Dirty Blonde

happened?”

Cate had to think. “Yesterday was the longest day of my life.”

“I’m referring to the sentencing, for conspiracy to distribute. D’Alma.”

“Oh right.” Cate remembered. How had he heard about that? Meriden? “I had to end the proceeding.”

“Tell me what happened.”

“I was unprepared, frankly. My house and chambers had just been broken into, and I was distracted.”

“Understandable. Russo is targeting you, it seems.”

“Yes, definitely. He blames me for the ruling and for Marz’s suicide.”

“Terrible, just terrible.” Sherman tsk-tsked. “The risks we take, as judges. The responsibility we carry.”

“I hired a bodyguard. He’s sitting in your reception area with the FBI agent, as we speak. Between them and the marshals, I feel safe.” Cate thought again of Nesbitt, in the courtroom.

“Good.” Sherman sipped tea from a white porcelain mug with the tea bag hanging out. The little square of white paper fluttered on its string as the mug moved back to the desk. “Why did you end the proceeding, then?”

“You mean D’Alma? I wanted to hold it when I was fully prepared. It’s scheduled for this coming week, I believe.” Cate made a mental note to check with Val.

“But you’re on trial this coming week, U.S. v. Blendheim. How will you do both?”

“I’ll squeeze it in somewhere,” Cate answered, surprised. Sherman, as chief judge, had access to their dockets and schedules, but she hadn’t realized he followed them that closely.

“There was another matter, I understand, that you canceled.”

“There was?” Cate had to think a minute. She hadn’t expected to be talking about this, after what had happened in the courtroom today. Where was this coming from?

“A pretrial motion. Schrader v. Ickles Industries.”

“Oh, yes, right.” Cate thought back, nervously. That was what she’d canceled to go see Micah. “I had to run out. I was following up on something about Russo.”

“Did you reschedule that?”

“The motion hearing? I’m not sure, but I will.” Cate’s stomach tensed, its vacation over. “Why do you ask, Chief?”

“I got a call this morning from the parties. They needed a ruling on a question about an out-of-town deposition.”

Cate flushed. “Oh, sorry. I guess I didn’t call them back yet.”

“It was a simple discovery matter, so I ruled during a break in my trial. Mo will send Val a copy of the order.”

“Thank you.”

“I also got a number of calls this morning, from your colleagues. Bonner, Andrew, Gloria, Bill.” Sherman paused. “I couldn’t field all of them because I was on the bench. I forget who else called.”

“And Jonathan, he must have called.”

“Yes, he did, of course. Almost all of them weighed in about this newspaper coverage today, and about your…proclivities.” Sherman smacked his lips, as if the word had an aftertaste. “Your colleagues tell me that you said the reports are true, about these things.”

“Yes, they are.” Cate felt her stomach and face on fire, which might be a biological first.

“I see. They were unanimous in their judgment, and I must say, as a personal matter, I’m very disappointed in you. I had such hopes for you.” Sherman frowned behind his glasses. “I knew you were young but I was certain you’d mature into the position. I liked your…style, I guess I should say. True, you’re different, but refreshingly so. I saw you as the future of this court, or used to.”

Cate felt like dying.

“We think, as a court, that it’s conduct unbecoming. It hurts me to tell you this.” Sherman slid off his glasses and examined his reading glasses as if he’d never seen them before. “I normally wouldn’t consider your personal life a matter for public discussion, but you hold public office, Cate. You’re a public official. The duties you perform serve the public, and the cause of civil and criminal justice.”

“I know, Chief, and I’m sorry. It will never ever happen again.”

“I’m sure of that. I know you, at least I felt as if I did.”

“You do,” Cate rushed to say.

“All of us are married, as you know. We have families. Except for the one messy divorce every year, which is our annual allotment-” at this, Sherman smiled slightly-“we lead exemplary lives, on and off the bench. We have to. The first canon of judicial ethics is that a judge must uphold the integrity of the bench. The comments require us to ‘personally observe high standards of conduct.’”

“I know, Your Honor.”

“Canon Two instructs us to avoid impropriety and the appearance of impropriety in all activities, not merely those on the bench.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I was wrong.” Cate felt like it was the quietest, longest and most excruciating dressing-down she’d ever had. “I didn’t think.”

“The prospect of this TV series about judges, of course, is completely unacceptable.”

“I hate the idea, too.”

“They’re saying it’s fictional, but no one will believe that. I don’t want anyone making a TV show about my court.” Sherman stiffened. “It’s anathema to me. I assume you will file suit, with your resources. I had heard that you’ve been in touch with Matt Sorian. He’s exactly whom I’d hire, Cate. A lawyer with teeth.”

Meriden. “I did call Matt, but he advises me that I wouldn’t win, and I agree. I’ve been thinking that suing would do more harm than good. I’ve decided not to sue.”

“How so? Why?” Sherman’s lips parted in surprise. “You can’t be seen as acquiescing. This is a question of appearances. You must sue.”

“No, I won’t. I think it would bring more attention to the show.” Cate had decided last night, after talking to Gina. She wouldn’t compound the damage she’d already done. “It’s protesting too much, giving it publicity. Making it bigger than it is.”

“You couldn’t make it bigger than it is.” Sherman frowned deeply, and his tone took on a new urgency. “Attorneys@Law is a hugely popular show. Everyone watches it, even me. Ellen’s book group switched their night to Monday, because of it.”

“I’m going to weather it, Chief.”

Sherman set his reading glasses down quietly. “What are you saying? The relevant question is, can our court weather it? Are you saying you’ll stand by and do nothing to stop this? To stop them from hurting our court?”

“I have no choice, Chief.”

Sherman eyed her for a moment, over his folded reading glasses. “Then I’ll have no choice. You’ll be leaving me no choice. If you don’t sue, I’ll have to ask you to resign.”

Cate almost fell off the chair. “Resign? From being a judge?”

“Yes. Of course. I’ll have to ask for your resignation if you won’t sue. At least that.” Sherman shook his head, as if the explanation were simple. “I have to protect our court. Our judges, our staff. We all work too hard to get dragged through the mud on television. Or in the press. You have to sue, Cate. Then you’d at least be doing something to remedy this terrible situation you created. Then at least I could defend you.”

“Chief, this will die down, it has to, and-”

“Not if they make a TV show about it. Not the way the press massages TV, and vice versa.” Sherman scoffed. “It’s a twenty-four-hour news cycle, as they say, and I cannot have the entire Eastern District on TV, as news or entertainment. You tell me which is which, nowadays. Cate, won’t you sue? Please, rethink your position.” Sherman hunched over, in appeal. “Give it a day. Confer with Matt. You’re not thinking clearly. You’ll be an excellent judge someday, Cate. Don’t throw it away. Don’t make me ask you to step down.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do, and I will. If you don’t sue.” Sherman edged away in his chair, watching her as if from a distance,