thought of the dead cat was unavoidable and she paid no attention to the TV.
Jenny had gone off somewhere, and Katarina was expected to be home from her training at any moment. Krister was working late; in the best case, he wouldn’t arrive home until after one.
Her thoughts shifted to the Schyttelius case. She was going to try to contact Rebecka the next day, and then she would have to decide when she was going to London. She must not forget to get in touch with Thompson at the Yard. What was the weather like in England this time of year? What should she wear? She couldn’t forget her passport. It was new, applied for because of the trip she and Krister were going to take to Greece in August. It would be their first trip abroad since the twins were born. It would be warm and pleasant on Crete. .
SHE WOKE with a start. A police car with flashing blue lights was chasing a white van on the TV. The blaring of the police siren had awakened her. Dazed with sleep, she looked at the clock on the VCR; it was almost midnight.
She got up with stiff, creaking limbs and turned off the television. Sammie came jumping up from his place under the glass table and immediately informed her that he needed to go out. There was nothing that could be done about it. He hadn’t been out since the cat murder.
Irene put on her jacket and boots with a sigh. The cool night air woke her. It was a clear night with shining stars and a nearly half moon.
They passed the Bernhogs’ house on the way back. Through the kitchen window, Irene could see Margit Bernhog sitting at the kitchen table with an untouched glass of milk in front of her, staring out the window with red eyes. It was clear that she had been crying. Irene realized that Margit couldn’t see her because of the light over the kitchen table.
Irene felt miserable when she reentered her own house. Sammie ran ahead of her into the bedroom, lay down on the bed, and pretended that he was sound asleep.
Irene peeked into Katarina’s room and heard her daughter’s steady breathing. The bed in Jenny’s room was still empty.
THE WHOLE family slept in on Saturday morning. Just before ten o’clock, Irene awakened because Sammie was licking her right foot, which had ended up outside the cover. He could never resist feet, the sweatier the better.
“Yuck! Dogs are so disgusting!” she hissed at him and slapped him on the nose.
Krister mumbled something unintelligible and turned over. Irene would have to walk the dog. No activity could be heard from the girls’ rooms; Irene hadn’t expected any.
The sun was shining and it was almost perfectly still. Irene walked down toward Fiskeback’s small boat harbor. Snowdrops and crocuses bloomed in front yards, and Easter lilies were shooting up close to house walls. A slight breeze blew down by the ocean, heavy with the scent of salt and rotten seaweed. Irene filled her lungs and felt revitalized. This was true wealth: having free admission to the ocean.
KATARINA WAS in the process of setting the table and fixing breakfast when Irene came home. As soon as she had taken Sammie’s leash off, he rushed into the kitchen to say that a liver pate sandwich or two would be just the thing. One of the other two members of the family was also up; Irene could hear the shower running upstairs.
“Hi, sweetie. Did you see me sleeping on the couch last night when you got home?” Irene asked.
“Couldn’t miss it. You were snoring,” Katarina replied, smiling teasingly.
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“But hello! I was talking to you, but you were sleeping like you were drugged.”
Irene had to admit that she had probably been very tired. She’d had to put in a lot of overtime on the Schyttelius case during the past week. She and Katarina had hardly seen each other for several days; Irene took this opportunity to bring up a ticklish subject.
“Pappa said that you were thinking about participating in a beauty pageant,” she mentioned in a casual tone of voice.
Katarina’s smile was instantly erased. “Yeah. Fun to try.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean ‘why’?” Katarina said.
“Why are you competing in a beauty pageant?”
“You get to meet a lot of interesting people and travel. You get to be like an ambassador for your city and a role model for other girls. An anti-smoking role model. And you get twenty-five thousand SEK,3 cash. And a chance at a modeling job. It’s really well paid.”
Irene stared at her in shock. About a year ago, this girl had said that all beauty pageants were degrading. What she was saying now sounded memorized and was not particularly convincing. Irene posed the question again: “Why are you
Her daughter’s face froze in anger but when their eyes met, to her surprise Irene saw that Katarina’s were filled with tears.
“To show him that he’s wrong,” she whispered.
Irene took her in her arms. Unconsciously, she rocked Katarina just as she had done when she was small and had come running to her for comfort.
“‘He’? Micke?” she asked.
Katarina nodded and sniffled. They stood like that for a long time.
The sound of the shower upstairs stopped, and Krister could be heard singing in his falsetto bass voice: “
Irene pushed her daughter a short distance away and made eye contact. Katarina was forced to smile through the tears.
“He always sings Stones songs in the shower,” she said.
Mother and daughter burst out laughing. Katarina went to get some tissues to dry her eyes and blow her nose. She stood with her back to Irene. Without turning around, she said in flat voice, “When we. . Micke broke up, he said I was a fat ugly cow.”
“Fat cow! You know that’s not true! That’s the kind of thing people say when they’re upset and angry,” Irene said.
Katarina turned around and looked straight at her.
“No. He was ice-cold. Not a damn bit upset.”
“That can also be a way of showing your anger.”
“He wasn’t angry! Just damned mean!”
Irene nodded and tried to calm the tone of the conversation. “Okay. He was mean. But why do you need to start dieting, and compete in-”
“Like I said, to show him that he’s wrong!”
“What do you prove by competing in this contest?”
“That I’m beautiful and not some stupid fat cow!”
“You don’t prove anything by competing. If you don’t get any farther, you’ll feel like a failure. But it would almost be worse if you won, because life as a beauty queen isn’t the kind of life you really want to live.”
“I want to-” Katarina started, but then stopped herself.
“No, you don’t. You’re good-looking enough, but you’re so much more than that. You’re athletic and active and do well in school. You have a lot of friends and hobbies and I don’t know what all. You’re more than enough as it is. You don’t need to prove a damn thing to yourself, or to anyone else.”
“Who said you’re a fat cow?” came a man’s voice.
Krister stood in the doorway in the white terry-cloth robe Irene had given him as a Christmas present. Neither Irene nor Katarina had heard him come down the stairs. His rusty-red hair was sticking out in all directions. Apparently he had dried it with a towel but not taken the time to comb it.
Irene made a frustrated gesture. “Micke. And that’s why she’s competing in the beauty contest.”
Krister nodded. He stroked Katarina’s cheek and said, “You are letting yourself be manipulated. We men can
