DS Pirie struggled his way out of the last hedge, just as DCI Finnie was rattling through the gate. They both came to a halt, staring down at Colin McLeod's unconscious body.
Logan coughed, spat more blood, and probed his swollen lump. His head was pounding from the elbow in the forehead. His trousers were clarted in mud, one leg ripped to the knee. 'You took your time.'
Finnie nudged Colin in the ribs with his shoe, then scowled at Logan. Held up a pair of fingers. 'That's two.'
The householder was peering out at them from the safety of the kitchen window. 'I've called the police!'
'I wanted to question him!'
'Yeah, well… he wanted to kill me, so-'
'Oh, I'm sorry. Did I not make myself clear, Sergeant McRae? Were you confused by why we were after Colin McLeod? Or did you think it'd be easier to question him if he was un-bloody-conscious?'
'What? I stopped him, didn't-'
'Don't you dare answer back! When I tell you to-'
'No!' Logan pushed off the fence, lurching forwards till he was nose-to-nose with the DCI. 'You listen to me: I have had enough of your bloody sarcasm. You asked me to watch the back garden: I watched the back garden. And when Colin did a runner I chased him and I stopped him. If it wasn't for me, the bastard would've got away.' His voice getting louder and louder till he was shouting in Finnie's face. 'So I'll answer back if I bloody well like!'
Silence.
The Detective Chief Inspector took a step back, then held up another finger. 'That's three.' And a smile spread across his rubber-lipped features. 'About bloody time too!'
Logan opened his mouth, then shut it again. 'What?'
But Finnie had turned to DS Pirie. 'Was I right? Didn't I tell you?'
'Yup.'
'Tell him what?'
No answer. The DCI just sauntered from the garden, ordering Pirie to 'Escort that back to the station,' as he passed Colin McLeod. Pirie did as he was told, leaving Logan all alone in the ruined back garden. Soaking up the rain.
'What?'
20
'Bloody hell,' said Rennie, 'and I thought Steel looked bad.' Half past eight on Wednesday morning and the constable was making the first tea round of the day, carting a tray full of dirty mugs around the CID office.
Logan scowled up from his desk, and instantly regretted it. His face hurt. By the time he'd clocked in for work this morning, the whole left hand side was puffy and swollen, the bruised skin a psychedelic mixture of purple, blue and green.
'No, seriously,' Rennie collected the mug from Logan's desk and added it to the collection, 'you're like the Elephant Man on a bad day.'
'Didn't think Steel would be in this morning.'
'Oh aye. Smells like she's eaten a pickled skunk. Hungover isn't the word. Tell you, I've seen people look healthier after they've been post-mortemed.' He turned as someone slumped in through the door. 'Oops, speak of the Devil and She will appear.'
Rennie wasn't kidding — DI Steel looked dreadful. Her hair lay on top of her head like a ruptured ferret, black bags under her eyes, face a delicate shade of week-old roadkill, bringing with her a miasma of Chanel № 5, extra strong mints, and stale whisky.
Logan asked how she was feeling, but she just grunted and slouched past, making for the swear box. She picked it up off the little fridge in the corner and frowned. Shook it. Glowered. Opened it. Swore. Her voice was about two octaves lower than usual, marinated in gravel and razorblades. 'What thieving bastard…?' She turned the Quality Street tin upside down, but nothing fell out. It was empty.
Steel threw it to the ground, then kicked it the length of the CID office. 'I put forty quid in that!'
Everyone turned to stare at her.
Rennie winced. 'Maybe-'
'FORTY QUID!'
'We could-'
'WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING POLICE IF YOU BASTARDS JUST STEAL EVERYTHING?' She ground her eyes with the heels of her hands, then stormed off, muttering obscenities.
'Well, that was-'
But DC Rennie didn't get any further, because Steel stuck her head back round the door. 'McRae, my office, now. You,' she pointed at Rennie, 'coffee: milk, two sugars. And get me some bloody cigarettes.' Then she scowled at DS Beattie. 'And Beardy Boy, you're supposed to be a detective. Find out what thieving cock-weasel stole my swear money!'
And then she was gone.
Detective Sergeant Beattie brushed the biscuit crumbs from his beard and said, 'Well, it wasn't me.'
Logan sighed, clambered to his feet, and followed her. Up close the inspector looked even worse. Her pupils were the size of pinheads, floating in a lake of spider-veined pink. She collapsed into her office chair and ran her hands through her hair. 'Mouth feels like a badger's arse…'
'Didn't think you'd be in this morning.'
She stared at him. 'You look like shite.' Then she rummaged through her in-tray. 'Where's Rennie with my sodding fags? And where's my car?'
'I moved it last night, it's parked out back. That all you wanted? Because I've got-'
'Nice try.' The rummaging produced a small stack of colour printouts; she tossed them across the desk. 'E-fits of a bloke who's been spreading his seed all over the city. Literally. Dirty bugger wipes his spunk on handrails and door handles. Shopping centres are a particular favourite.'
'Sounds like a class act…' According to the accompanying notes, the electronic identikit pictures were put together by three different witnesses, all women, who'd only noticed something was horribly wrong after it was all over their hands. The suspect had shoulder-length curly brown hair, long face, squint teeth, sunglasses. Late thirties or early forties.
'I don't see-'
'Get those circulated to the heads of security at every major supermarket in town. And the shopping centres too. The guy's smearing bucket-loads of DNA all over the place, all we need is someone to match it to. Tell them I want called the moment this skanky tosser shows his ugly face. And chase up that lookout request on Rory Simpson, little child-molesting sod's got to be somewhere.'
'Going to have to be tomorrow. Finnie wants me-'
'Oh for God's sake, tell the frog-faced git to take a run and jump. He's-'
'We arrested Colin McLeod last night: attempted murder. He paid a visit to Harry Jordan's head with a claw hammer.'
Steel actually smiled. 'He going to be OK?'
'Probably not.'
'Good.' She coughed, grimaced, then went potholing in her desk again. 'Why have I no' got any paracetamol…?'
'Anyway, I've got to sit in on the interview, and we'll have to make a formal ID, and-'
Bang, crash. DC Rennie backed into the room with a mug of coffee in one hand, a packet of biscuits in the other, and a manila folder tucked under his arm. 'Sorry.'
Steel scowled at him. 'Oh aye, that's right: destroy the bloody place. Where's my fags?'
'Got you three Silk Cut. Had to rob them off DS Griffiths, so if he goes on the rampage you don't know anything about it, OK?'
'Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie.' She held out her hand, and Rennie dropped the cigarettes into it. She lit one,
