peace with the Seanchan and food for these people. He could not solve everyone's problems. He could just force them into abeyance long enough for him to die at Shayol Ghul.
And thereby leave the world to break again once he was gone. He gritted his teeth. He had already wasted too much time worrying about things he could not fix.
So many things to balance. So many problems. He couldn't fix them all. He
'I don't approve of this, Rand,' Nynaeve said, standing beside the door, arms folded. 'And we're not done talking about Lan, either.'
Rand waved a dismissive hand.
'He's
The colors swirled before his eyes, revealing an image of Perrin standing by a tent with Galad. Why was Perrin with
Rand frowned to himself. He could feel a pull from Perrin and Mat, both distant. It was their
'Rand?' Nynaeve asked. 'Aren't you going to respond?'
'About Perrin and Mat?' Rand asked. 'They live.'
'How do you know?'
'I simply do.' He sighed, shaking his head. 'And they had better remain alive. I'll have need of them both before this is over.'
'Rand!' she said. 'They're your friends!'
'They're threads in the Pattern, Nynaeve,' he said, rising. 'I barely know them anymore, and I suspect they would say the same thing of me.'
'Don't you care about them?'
'Care?' Rand walked down the steps of the raised platform that held his throne. 'What I care about is the Last Battle. What I care about is making peace with the Light-cursed Seanchan so that I can stop bothering with their squabble and get to the real battle. Beside those cares, a pair of boys from my little village are meaningless.'
He looked at her, challenging. Ramshalan and the other attendants backed away quietly, not wanting to be caught between his gaze and Nynaeve.
She was silent, although her face took on a profound sadness. 'Oh, Rand,' she finally said. 'You can't go on like this. This hardness within you, it will break you.'
'I do what I must,' he said, anger creeping into him. Would he never hear the end of complaints about his choices?
'This isn't what you must do, Rand,' she said. 'You're going to destroy yourself. You'll—'
Rand's anger surged. He spun, pointing at her. 'Would you end up exiled like Cadsuane, Nynaeve?' he bellowed. 'I will
She recoiled, and Rand gritted his teeth, forcing the anger back down. His lowered his hand, but realized it had begun to reach reflex-ively for the access key in the pocket at his side. Nynaeve's eyes fixed on it, opening wide, and he slowly forced his hand away from the statuette.
The explosion surprised him. He had thought his temper controlled. He forced it down, and had a surprisingly difficult time of it. He turned and stalked from the room, throwing open the door, his Maidens following him. 'I will have no more audiences today,' he told the attendants who tried to follow him. 'Go and do as I have told you! I need the other members of the merchant council. Go!'
They scattered. Only the Aiel remained, guarding him as he made his way to the rooms he had claimed in the mansion.
A short time longer. He only had to keep things balanced a short time longer. Then it could end. And he found that he was beginning to look forward to that end as much as Lews Therin did.
/
CHAPTER 32
Rivers of Shadow
Nynaeve stood on the broad wall around Bandar Eban, looking down over the darkened city. The wall was on the inland side of the city, but Bandar Eban was built on a slope, so she could see out over it, past the city, toward the ocean beyond. The night fog rolled in across the waters, hanging above a crisp black mirror sea. It seemed like a reflection of the clouds high above. Those clouds glowed with a phantom pearl light, cast by a moon she could not see.
The fog did not reach the city; it rarely did. It hung over the ocean, churning. Like the ghost of a forest fire, stopped by some unseen barrier.
She could still feel the storm to the north. It called on her to ride through the streets, shouting warning. Flee to the cellars! Store up food, for a disaster will strike! Unfortunately, packing earth or reinforcing walls would not help against this tempest. It was of a different sort entirely.
The ocean fog was often herald to winds, and this night was no exception. She pulled her shawl close, smelling brine on the air. It mixed with the inevitable scents of an overcrowded city. Refuse, packed bodies, soot and smoke from fires and stoves. She missed the Two Rivers. The winds there were cold in the winters, but they were always fresh. Bandar Eban's winds always felt slightly
There would never again be a place for her in the Two Rivers. She knew this, though it hurt her. She was Aes Sedai now; it had become who she was, more important to her now than being Wisdom had once been. With the One Power, she could Heal people in a way that still seemed a marvel. And with the authority of the White Tower behind her, she was one of the most powerful individuals in the world, matched only by other sisters and the occasional monarch.
And in regard to monarchs, she herself was married to a king. He might not have a kingdom, but Lan
Still, it was difficult not to feel wistful, particularly when watching the night fogs.
'There,' Merise said, voice edged with tension. She, along with Cadsuane and Corele, stood looking in the other direction—not southwest over the city and ocean, but east. Nynaeve had almost decided against accompanying the group, as she had little doubt that Cadsuane partly blamed Nynaeve for her exile. However, the prospect of seeing the apparitions had been too enticing.
Nynaeve turned from the city and crossed the top of the wall, joining the others. Corele glanced at her, but Merise and Cadsuane ignored her. That suited Nynaeve. Though it did continue to irk her that Corele—of the Yellow Ajah—was so guarded in her acceptance of Nynaeve. Corele was pleasant, consoling, yet sternly unwilling to admit that Nynaeve was also a member of the Yellow. Well, the woman would have to change ruts eventually,