Sick

She walked past him to the next door down. “We’ll try this one.”

But it was as empty as the others, and so were the final two after that.

“We haven’t checked that one yet,” he said, nodding at the door they’d skipped.

She stared across the hall at it for several seconds, then finally said, “Okay.”

When he opened the door, the new ward looked exactly like all the others. He walked in and checked the first room. Empty. As he stepped back out, he noticed that Chloe was standing in the ward doorway, her feet not having crossed the threshold.

“You okay?” he asked.

She gave him a quick nod, but didn’t say anything.

He knew this must have been where she’d been imprisoned. He wondered what they’d done to her, what had affected her so deeply.

He walked over to the room directly across the hall and looked inside. It was a mirror image of the first room. He moved to the room next door-same again-then crossed over to its opposite.

When he flicked on the light this time, he got a surprise. The room was furnished. There were two hospital beds, two tables that could be rolled into position so a patient could use them, a padded chair by the door, and a cabinet between the beds.

He walked all the way in.

“What is it?” Chloe called out.

“This one’s not empty.”

There were no sheets on the beds, but the mattresses themselves looked new. He leaned down to take a cautious sniff. Neither smelled of age or decay.

He checked the cabinet, then searched the rest of the room to see if anything had been left behind. The only thing he came up with was a hair, thin and brown and long, that had fallen between the mattress and the headboard of one of the beds. It could have belonged to a million different people, a billion even, but it could have also belonged to Josie. Had his children really been here? Was it possible?

He carefully rolled up the hair, put it in the change pocket of his jeans, then continued searching the room but found nothing else. When he turned to leave he was surprised to see Chloe standing at the door.

“I…I had the same kind of bed,” she said, her eyes flicking to the left down the hall, unconsciously looking in the direction of the room Ash assumed had been hers. “But it was…it was only me. Your kids are lucky they have each other.”

“There’s no way to know if they have each other,” Ash said. “I don’t even know if they were really here.” He looked back toward the beds, trying to hold himself together. “The only thing we know for sure is that theyaren’there now.”

When he looked back, Chloe wasn’t in the doorway any more. He exited the room, assuming she’d be back at the ward door, but instead she was standing in the middle of the hall, staring at the last room on the right.

“Let’s go,” he said. “There’s no reason to stay here.”

But as he took a step toward the exit, she didn’t move.

“Chloe?”

Without looking at him, she said, “Matt’s…Matt’s inside person…is the same one who helped me.” The words were obviously causing her a great deal of distress, but Ash couldn’t understand why. “He would…leave me…messages. You know…so I’d know I wasn’t…alone. That helped me to survive.”

“You don’t need to torture yourself like this,” Ash said. “Come on.”

“Matt told him I was coming with you,” she went on as if she hadn’t heard him. “If something…changed, he…might have left me…a note.”

Ash took a step toward her, suddenly hopeful. “A note?”

She continued to stare at the door. “We don’t even know if…he got Matt’s initial message…but if…if…if he did…”

“If he did, what, Chloe?”

She took a couple of deep breaths. “He would probably leave it somewhere only I would know.”

“Where?”

The silence stretched out for a dozen seconds, then she said in a barely audible voice, “In my room.”

“It’s okay,” Ash said, trying to calm her down. “Just tell me where it is, and I’ll check.”

Her head began shaking left and right. “No. I have to do it. It’s my spot. My place only.”

Her breath shuttered in and out one more time, then she took a step toward the door, then another step and another, each coming quicker than the last. When she reached the room, she went inside without hesitating.

Ash wasn’t sure what to do. Should he let her look on her own or should he help? When half a minute passed and she hadn’t reappeared, he decided he needed to see what was going on.

As he opened the door, he could hear her sobbing.

“Chloe?” he said, rushing in.

She wasn’t there.

“Chloe?”

Another sob, this one from his left through the doorway to the bathroom. He found her inside on her knees in the middle of the tiled floor.

He dropped down beside her. “Are you hurt?”

She jumped when he touched her, surprised that he was there. “I can do this. I’ll be okay.”

“Just let me help.”

“I can do this,” she repeated, but didn’t move.

Her put his arm around her shoulders. She tried to pull away again, but then she took another breath, this one longer and slower, and she let him leave his arm where it was.

“What did they do to you?”

She said nothing for several seconds, then finally turned and looked up at him. “I don’t remember.”

“Well…that’s probably…good, right?” he said, realizing he shouldn’t have asked in the first place. “Maybe it’s best that way.”

“No,” she said quickly. “You don’t understand. Idon’tremember.Anything.”

“What do you mean, anything? From when you were here?”

Again, her head shook. “From before. I remember waking up here. I remember being strapped to the bed. I remember the needles and the pills and the tests. I remember all that. But anything that came before in my life? I don’t remember.” She looked around the room. “This place took my past from me.”

Good God,Ash thought. “You don’t…know anything about your past?”

“Iknowabout it. My name used to be Lauren Scott. Matt and Rachel showed me family pictures, articles in the local paper where I apparently grew up, my college diploma. I even sat in a car down the street from my…my parents’ house, and watched them walk along the sidewalk. If I hadn’t been shown a photo of them, I would have never recognized them. They were just two people I didn’t know. I had no feelings for them whatsoever.” Her eyes narrowed. “These people took that from me. They tookmefrom me. That’s who I can’t get back.”

Ash wasn’t sure what to say. Was it better to remember that his wife was dead, and that he had two children who were in need of his help, or to be conscious of the fact you could remember nothing at all?

She wiped a hand across her cheeks. “I’m sorry. This isn’t helping. We’re here to find your kids, not watch me break down.”

“Don’t worry about it. You have every right to be upset.”

She tried to smile, but failed, then said, “Help me up.”

Once they were back on their feet, Ash asked, “Was there a note?”

“I…I haven’t checked yet.” She stepped toward the shower. “It’s over here.”

“I can get it.”

“No. I’m okay now.”

Whether she was or not, she was at least more in control of herself as she stepped into the shower stall. Water for the shower was controlled by a handle that could be moved left or right. Behind the handle was a