shopping after stopping at the post office. At least he and Savannah would have a nice dinner.
JESSIE ROLLED THE WINDOWS DOWN and cranked up the stereo. She sang along with the Brad Paisley tune, loudly and off key as usual, to try to cleanse her mind of the conversation with Shaun. When was her father ever going to learn?
At least school was starting soon. She missed seeing Adam every day, and having her friends around all the time. She’d miss seeing her dad so much, but at least they could meet for coffee halfway between A &A and campus now and then. She preferred that to being home and having to put up with Savannah’s paradoxical attention. How someone could appear to not care at all about what Jessie did while simultaneously criticizing every move she made was beyond her psych 101 education.
Jessie pounded a fist lightly on the steering wheel as guilt nagged her. She had a mother-that was more than a lot of people had. And, though annoying, her mother was relatively healthy on all levels – didn’t abuse or neglect her, was successful, and provided for her family. Jessie wished they could just get along.
She pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall and took a spot in the back row. After affixing her name tag to her shirt and brushing her wind-tangled hair, she took a deep breath and prayed her pre-work prayer.
The bell above the door chimed as she entered the bookstore. She waved to her manager, Torrie, who was working the register, and walked back to the offices to stash her wallet and keys before taking her place on the floor. A cart of new arrivals stood outside the stockroom; she wheeled it to the fiction section and read the back of each one before placing them on the shelves. She loved that she had a job that required her to read. Fiction was her specialty, though her growing interest in child development had her perusing the parenting section these days as well. She’d thought about trying to write a book, even had some decent ideas, but she worried everyone would compare her to Savannah or think she was trying to ride her mother’s Sak’s Fifth Avenue coattails. That was the absolute last thing she’d ever want anyone to think about her.
“Hey, Jess – oh good, you’ve got the cart.” Torrie appeared at her side and slouched against the bookshelf. “There’s a couple boxes of returns in the stockroom, too.”
“Okay, I’ll do those next.”
“Do you know your schedule yet for next term? I’m going to start working out the shifts for the fall this week.”
“Oh, yeah, I’ll bring that tomorrow. I should be able to keep the same number of hours, though.”
“Good. Between you and Dagne we should be set then, assuming your availability doesn’t overlap too much.” Torrie pulled a book from the cart and read the back, then handed it to Jessie. “Did you see the numbers for last month’s sales? Your mom’s book went through the roof after her conference in Denver.”
“Oh, really?” Jessie clenched her teeth briefly as she pushed a book on the shelf. “Well, that’s good.”
“She’s such an inspiration. My parents aren’t believers, so I didn’t have much of a role model when I became a Christian.” Torrie sighed, looking wistful. “You’re so lucky.”
Live in my head for a day and see if you don’t change your mind. “Yeah, she’s really… helped a lot of people.”
“Is she back from the tour yet?”
“Tomorrow night.”
“Know if she has any other books in the works?”
Jessie swallowed back a snarky comment. “I don’t know. I haven’t talked to her much this summer; she’s been gone so much.”
“Ah, true. Probably no time to write when she’s touring. Well, I hope she comes out with something soon-she’s great for business.” Torrie grinned, then pushed away from the bookshelf. “Gonna go work on the books. You’ve got the register.”
“Okay.” She watched Torrie disappear into the office and let out a deep breath. Nothing made her want to vent more than hearing other people paint her mother as some kind of hero. She could just hear people thinking, “And what are
She finished stocking the books and began straightening the shelves. The front door chimed and she peeked around the bookshelf to greet the customer. “Welcome to Grace Notes,” she said. “Can I help you find anything?”
The young woman pushed her sunglasses up and held out a sticky note. “Um, yeah. I’m looking for this book-A Jewel of a Woman by Savannah Trover. I caught the title at the end of a radio show, but didn’t get to hear much about it. Would you recommend it?”
Jessie turned on her saleswoman smile and tried not to feel like a hypocrite. “Oh, definitely. Follow me. Savannah’s books are over here.” She led the woman to Savannah’s section of the Christian Living shelves, smile frozen to her face, her insides smoldering. She rattled off her sales pitch for the book, then left the customer to skim it on her own. A few minutes later she closed the sale, then went back to work on the cart of books. She may not be thrilled with the author, but she had to admit, the lady sure could sell books.
SAVANNAH TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE audience’s laughter to take a sip from the water bottle that sat beside her Bible on the small podium. She could feel her immune system breaking down, in spite of the adrenaline. Three doses of various supplements over the course of the day had done nothing but push off the inevitable, and now, as she faced the last few minutes of her final talk, she knew she would just barely finish in time to keep a smile on her face as she spoke.
“So tomorrow, when you get ready to start your day, look in the mirror and see the whole you. Not just a single woman. Not just a wife. Not just a mom. Not just a… whatever it is you use to label yourself. See the woman God put here for this time in history. See the change agent whose community is waiting for her to step up and reach out. See the image of God that the Lord wants to use to shine his light and love into this dark, tumultuous world. You are more. And together, we are more. More than the lies, more than the pain, more than the fear and the busyness and the complacency that Satan uses to oppress those who don’t know the Father. Don’t listen to the voices that tell you you are less. Grab the day by the neck and don’t let it go until you’ve wrung out of it every last opportunity to change this world for the better, in the name of Jesus.”
The worship band began to play behind her, and she picked up her Bible and water from the table as the singers broke into the first song of the final worship set. Savannah walked down to her seat and released a deep breath as Marisa held out another handful of vitamin C capsules. “You made it.”
“Just barely.” She swallowed the pills with the last of her water. The music lulled her; she closed her eyes and let her body relax. Her head began to hurt as her adrenaline drained away, and she could feel her muscles and joints stating to ache.
The final worship set lasted for fifteen minutes. When the lights came up and the applause began, Savannah forced her heavy eyelids open and stood with the other presenters. They walked down the aisle and back to their dressing room, where all but Savannah began to chat about the evening’s wrap-up dinner. Savannah sank onto the sofa and closed her eyes again. “Marisa, what time is our flight tomorrow?”
“Not until ten-thirty. But I’m going to try changing it to tonight. I’m worried about you being too sick tomorrow to fly.”
“Wise woman.” She pried her eyes open and hoisted herself from the couch to pack her things. Marisa called the airline, and Savannah eavesdropped until it was clear she had secured a new flight.
Marisa hung up a few minutes later. “We’re booked for an 8:35.”
Savannah glanced at the clock. “We’d better hustle then.”
“Right-you ready to go?”
Savannah looked around the room for stray items. “I think so.”
She hugged each of the other presenters she’d traveled with for most of the last three months, sad to miss out on the celebration dinner, and then left with Marisa for the hotel to pack.
Savannah felt like she was moving in slow motion as she folded pajamas and reclaimed her personal items from the nightstand. “I just know I’m going to forget something.”
“That’s why I’m here, silly.” Marisa chuckled. “I know we’re good friends and all, but this is my job, remember? So don’t worry; I’ve got your back.”
Savannah flashed her a weary smile. “Thanks, girl.” Savannah zipped her bag closed and lay back on the bed. “When do we leave for the airport?”
