The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Anyway, today I decided to sit in the front with my legs over the whole seat. Kind of like I was lying down with my back to the window. I did this so I could look back at the other kids on the bus. I'm glad school buses don't have seat belts, or else I wouldn't have been able to do it.

The one thing I noticed was how different everyone looked. When we were all little, we used to sing songs on the bus ride home from the last day of school. The favorite song was a Pink Floyd song, I found out later, called Another Brick in the Wall, Part II. But there was this other song we loved even more because it ended with a swear. It went like this…

No more pencils ar no more books ar no more teachers' dirty looks ar when the teacher rings the bell ar drop your books and run like hell.

When we finished, we looked at the bus driver for a tense second. Then, we all laughed because we knew we could get in trouble for swearing, but the strength of our numbers would prevent any retribution. We were too young to know that the bus driver didn't care about our song. That all he wanted to do was go home after work. And maybe sleep off the drinks he had at lunch. Back then, it didn't matter. The nerds and the squids were one.

My brother came home Saturday night. And he looked even more different than the kids on the school bus looked compared to the beginning of the year. He had a beard! I was so happy! He also smiled different and was more 'courteous.' We all sat down to dinner, and everyone asked him questions about college. Dad asked about football. Mom asked about classes. I asked for all the fun stories. My sister asked nervous questions about what college is 'really' like and would she put on the 'freshman fifteen'? I don't know what this is, but I'm guessing it means you get fatter.

I was expecting my brother to just talk and talk about himself for a long time. He would do that whenever there was a big game in high school or the prom or something. But he seemed a lot more interested in what we were all doing, especially my sister with her graduation.

So, while they were talking, I suddenly remembered the TV news sports man and what he said about my brother. I got so excited. And I told my whole family. And this is what happened as a result.

My dad said, 'Hey! How about that?!'

My brother said, 'Really!?'

I said, 'Yeah. I talked to him.'

My brother said, 'Did he say something good?'

My father said, 'Any press is good press.' I don't know where my father learns these things.

My brother kept going. 'What did he say?'

I said, 'Well, I think he said that college sports puts a lot of pressure on the students who do them.' My brother kept nodding. 'But he said that it built character. And he said that Penn State was looking really good with their recruitment. And he mentioned you.'

My dad said, 'Hey! How about that?'

My brother said, 'Really?'

I said, 'Yeah. I talked to him.'

My brother said, 'When did you talk to him?'

I said, 'A couple weeks ago.'

And then I froze because I suddenly remembered the other part. The fact that I met the man in the park at night. And the fact that I gave him one of my cigarettes. And the fact that he was trying to pick me up. I just sat there, hoping it would go away. But it didn't.

'Where did you meet him, honey?' my mom asked.

The room turned pins and needles quiet. And I did my best impersonation of myself when I can't remember something. And here's what's going on inside my head.

Okay… he came to school to have a talk with the class… no… my sister would know it was a lie… I met him at the Big Boy… he was with his family… no… my dad would scold me for bothering the 'poor man'… he said it on a news cast… but I said I talked to him… wait…

'In the park. I was there with Patrick,' I said.

My dad said, 'Was he there with his family? Did you bother the poor man?'

'No. He was alone.'

That was enough for my dad and everybody else, and I didn't even have to lie. Luckily, the attention was turned off me when my mother said what she likes to say when we're all together celebrating something.

'Who's in the mood for ice cream?'

Everyone was except for my sister. I think she was worried about the 'freshman fifteen.'

The next morning started early. I still hadn't heard from Patrick or Sam or anybody, but I knew I would see them at graduation, so I tried not to worry too much. All my relatives, including my dad's family from Ohio, came to the house around ten A.M. The two families really don't like each other, except for all us younger cousins because we don't know any better.

We had this big brunch with champagne, and just like last year for my brother's graduation, my mom gave her dad (my grandfather) sparkling apple juice instead of champagne because she didn't want him to get drunk and make a scene. And he said the same thing he said last year.

'This is good champagne.'

I don't think he knew the difference because he's a beer drinker. Sometimes, whiskey.

Around twelve-thirty, brunch was over. All the cousins drove all the cars because the adults were still a little too drunk to drive to the graduation. Except for my dad, because he was too busy videotaping everyone with a camera he rented from the video store.

'Why buy a camera when you only need it three times a year?'

So, my sister, brother, dad, mom, and I each had to go in a different car to make sure nobody got lost. I went with all my Ohio cousins, who promptly pulled out a 'joint' and passed it around. I didn't smoke any of it because I wasn't in the mood, and they said what they always say.

'Charlie, you're such a pussy.'

So, all the cars pulled into the parking lot, and we all got out. And my sister yelled at my cousin Mike for rolling down the window while he was driving and messing up her hair.

'I was smoking a cigarette,' was his reply.

'Couldn't you wait ten minutes?' was my sister's.

'But it was a great song,' was his final word.

So, as my dad was getting the video camera out of the trunk, and my brother was talking to some of the graduating girls who were a year older and 'looking good,' my sister went for my mom to get my mom's purse. The great thing about my mom's purse is that no matter what you need at any given moment, she has it. When I was little, I used to call it the 'first-aid kit' because that's all we needed back then. I still can't figure out how she does it.

After primping, my sister followed the trail of graduation caps to the field, and we all found our way to the bleachers. I sat in between my mom and brother since my dad was off getting a better camera angle. And my mom kept shushing my grandfather, who kept talking about how many black people were in the school.

When she couldn't stop him, she mentioned my story about the TV news sports man talking about my brother. This made my grandfather call my brother over to talk about it. This was smart on my mom's part because my brother is the only person who can get my grandfather to stop making a scene because he's really direct about it. After the story, this is what happened…

'Jesus. Look at these bleachers. How many colored people-' My brother cut him off.

'Okay, Grandpa. Here's the deal. If you embarrass us one more time, I'm going to drive you back to the nursing home, and you'll never see your granddaughter give a speech.' My brother is real tough.

'But then you won't see the speech either, big shot.' My grandfather's real tough, too.

'Yeah, but my dad is videotaping it. And I can arrange it so I get to see the tape, and you don't. Can't I?'

My grandfather has a really weird smile. Especially when someone else wins. He didn't say anything more about it. He just started talking about football and didn't even mention anything about my brother playing on a team with black kids. I can't tell you how bad it was last year since my brother was on the field graduating instead of up in the bleachers making my grandfather stop.