She bit her bottom lip. Sat back in her seat. Looked down at her lap. He s not answering his phone.
The engine purred into life, and we were moving again, falling through the snow, fat white flakes like starbursts in the cold morning light.
There was an egg sandwich in my lap. I stared at it, but it didn t do anything. Rebecca liked egg sandwiches. She had this this imaginary friend when she was wee, she said he was a cereal killer. Every time we found all the Sugar Puffs gone, it would be Naughty Nigel s fault. Wasn t so keen on Bran Flakes though. I rested my cheek against the passenger window, cool and smooth. It s been such a long time.
I m sorry she ran away.
She didn t run away. He took her.
The Kingsway was busy, cars and buses carving their way across Dundee s back, avoiding its vital organs. Off to the right, the retail park where the Party Crashers had camped out on the fifth floor of a chain hotel drifted by at fifty miles an hour. Only a week ago, but it might as well have been months.
I cradled the egg sandwich against my chest like a baby. We didn t know what happened to her Michelle still doesn t. One day Rebecca was there, and we were planning this big party, and the next she was gone. No note, no word. I got the first card on Rebecca s fourteenth birthday. Happy birthday! The number one scratched into the top corner, so I d know there d be more to come.
The heroin tingled in my fingers and toes, as if they were going to break free and fly away. I keep them all in this cigar box Rebecca gave me for Christmas when she was six. Don t know where she found it, but she painted it and covered it in sequins and glitter And that s where I hide them.
But why didn t you
They would ve taken me off the case. I d have to sit on my arse and watch them screw it all up. Never told anyone, not even Michelle. At least this way she gets to hope.
Ash, she needs to know or she can t move on, she
Sometimes it s better not to know. A shrug. Doesn t matter anyway: they found Rebecca yesterday, remember? The extra body in the park, with all the others. My little girl in a hole in the ground, her bones stained the colour of old blood.
Oh, Ash. Alice squeezed my arm. I m so sorry.
Me too. I turned back to the window. Stared out at the snow. He won t use Cameron Park any more, not now we ve crawled all over it We ll never find Katie s body.
Everything was getting heavier, gravity hauling my body down into the seat. Pulling my eyelids shut. So difficult to move.
Ash?
Should ve taken another one of Dawson s stolen amphetamines.
Leave me alone Cold wrapped its arms around me and heaved. Dragged me out into the snow. I looked up into a grey sky turned almost white. Soft icy kisses on my cheeks.
A face peered down at me. A woman s voice. I don t like this. Alice: he needs to go to the hospital.
Please, Aunty Jan, we have to. Alice stroked my forehead. He needs me.
I must be mad A big, heavy sigh. All right, all right: grab his feet. But if he dies, you re the one explaining it to the police, understand?
Thanks, Aunty Jan.
I blinked up at a white ceiling; kitchen cabinets lurked around the edges; the sound of a kettle boiling. I was inside How did I get inside? Got to get up and find Katie.
Will you bloody hold him still! This is hard enough as it is.
Something heavy on my arms and legs.
Sorry.
Christ, what a mess
Someone was kicking me in the head. I peeled an eye open, but the bastard was invisible.
Up above me the ceiling was dappled with animal-shaped shadows, slowly rotating around a hazy sun. My mouth was two sizes too small for my head, the inside of my cheeks lined with sandpaper, tongue forced inside a cage of teeth. Something sticky on my face.
I put a hand up to scratch it away, but someone caught my wrist.
No. Alice pushed my arm back down by my side.
How are you feeling?
Like I d been hit by one of those tankers they used to empty septic tanks. Thirsty.
Here. She pressed a bottle to my lips and I drank, gulping it down, getting half of it all over my chin and neck. Not caring.
Aunty Jan fixed you up.
A face loomed over me the same one from the kitchen. Bobbed hair jelled into spikes on one side, a face pinched around narrowed eyes. Lucky you didn t lose that foot. What were you thinking?
Told you she s a great vet.
I held out a hand and Alice hauled me up till I was sitting in a single bed. My stomach lurched. I gritted my teeth, swallowed hard. Held onto the mattress in case it soared away. Looked down.
My right foot was encased in professional-looking bandages, wrapped so tightly I couldn t feel a thing.
Alice s aunt folded her arms. I ve done a nerve block lidocaine, epinephrine, and a corticosteroid. The whole thing will be numb below the knee, but that doesn t mean you can go out and run a marathon. The bullet sheared through your second metatarsal, right now the only thing holding your toe on is skin and some stitches. You ll need a bone graft. A nod. Keep that foot elevated or you re going to end up with an oedema, septicaemia, and probably gangrene. That sound like fun to you?
Didn t hurt at all. You re a genius. I swung my legs out of bed and the room whooshed around my head, doing a lap of honour. Christ
You need to rest. And shower. You absolutely reek.
What time is it?
You ve lost a lot of blood, you need to
What s the bloody time?
Silence.
Then Alice held up her watch. Two o clock.
Three hours.
Chapter 46
The Snooze-U-Like Inn on Martyr Road was a Rubik s cube, where all the sides were the same colour: grey. Henry s ancient Volvo estate was the only thing in the car park until Alice slid the Renault in next to it.
She looked up at the bland frontage with its little square windows. Snow drifted down from the gunmetal sky. Still nothing?
I fidgeted with the collar on my borrowed shirt. Everything Alice s uncle owned was just a bit too big, but at least it didn t stink of blood and sweat and vomit. Come on, Henry, answer the bloody phone It rang through to voicemail again. I hung up.
She hopped out of the car, breath pluming around her head.
I ll go get him.
Five minutes later and there was still no sign of her.
I climbed out into the cold.
It took me a dozen steps to get used to the cane Alice s aunt Jan had lent me leaning on the polished mahogany handle every time my right foot touched the ground, lurching from side to side as I hobbled towards the hotel entrance.
The nerve block was great couldn t feel a thing.
I pushed through into the reception area. Scuffed carpet tiles, faded wallpaper, dusty plastic pot plants, and a bored-looking man behind the desk.
