He moved over to the window again and stared at the buildings opposite and the roofs shining in the sun. There was not even any point in evading it. It would hurt him until he found out what had happened, who she was and why he had felt so passionately, and yet walked away from it, and from her. Why were mere no mementos in his room that reminded him of her, no pictures, no letters, nothing at all? Presumably the idea of her was one thing too painful to wish to remember. The reality was quite different. This would go on hurting. He would wake in the night with scalding disillusion-and terrible loneliness. For once he could easily, terribly easily, understand those who ran away.
And yet it was also too important to forget, because his mind would not let him bury it. Echoes kept tugging at him, half glimpses of her face, a gesture, a color she wore, the way she walked, the softness of her hair, her perfume, the rustle of silk. For heaven's sake, why not her name? Why not all her face?
There was nothing he could do here over the weekend. The trial was adjourned and he had nowhere else to search for the third man. It was up to Rathbone now.
He turned from the window and strode over to the coat stand, snatching a jacket and his hat and going out of the door, only just saving it from slamming behind him.
“But you'll be back then?” she said firmly, wiping her hands on her apron. She was an ample woman, friendly and businesslike. “You'll be at the trial of that woman again?”
He was surprised. He had not thought she knew.
“Yes-I will.”
She shook her head. “I don't know what you want to be on cases like that for, I'm sure. You've come a long way down, Mr. Monk, since you was in the police. Then you'd 'a bin chasin' after people like that, not tryin” to 'elp them.”
“You'd have killed him too, in her place, if you'd had the courage, Mrs. Worley,” he said bitingly. “So would any woman who gave a damn.”
“I would not,” she retorted fiercely. “Love o' no man's ever goin' to make me into a murderess!”
“You know nothing about it. It wasn't love of a man.”
“You watch your tongue, Mr. Monk,” she said briskly. “I know what I read in die newspapers as comes 'round the vegetables, and they're plain enough.”
“They know nothing, either,” he replied. “And fancy you reading the newspapers, Mrs. Worley. What would Mr. Worley say to that? And sensational stories, too.” He grinned at her, baring his teeth.
She straightened her skirts with a tweak and glared at him.
“That isn't your affair, Mr. Monk. What I read is between me and Mr. Worley.”
“It's between you and your conscience, Mrs. Worley-it's no one else's concern at all. But they still know nothing. Wait till the end of the trial-then tell me what you think.”
“Ha!” she said sharply, and turned on her heel to go back to the kitchen.
He caught the train and alighted at Guildford in the middle of the morning. It was a matter of another quarter of an hour before a hansom deposited him outside the police station and he went up the steps to the duty sergeant at the desk.
“Yes sir?” The man's face registered dawning recognition. “Mr. Monk? 'Ow are you, sir?” There was respect in his voice, even awe, but Monk did not catch any fear. Please God at least here he had not been unjust.
“I'm very well, thank you, Sergeant,” he replied courteously. “And yourself?”
The sergeant was not used to being asked how he was, and his face showed his surprise, but he answered levelly enough.
“I'm well, thank you sir. What can I do for you? Mr. Markham's in, if it was 'im you was wanting to see? I ain't 'eard about another case as we're needin' you for; it must be very new.” He was puzzled. It seemed impossible there could be a crime so complicated they needed to call in Scotland Yard and yet it had not crossed his desk. Only something highly sensitive and dangerous could be so classed, a political assassination, or a murder involving a member of the aristocracy.
“I'm not with the police anymore,” Monk explained. There was little to be gained and everything to be risked by lying. “I've gone private.” He saw the man's incredulity and smiled. “A difference of opinion over a case-a wrongful arrest, I thought.”
The man's face lightened with intelligence. “That'd be the Moidore case,” he said with triumph.
“That's right!” It was Monk's turn to be surprised.”How did you know about that?”
“Read it, sir. Know as you was right.” He nodded with satisfaction, even if it was a trifle after the event. “What can we do for you now, Mr. Monk?”
Again honesty was the wisest. So far the man was a friend, for whatever reason, but that could easily slip away if he lied to him and were caught.
“I’ve forgotten some of the details of the case I came here for, and I'd like to remind myself. I wondered if it would be possible to speak with someone. I realize it's Saturday, and those who worked with me might be off duty, but today was the only day I could leave the City. I'm on a big case.”
“No difficulty, sir. Mr. Markham's right 'ere in the station, an' I expect as 'e'd be 'appy to tell you anything you wanted. It was 'is biggest case, an”e's always 'appy to talk about it again.” He moved his head in the direction of the door leading off to the right. “If you go through there, sir, you'll find 'im at the back, like always. Tell 'im I sent you.”
“Thank you, Sergeant,” Monk accepted, and before it became obvious that he did not remember the man's name, he went through the door and through the passageway. Fortunately the direction was obvious, because he remembered none of it.
Sergeant Markham was standing with his back to Monk, and as soon as Monk saw him there was something in the angle of his shoulders and the shape of his head, the set of his arms, that woke a memory and suddenly he was back investigating the case, full of anxiety and hard, urgent fear.
Then Markham turned and looked at him, and the moment vanished. He was in the present again, standing in a strange police duty room facing a man who knew him, and yet about whom he knew nothing except that they had worked together in the past. His features were only vaguely familiar; his eyes were blue like a million Englishmen, his skin fair and pale so early in the season, his hair still thick, bleached by sun a little at the front.
“Yes sir?” he enquired, seeing first of all Monk's civilian clothes. Then he looked more closely at his face, and recognition came flooding back. “Why, it's Mr. Monk.” The eagerness was tempered. There was admiration in his eyes, but caution as well. “ 'Ow are you, sir? Got another case?” The interest was well modified with other emotions less sanguine.
“No, the same as before.” Monk wondered whether to smile, or if it would be so uncharacteristic as to be ridiculous. The decision was quickly made; it was false and it would freeze on his face. “I've forgotten some of the details and for reasons I can't explain, I need to remind myself, or to be exact, I need your help to remind me. You still have the records?”
“Yes sir.” Markham was obviously surprised, and there was acceptance in his expression as habit. He was used to I obeying Monk and it was instinctive, but there was no com prehension.
“I'm not on the force anymore.” He dared not deceive Markham.
Now Markham was totally incredulous.
“Not on the force.” His whole being registered his amazement. “Not-not-on the force?” He looked as if he did not understand the words themselves.
“Gone private,” Monk explained, meeting his eyes.”I 've got to be back in the Old Bailey on Monday, for the Carlyon case, but I want to get these details today, if I can.”
“What for, sir?” Markham had a great respect for Monk, but he had also learned from him, and knew enough to accept no one's word without substantiation, or to take an order from a man with no authority. Monk would have criticized him unmercifully for it in the past.
“My own private satisfaction,” Monk replied as calmly as he could. “I want to be sure I did all I could, and that I was right. And I want to find the woman again, if I can.” Too late he realized how he had betrayed himself.
