Logan glanced up and down the corridor. 'I'll do it if you like? You know, enforce the Good Cop empathy thing? Might help when we go back in with Goulding this afternoon if Gilchrist thinks he's got a friend?'
'Good idea. Just make sure he's back here in…' Finnie checked his watch, 'fifteen minutes. That'll give me time to make a couple of calls.' Logan leant back against the cell wall, reading the advert for Crimestoppers painted on the ceiling above the bed, while Ricky Gilchrist peed his little heart out.
'Ah, Jesus…' It sounded as if he'd swallowed a reservoir.
'You know,' said Logan, when the Niagara Falls impersonation came to a dribbling halt, 'you've never said why she was there.'
'Oh God, that's better…' Zip.
'The woman, in the office building: Krystka Gorzalkowska.'
There was a clunking sound. 'It's still broken! It wouldn't flush last night — I told them. They said they'd fix it.'
'The toilets aren't supposed to flush. That way prisoners can't get rid of evidence they've swallowed or cheeked.'
'But they said they'd fix it!' Gilchrist lurched out of the toilet alcove, wiping his hands on his jeans. 'Not hygienic, is it?'
'Tell me about Krystka Gorzalkowska.'
Blank look.
'The woman in the DVD? The one you left in the office building when you blinded Lubomir Podwoiski?'
Gilchrist sank down onto the blue plastic mattress, knees up against his chest. 'Never bother with names. They don't deserve names. They're just bloody animals…'
For some strange reason, Logan had the sudden urge to grab the little shit by his ginger hair and bash his head off the wall a couple of times. 'Where did you get the DVD, Ricky? Did you film it? Or are you one of the men in the dog masks?'
'They take everything. Polish bastard down the street falls over drunk and breaks his leg — ambulance is there in ten minutes. My mum had a fucking stroke and where was her ambulance? Eh? Half an hour.'
'Did you rape Krystka Gorzalkowska?'
He looked up at Logan, face covered in freckles and utter disgust. 'Are you mad? I'd never filthy myself like that. Do you have any idea how many diseases they carry? I told you: they're animals!'
'Then where did you get the DVD?'
'Some bloke in a pub.' He looked away.
'What bloke?'
'Don't remember.'
'Which pub?'
'Don't remember.'
Logan stared at him. 'Why was she there when you blinded Lubomir Podwoiski?'
Gilchrist smiled, his voice low and unpleasant: 'Everyone's got to be somewhere.'
34
'Come on, just a little sperm, you'll no' miss it, will you?'
Logan turned off the engine. 'Can we just go one day without the sperm talk?'
The ClarkRig Training Systems Ltd car park was busy today, he'd had to squeeze the CID Vauxhall in between a Nissan Skyline and a filthy minibus with 'BRUDAS ~ STRONG TEAM!!!' finger-painted in the grime. There was only just enough room to open the doors.
'Don't be so wet.' Steel popped another little white pellet of nicotine gum, chewing with her mouth open as they marched over to the entrance.
The old lady on reception told them Zander wasn't in his editing suite today, he was filming. Then she ushered them through in to the studio.
It looked a lot like a converted warehouse, because that's what it was. A large soundstage sat in the middle of the space, everything painted in the same shade of bright blue and covered in a grid of little yellow markers. There was a half-sized humpbacked bridge made of chipboard; two rows of boxes for a riverbank; and a pair of plastic Victorian lampposts, the kind you got in DIY stores for the garden. A big lighting rig hung above everything, showering it in a golden glow.
The only things onstage not painted Chroma Key blue were the three people on top of the bridge. Two women, one man, grinding away, stark naked.
Steel froze. 'Oooh… will you look at that…'
A camera swooped in on the end of a long, counterbalanced pole, worked by two blokes who wouldn't have looked out of place in a zoo.
Someone pressed play, and music belted out of a portable stereo.
As Logan watched, a small rowing boat slid out from beneath the bridge. There were little men in the boat. Little men dressed in white dungarees, brown turtlenecks, and white gloves. Little men with orange faces, white eyebrows, and green hair.
Logan blinked twice, but they were still there. 'Oh, you have got to be kidding.'
And then they started to sing. 'What do you get with a dose of VD? An itch in your crotch, and it burns when you pee, I bet you wish that you'd worn a condom, Now we are singing our song, Humpa Lumpa…' Steel stood, rooted to the spot, with her mouth hanging open. Making giggling noises.
When the song was finished, someone yelled 'Cut! Well done everyone; let's get set up for the next shot.' Zander Clark hauled himself out from behind a monitor and marched towards the bridge and its naked tableau.
'Doug, I want you to remember your motivation in this scene, OK?'
Doug stopped what he was doing, and turned to face the director. 'How come I'm the only one who doesn't get a song?'
Logan followed Steel onto the set as the director hummed and hawed for a bit. 'Well, you see, Doug… you know personally I think you're fabulous… But it's-'
'Excuse me, Mr Clark,' said Logan, stopping just short of where the fabulous Doug was playing with himself, 'but can we have a quick word?'
Zander, threw his hands in the air and made a noise like a dying balloon. 'How am I supposed to create when…' He stopped. 'I know that voice.' The director turned with a huge smile on his face. 'Sergeant McRae, Inspector Steel, how nice to see you again. Did you enjoy the films?'
'I mean, doesn't have to be a big song or anything,' said Doug, still keeping his lower portions amused, 'I just want-'
'Hoy!' Steel grimaced at Doug's erection. 'Don't point that thing at me. Might go off.'
'Anyway,' Zander clapped his hands, 'I'm sorry to be rude, but we do have a shooting schedule to stick to. So…?'
'Ah, right.' Logan dug the DVD copy from his pocket. 'We wanted you to take a look at this.'
'Really?' He turned the disk over in his thick fingers, the overhead lights sparking off the silver surface. 'I could probably run through it tonight, if you like?' And then he frowned, reading the label. 'Ah.'
'We wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.'
Fabulous Doug coughed. 'Is this going to take long?' He nodded in the direction of the fire escape, and mimed smoking a cigarette with his free hand. 'You know?'
The director nodded, not taking his eyes off the disk. 'Just make sure you keep your robe fastened this time — don't let anyone see you playing 'keepy-up'.' Zander turned to cast and crew. 'We're going to take a short break, people. I want you back here and ready to go in forty, OK?' The editing suite was in darkness, just the flickering pink light coming from the bank of monitors as Zander Clark played 'KRYSTKA GET'S F*CK~D DIRTY 3-WAY!!!*!'. Finally the screens went black and he clicked on an Anglepoise lamp.
'That was horrible. I mean, not just the production values — which were dreadful, by the way — but the whole thing.
