said. “I love Blooming Tania, my girl from the Baltimore shtetl.”
He pronounced it “shteedle.”
There would be enough money for everyone to be happy, he said.
“You’ll earn fifty dollars an hour for the shoots, which will usually take two or three hours.” He looked up from the camera he held on his lap. “Imagine-a hundred dollars, two hundred, for just an afternoon’s work! Have you ever had that much of your own?”
She said no.
“But that’s just the beginning. Just the beginning, Tania! Once I set you up in your own site, you’ll get ten percent of each membership fee. Right now, memberships go for twenty-five dollars a month, but it’s heading up up up.” His face lit up. “Think of it! Starlight Stacy has almost twelve hundred members-I write her a check for almost three thousand dollars every month from memberships alone. And, Tania, I think-I
He put the camera down on the bed, stood, came over, and clasped her hands in his. “And even that’s just the start. Then there’s CD collections, DVDs, webcams-so many opportunities,” he said. “You’ll have more money than you ever dreamed of, enough to go out to restaurants, to buy the clothes you want-and wear them without anyone telling you otherwise.” His grin was full of eager complicity. “I’ll even buy you your very own computer.”
He released her. “Now, sweetie, let’s get to work.”
So here it was at last.
“When you take my pictures,” she asked, “will anyone else ever be… there? In the room?”
He shook his head. “No. Never. I promise. Just you and me-” He bent over and unzipped the larger of the two bags and pulled out a camera. “And our little witness.” He pushed a button and the camera made a whining, dissatisfied sound.
A glance at her body. “I hope your uncle gave me your measurements right.” A smile. “Of course, we won’t mind if the outfits I brought are a little tight, will we?”
“Can I…” She hesitated. “Can we start with what I’m wearing?”
Eyes narrowed, tapping his chin with a forefinger, he studied her, then aimed the finger at her sweatshirt. “Take that off,” he said.
She removed her new necklace, wrapped it around her right hand, and took off the sweatshirt, static electricity snapping around her ears. Handed the sweatshirt to Gary and put the necklace back on over her gray turtleneck.
Scanning her body, Gary pushed his tongue into the side of his mouth, making a little mound in his left cheek. “Hmmm,” he said.
He stepped close to her. “This will do,” he decided, “with an adjustment or two.”
Reaching out, he pulled the turtleneck tighter, tucking the extra fabric into the waistband of her jeans. She felt the pressure of the material through her bra against her breasts. “Better,” he said.
Head tilted to one side, he walked around behind her. She felt his hand on her hip, on her waist, on her bottom. She stepped away from him, saying, “Stop that.”
He seemed not to have heard her. “Next time, wear jeans a size smaller, ’kay?” he said. The camera whined again. “I think we’ll start next to that chair over there.”
On your tiptoes. Now lean forward a little. Good. Smile. No, try again, you look like you’re eating soap. That’s better. Jane has crooked teeth-that’s why she keeps her mouth closed. Yes, she’s planning to get them fixed. But your smile is perfect, we don’t have to hide it. There! Excellent!
Now, come here. Yes, on the bed. Lie back-good! This leg up. No, like this. Your left foot here. Hmmm. Let’s try it with your shoes off. Who wears shoes to bed, silly? Don’t worry, only the shoes. Well, the socks too. Most people don’t find socks to be a turn-on, even cute little white ones like yours. See, I’ll put your shoes and socks right here near the door, where you can find them when we’re done.
Oh, Tania, you have the most gorgeous feet! Our members will just love you. Some of them get very excited by feet, you know. Well, yes, I agree, it’s weird. I mean-feet? But that’s people, you know. You can’t ever tell what will raise their temperatures. Though I have to say, when I look at you, your feet aren’t the first things my eyes gravitate toward. Tania, you’re blushing! Great… a bit of shyness, embarrassment, are perfect for your first shoot. Your cheeks are like little apples!
Okay, now, sit up. What? Don’t worry, I’m not taking it off, just rolling it up a little. Just to here, so they can see your bellybutton and the bottom of your rib cage. Just a smidge higher. Now let’s loosen the belt, just a couple of notches, and open this. I promise, not too much, just enough for a glimpse. I always think the glimpse is sexier than the full view, don’t you?
I remember watching a comedy show on TV years ago, and there was this scene set in a nudist colony. Everyone was naked, of course-though they made sure we didn’t see anything-but no one was aroused because there was, like, too much skin everywhere, you know? All the men were really bored until this dressed woman came to visit, and then, boy did they go wild, trying to figure out what she looked like under her clothes! Too funny.
You see, that’s why my sites make so much money, even though they’re non-nude. It’s all the power of imagination, seeing how far we’ll go, always expecting, hoping, dreaming they’ll catch a glimpse of something we didn’t mean to show. That’s why they’ll love you, Tania, with your shyness and reserve and hints of something more. Oh, great. Perfect.
Now lean back. Wait, let me adjust the pillow. Good. Now arch your back. More. Excellent! You’re so toned… do they have a gym for young Jewesses down Park Heights way? Okay, roll this way a little and look over your shoulder at us. Play with your necklace. Great. Lips apart, teeth just barely showing. Eyes open wider-we want that half-innocent, half-whore look. What, they didn’t teach you that at the yeshiva? Doesn’t matter, it comes natural to you. Good. Good. Good!
As Tania got off the bed, Gary stepped close and kissed her on the mouth. A quick kiss, done almost before she could react, leaving behind the impression of his soft lips and the smell of his sweat and the salamander sensation of his tongue.
“Don’t do that!” she said, but he had already turned away and was back at work. Rummaging through the larger of his bags, he pulled out something white and lacy.
He came back toward her. “This next,” he said, holding out the nightgown. “Give everyone a look at those lovely long legs of yours.”
“I don’t know,” she said. Her voice was hoarse.
Something set in his face, a tightening of skin around his eyes. But when he spoke he sounded just the same. “Oh, sweetie,” he said, “don’t start getting all Red State on me now. It’s just a nightgown. I’m not making you wear a thong or a see-through or anything like that, yet. I know you’re new, which is why I didn’t bring anything too… too
His words washing over her.
The opportunity provided by liminal moments is that they give you the chance to shed the skin of your past life, and be reborn,” the rabbi had said. “The danger is that you may leave your old existence behind, but be unable to find your way into a new one. Then you can be lost forever.
Gary dropped the nightgown on the bed, reached down, and yanked her turtleneck out of the waistband of her pants. She felt the goosebumps rise on her newly exposed skin.
“No!” she said. Then, more quietly, “I’ll change in the bathroom.”
“Okay.” He smiled, rubbed the back of his hand against her belly. “Take your bra off, but leave your panties on,” he instructed her. “We’ll give them something to dream about!”
Her face looked simultaneously chilled and feverish in the blue fluorescent light of the bathroom, her hair tangled under the headband, a vein pulsing in her forehead. Did the members find such discomfort sexy? She thought they did. That’s why they liked Jane, the girl who never smiled, who looked like she was posing against her will.
Tania’s eyes traced the scattering of birthmarks on her chest above her bra, the small scar on her belly, the extra flesh above her hips. Already her body didn’t seem to belong to her. Already she was studying it as if she were one of
She hung the lacy white nightgown on a hook and took a closer look at it. At most, it would come down only to
