patch in the dust. Think you can do better?
Rhona gave a lopsided shrug. A monkey could do better.
Oh, ha, ha. It s cold, I ve been on since seven this morning, and I m not in the bloody mood.
I held up a hand. All right, that s enough. No fighting.
They scowled at each other.
God help us. Sheila: do me a favour and make sure a car cruises by every hour or so, OK?
Yes, Guv.
I left her to pack up, and followed Rhona back around to the front of the house, torchlight picking a path through the darkness.
More sniffing. You don t think it s a junkie, do you?
Depends where Sensational Steve Wallace was tonight.
The front door opened as we got there. Dr McDonald stood on the threshold, one arm wrapped around herself, pressing Wilberforce the stuffed puffin to her chest, the other hand fiddling with her hair.
Is he gone?
Rhona took out her notebook. You see someone?
A nod, sending brown curls bouncing. It was dark: I didn t see his face, but he was wearing a thick coat and a woolly hat, and what if he comes back?
Patrol car ll swing past through the night. Now, if there s nothing
Ash, will you stay, please, I mean there s plenty of spare rooms and I really don t want to be stuck here on my own if he comes back, Aunty Jan s got the dogs with her and what if it wasn t a burglar, what if it was someone after me?
Rhona squared her shoulders. Think you re really special, don t you?
I m only
You think the Birthday Boy s after you, cos Rhona put on a big theatrical voice. You re the only one who can stop him! A snort.
Seriously?
It s not
That kinda thing only happens in the movies, Princess. Serial killers don t stalk the investigating team, they stay the hell away from the police.
Dr McDonald took a step back. Oh Bit her bottom lip. Looked away.
All right, Rhona, that s enough. Not her fault she s scared.
Oh, come on, for all we know she s making it all up to get attention. Could ve scratched the back door herself, and the description s not exactly
I said that s enough.
Dr McDonald gave the puffin a squeeze. Please, Ash?
Come on, Guv, I m just saying: it wasn t the Birthday
Please?
I lay flat on the bed, in the dark, in an unfamiliar room, watching a sliver of light sweep across the ceiling headlights on a car outside, going by.
All this time with nothing and then Steven Wallace comes along. Let it be him. Let the bastard be the one.
I ran my fingers over the surface of the small velvet box Little Mike gave me. Rough in one direction, smooth in the other, a sunken line where the lid and the base fitted together.
Let Steven Wallace be the fucker that killed Rebecca.
Four years of looking, and lying, and waiting. Four years of everything broken. Four years praying for a chance to catch the bastard: to be there when he confessed, to watch him go down for the rest of his miserable life. To tell Rebecca that I got him
A knock on the door.
Ash?
I stuck the box under my pillow. Hello?
The door opened. A silhouette in flannel jammies stood in the hall outside, head shrouded in curls. I wanted She cleared her throat. Thank you for staying.
Try and get some sleep, OK?
You re a great dad. She closed the door, leaving me alone in the darkness again.
I wrapped my hand around his throat and squeezed.
Saturday 19th November
Chapter 34
The smell of sizzling bacon drifted through the house as I pulled my socks from the pile of clothes on the floor. Sniffed them. Good enough for another day. Have to pop past Rhona s at some point and pick up clean clothes, though. Goosepimples rippled across my bare skin, still damp from the shower.
One sock on, and my phone rang: MICHELLE.
I closed my eyes, took a breath. Perfect way to start the day. I answered it anyway; tried to sound cheery. Is she giving you any more
What the buggering fuck do you think you re playing at? Raising your daughter on my own is tough enough without you undermining me every two minutes!
I sank onto the edge of the bed and dragged out the other sock.
Good morning, Ash, how are you today.
Don t you bloody start with me, Ash Henderson: you know fine well Katie s grounded. Honestly, how am I supposed to maintain any kind of discipline when you pull shit like this?
Dr McDonald s voice came from somewhere downstairs.
ASH? BREAKFAST S NEARLY READY. DO YOU WANT TEA?
I m hanging up, Michelle. Pulled on the other sock.
That s your bloody answer to everything, isn t it? Run away. You can t take Katie and not tell me!
Take? I didn t take anyone anywhere. What the hell are you irresponsible arsehole. Why did I think you could change?
Katie isn t with you? Something curdled deep inside my stomach.
I don t know why I even bother, you
Michelle! Will you shut up for two seconds. Where s Katie?
A pause. She s staying at your house.
No she isn t.
Her note says she s
My place is all boarded up: flooded, I ve not been back since yesterday morning. How could you let her out of your sight?
Ash? Something went thump on the other end of the phone. Oh God, what if she s run away? What if she s run away like Rebecca? What if we never see our baby ever again?
No. Not this. Not again. I swallowed. You said she left a note.
Oh God, Ash, what if she s gone?
The note, Michelle what does it say?
I shouted at her when I got home. What was I supposed to do, she got expelled!
She s She s probably just sulking: punishing us for not taking her side against the school. Katie ll be at one of her friends houses. Please, please let her be at one of her friends houses.
Now read me the bloody note!
I shouted at her
Michelle, will you calm
A knock. Then the door swung open, and there was Dr McDonald, standing in the hall: a blue pinny tied over
