blood?'
He saw Dr. Arnzin flinch, just a bit.
'That might be part of it.'
'So you know?'
'Yes. And I know that you know. But I wasn't supposed to know that you…ah, if we continue this conversation we'll get into that old joke about me knowing what you know but you're not supposed to know that I know that you know, so let's say that we both know and drop it.'
'Where do you get the blood?'
'I don't.'
'Where does Brant get the blood?'
'I don't know.' Dr. Arnzin fidgeted nervously. 'Listen, Stanley, you don't think less of me, right? I'm still a real doctor. I did yank bullets out of you.'
'You have my utmost respect,' Stanley assured him. 'But I have to know what's going on.'
'He's not murdering virgins, if that's what you mean.'
'Then what's he doing?'
'I don't know.'
'Then how do you know he's not murdering virgins?'
'Because that would be wrong.'
'Doc, you've got to help me. This is important.'
'No, what's important is for you to relax and not concern yourself with things like that right now. You've had a traumatic experience. Mr. Corpse needs to get all better.'
Stanley decided to drop it for now, but he wasn't convinced. 'Yeah, you're right. Thanks for digging the bullet out of my brain.'
'My pleasure.'
'Veronica, I need you to do me a huge favor,' said Stanley. She sat at her desk, eating lunch while typing on her laptop. Brant had gone out, fighting his way through the crowd that Stanley had yet to face.
'I'm pretty sure you owe me a lot more favors than I owe you,' said Veronica.
'I know, and I'll make them all up to you. But I have to know where my injections are coming from.'
'Why?'
'Because I think it's something bad.'
'Why?'
'I can't tell you that.'
'I think you should.'
'Okay, look, I just need to get inside the lab.'
'Stanley, do you know why unauthorized personnel aren't allowed inside the lab?'
'Because it contains a dark secret.'
'No, because it contains hazardous chemicals. Decontamination suit-type stuff. I'm not about to let you inside there so you can blow us all up.'
'I'm not going to blow anybody up,' Stanley insisted. 'You've got to trust me.'
'And what part of your behavior over the past couple of weeks leads you to believe that I consider you trustworthy?'
Stanley sighed. 'I understand. I just think something really bad is going on, and I want to see it for myself.'
'Suppose I did want to help you. I don't have access to the lab.'
'I know. I thought you could get a hold of Brant's badge.'
'How?'
'Ummmm…maybe seduce him?'
'Stanley-'
'I don't mean sleep with him or do it against the wall or anything. I just mean to pretend to be attracted to him. Use your womanly charms.'
'It won't work.'
'Sure it will. If there's anybody in this world who needs a boner, it's Brant. Just bat your eyes, brush against him, maybe call him a stud muffin or something. You'll have the badge in no time.'
'You really expect me to put my job at risk like that?'
'It's important.'
'It won't work.'
'Yes, it will.'
'No, it won't.'
'Why not?'
'Because he knows I'm a lesbian.'
Stanley started to say something, but decided that he needed a long moment to reflect upon that last comment. 'You're what?'
'You heard me,' said Veronica, obviously wishing that she hadn't blurted out that particular revelation.
'A practicing lesbian?'
'I don't want to talk about it. Quite frankly it's none of your business.'
