worse if you stay.” Her voice filled the tiny playhouse. “They’ll kill you. Both of you.” She glanced from Jake to his dad, who hadn’t moved. “You said you needed to protect your dad,” she said more quietly. “You need to protect him now by getting out of here.”
Jake stood up. The sudden movement stirred the dust on the floor, making Becca’s nose tickle. “Don’t tell me how to protect him.”
Becca clambered to her feet. She didn’t want him looming over her as she talked. “How are you going to protect him if you stay here?”
“How am I going to protect him if I leave?” Jake glared at some invisible point in the center of the room. For a second he and his dad looked alike, both in their own worlds, staring at something no one else could see. “We have to stay. It’s the only way he’ll ever be safe.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.” Becca put a hand on his shoulder, trying to bring him back, trying to reassure herself that he was still there. He shook her hand off and backed away.
From the corner, a rough voice spoke. “Maybe she’s right.”
Becca turned to face Jake’s dad. He was still sitting in the exact same position; he wasn’t even looking at them. But he had spoken.
“Let me handle this,” said Jake. “I know what I’m doing.
“If we stay here, we’re not safe.” Jake’s dad blinked slowly. “You’re not safe.”
“You think that matters?” Jake shifted restlessly, like he wasn’t sure what to do with his body. “We’ve come this far. I’m not walking away now. I threw away my chance once already. I won’t run and lose the opportunity forever.”
“The opportunity for what?” Becca asked.
Neither of them looked at her.
“If we stay, we’ll die. I’ll lose you like I lost them.” His dad finally turned his head to look at Jake. His face was full of desperation, the same desperation Becca had seen in him when she had gone to their house that day. “What good will it do to kill her if you die too?”
The rest of his words faded into the background, leaving only two ringing in her ears.
Jake stepped between Becca and his dad. His face twisted between rage and panic.
Becca looked past Jake, directing her question to his dad. “Kill who?”
But she didn’t need to hear the answer. She knew it before the name left his lips.
“Raleigh Dalcourt.”
Chapter Nineteen
Becca waited for Jake to deny what his dad had said, to say something—anything—that would make her believe it wasn’t true. But looking at him, she knew he wouldn’t.
“What do you want me to say?” Jake challenged. “Of course I have to kill her. What else am I supposed to do—keep going on like this, watching him get worse and worse every day, waiting for them to come for us again? It’s the only way I can keep him safe. It’s the only thing I can do for Mom and Sarra.” His voice steadied as he spoke. “I can’t undo any of what happened, but I can do this. They’ll probably find me and kill me afterwards, but it doesn’t matter. She’ll be dead. They can’t undo that any more than I can bring Mom and Sarra back.”
Becca wanted Jake to look like a stranger to her. Like a killer. But he looked the same as he had when they had first met, the same as he had a few minutes ago when he had comforted her. She couldn’t keep looking at him—but she couldn’t turn away, either.
She couldn’t breathe.
“Please, Jake,” said his dad from the corner. “Just forget all this. Run like she told you to.”
Jake ignored him.
“Everything between us,” Becca forced out. “Everything you did for me. It was just to get to her, wasn’t it?”
“No!” He barked the word, a desperate denial. “I didn’t expect you to be who you were. I never thought you would be like us. After I knew, all of it was real.”
He reached his hand out to her. She recoiled.
The light in his eyes dimmed, but only for a second. “And because you’re a dissident,” he continued, as if she hadn’t just pulled away, “you understand why I have to do this.”
Becca gaped at him. “You’re talking about killing my mom.”
“I’m talking about killing a torturer.” Jake’s eyes seared into her. “You know what she is.”
Reluctantly, Becca nodded.
“And you still think she deserves to live?” Jake demanded.
“She’s my mother.” It was the only answer she had. It didn’t feel like enough.
“And what about my mother?” Jake’s voice vibrated against the walls. “What about my sister? What about all the other people she tortures and kills every day?”
Becca had nothing to say, no words she could offer that would erase the truth of what Jake had said. She knew what her mom was. What she had done. What she would continue to do, day after day, because her principles demanded it.
“I know you hate what she does,” said Jake. “This is your chance to keep her from hurting anyone else. You don’t even have to do anything. Just get me into the apartment, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
She had to say no. She couldn’t let him kill her mom.
The answer stuck in her throat.
She knew what her mom was. With Anna’s execution still as vivid behind her eyes as it had been the moment she had witnessed it, she couldn’t bring herself to say no. But she couldn’t say yes, either.
Jake shook his head in disgust. “You’re just like the resistance group Sarra was working with. They wouldn’t help me kill her either. All their reasons were nothing but excuses. I know the real reason. You know what needs to be done, but you’re not willing to do it yourself.” He turned away. “You’re all a bunch of hypocrites.”
“If you’re so willing to kill her, why didn’t you do it that time you were over for dinner?” She had brought him into her house. She hadn’t known, hadn’t even suspected. She had insisted that he wasn’t dangerous.
Her mom had been right to be suspicious.
Jake kept his back to her as he answered. “I should have. I meant to. But when I got there, I… couldn’t. I chickened out, and I lost my chance.” His voice hardened; his muscles clenched. “I won’t make that mistake again.”
“You don’t have to do this.” The words were useless. How could she convince Jake that he shouldn’t kill her mom when she wasn’t even sure she believed it herself?
“Listen to Sarra,” his dad urged. “Forget about this.”
“Shut up!” Jake yelled. “I have to do this. I’m doing this for you!”
His dad cowered against the wall.
Jake turned back around to face Becca. “Are you going to help me?”
She saw her answer reflected in his eyes before she knew what she was going to say.
“No,” she told him. “I’m not.”
“Then I’ll have to do it on my own.” He squared his shoulders. “You were right—we don’t have much time left if we stay here. They’ll find us soon. But that just means I need to get this done as soon as possible.”
Becca tried to speak. But she still didn’t know what she wanted to say.
Jake looked at her like he didn’t know her. “It’s time for you to leave.”
She had to stay. She had to convince him not to kill her mom… or help him do what had to be done. She didn’t know. All she knew was that she had to stay.
But like a coward, she left.
Becca sat scrunched against the head of her bed, knees pulled to her chest. Her pillow dangled precariously off the edge, where it had landed when she had shoved it aside. She wrapped her blankets around herself like a
