He snorted. 'They're like children who are glad that their parents have stopped arguing, and afraid they'll start up again any time now. I'm looking, but I can't see…. anything.'
'Why so pessimistic? You're sounding like….' He hesitated. Like Parlonn, who had looked out at the world and seen only darkness and despair. No matter how many times light was shown to him, he preferred to believe in the darkness. At the end, he had forgotten why he had ever been fighting.
'We bombed your world. We did. People just like me. We threw rocks from the sky, we poisoned your water and your ground, we brought so much death…. People like me. People who went back to Proxima after the battle, and went to wives and husbands, went to their family. 'And what did you do at work, today, darling?' 'I killed millions of people and destroyed an ancient civilisation. How about you?'' He laughed ironically, but it ended on a false note.
'Evil is within us all.'
'I know that! But looking at it isn't easy. We were the good guys. All along we'd been the good guys.' He shook his head. 'Not any more. I'm wondering if we ever were.' He paused, looking down. 'I don't even know why I'm telling you this. You're…. one of them. Ever since Mars, there's been hardly anyone I could talk to about stuff like this. Susan's…. gone. The Captain…. has his own problems, and…. well…. there might be someone, but she's a long way away. I'd hoped to see her at Babylon Four, but she…. she wasn't there.'
'Do you love her?'
'I…. I don't know. I think so, but then sometimes I think…. I don't know.'
'Life is hard. Loving is even harder. There is evil in your soul, just as there is in mine, but that does not matter. You would never do what your people did at Minbar…. never. And you know you would not.'
'Yeah…. yeah. I guess so, but….'
'There is one thing you must always remember, one thing the best of us have forgotten at times…. Why are you fighting?'
'Because…. it's…. in a good cause?'
Valen smiled. 'Are you asking me, or telling me?'
'Because it's right.'
'There you are. Remember that always, and never forget. The people who attacked Minbar…. they forgot.'
He nodded. 'I guess so.' He left then, not saying another word.
Valen looked out over the cityscape. The last hints of sunlight had gone. The night was here. He sighed softly.
'So…. what is this ritual for, then?'
Delenn smiled and nodded, gesturing towards a small pattern drawn on the floor of her quarters. John looked at it, and cocked his head slightly. 'It's…. a circle,' he said. 'Yup. Definitely a circle.'
'Not just a circle,' she corrected, with mock firmness.
'Um…. two circles joined together?'
'It represents the cycle of our lives. We are born, we live, each of us in our own circles of life…. At this point here,' she pointed to a part of the pattern, 'lives intersect and join, becoming one. Then, eventually…. the lives end, and we pass beyond.' John looked down. Quickly, painfully, Delenn continued. 'But the circle does not end.' Her voice was thick. 'It continues. We are born again, renewed. We live again. Death…. is not the end.'
John nodded. 'I…. see. Our…. souls will go on?'
'Yes. There are…. places where no shadows fall, where we can be united in death as we were in life, until our souls find new forms in new bodies.'
'Ah…. yes. Do…. all your people believe this?'
'Most do. Not the warriors as such. They have…. different theories and beliefs, but my…. former…. caste, and the workers. Yes.'
'So, what do we do in this ritual then?'
'It is quite simple. It is usually performed when…. the couple become so close as to be almost one. It is one of the final rituals before…. our spirits are joined, and become one.'
'Right. Got you. I think.'
'John.' He looked at her. 'I chose this ritual for what it symbolises as well as for what it is. I love you, and no matter what happens, we will be together…. afterwards.'
He reached for her hand. 'I believe you,' he whispered.
Blinking away a single tear, she led him to the pattern drawn on the floor. There were three candles on the edge of the pattern — one at the top of one circle, another at the top of the other and the third in the area where they overlapped.
Delenn sat down in the centre of one circle, crossing her legs and resting there. John, following her lead, did the same in his circle. Slowly, she reached out her right arm, holding her hand above the centre candle, palm facing him.
'Do the same,' she said. 'Touch my hand.'
Tentatively, John did so. Her palm was warm and soft against his.
'Now close your eyes,' she whispered. Her eyes were already closed.
There was a silence, as thick and heavy as the grave. It touched him, battering at him like a storm front at a marble wall. Not even the sound of her breathing.
'What now?' he said at last, speaking so quietly he wasn't even sure he'd spoken at all.
'You'll know,' she said, her words even quieter than his. 'We'll both know.'
And he did.
'The war destroyed far more than just our homeworld and our children. It destroyed our dreams as well. It destroyed our hopes and ambitions. We'd all thought we were the dominant force in the galaxy. We were the young bravos, wandering through the skies, righting wrongs, making allies, thinking we were creating a better universe just as we'd deluded ourselves we'd created a better Earth.
'Those dreams weren't just limited to the soldiers, you know. Yes, the Dilgar War had gone well, but all of us dreamed of superiority. Do you remember much about the years of expansion? No? A shame. It was an exciting time, a powerful time. Do you know the definition of a golden age? It is a time when so many things are wonderful and new and vibrant that they're all taken for granted. Well, maybe I'm just an old man, but that time was a golden age.
'You see, all we businessmen…. we all had dreams too. Admittedly ours were more along the lines of becoming fabulously rich rather than saving the galaxy, but there you go. I founded Edgars Industries just before the Dilgar War and soon saw an opportunity to expand it. Before the…. Minbari War we were not as powerful as I would have liked, but we did know what we were doing. We were arrogant and expanding and determined that we'd soon be rich.
'Just like the rest of humanity.
'And then came the war. We'll skip the historical details if you like. I'm sure you know them all. Edgars Industries was based on Mars and we had considerable off Solar System holdings, so we weren't as badly affected as some. IPX of course had even more extensive alien holdings than we did, so they fared even better.
'I remember escaping from Mars that night, watching as the skies above me were lit, not with red light, but with a multitude of falling stars. I could imagine the screams up there. I could only watch as the destiny of the human race was decided, right above my head.
'Ah, well…. Back to the point somewhat. I relocated to my Orion holdings after escaping from Mars. Things were…. tight then, and the Government needed as much revenue as it could get. Foreign trade was considered one of our top priorities. IPX, which by its nature had the largest alien holdings, began snapping up as many other companies as it could. AreTech was one of the biggest, but there were quite a few others. I managed to keep Edgars Industries solvent, thanks to some useful Government contracts for chemical research…. biological weapons and so forth.
'And then…. one night, I was woken from a fitful sleep by a very strange visitor. He made me a simple offer. I would have power, wealth, all the resources I needed, and a part to play in human destiny.
'All it would cost me would be owing this man a little favour.
