There was a glimmer of hope in what she was saying, and I pounced on it with all fours.
'… Which brings us to the other reason we should call off the wedding,' I said grandly.
The Queen's smile disappeared.
'What's that?' she said sharply.
For my reply, I let drop my disguise spell.
'Because I'm not Royalty. I'm people.'
'Oh, that,' the Queen shrugged. 'No problem. I knew that all along.'
'You did?' I gulped.
'Sure. You were embarrassed … twice. Once when I arrived at the palace, and again just now when I opened the door in my all-together. Royalty doesn't embarrass. It's in the blood. I knew all long you weren't Rodrick. It's my guess you're the Great Skeeve, Court Magician. Right? The one who can shape change?'
'Well, it's a disguise spell, not shape changing, but except for that, you're right.'
Between Badaxe and Queen Hemlock, I was starting to wonder if anyone was really fooled by my disguise spells.
The Queen uncoiled from her seat and began pacing back and forth as she spoke, oblivious to her nakedness which peeked out of her wrap at each turn.
'The fact that you aren't the king doesn't change my situation, if anything it improves it. As long as you can keep your disguise up enough to fool the rabble, I'll be marrying two power blocks instead of one.'
'Two power blocks,' I echoed hollowly.
'Yes. As the 'king' of Possiltum, you control the first block I was after: land and people. Impasse by itself isn't large enough to wage an aggressive war, but uniting the respective powers of the two kingdoms, we're unstoppable. With your armies backed by my capital, I can sweep as far as I want, which is pretty far, let me tell you. There's nothing like growing up in a valley where the only view is the other side of the valley to whet one's appetite for new and unusual places.'
'Most people content themselves with touring,' I suggested. 'You don't have to conquer a country to see it.'
'Cute,' Queen Hemlock sneered. 'Naive, but cute. Let's just say I'm not most people and let it ride, okay? Now then, for the second power base, there's you and your magic. That's a bonus I hadn't expected, but I'm sure that, given a day or two, I can expand my plans to take advantage of it.'
At one time, I thought I had been scared by Massha. In hindsight, Massha caused me only faint discomfort. Talking with Queen Hemlock, I learned what fear was all about! She wasn't just a murderess, as Badaxe suspected. She was utter mayhem waiting to be loosed on the world. The only thing between her and the resources necessary to act out her dreams was me. Me, and maybe…
'What about King Rodrick?' I blurted out. 'If he shows up, the original wedding plans go into effect.'
'You mean he's still alive?' she exclaimed, arching a thin eyebrow at me. 'I've overestimated you, Skeeve. Alive he could be a problem. No matter. I'll alert my escort to kill him on sight if he appears before the wedding. After we're married, it would be a simple matter to declare him an imposter and have him officially executed.'
Terrific. Thanks to my big mouth, Massha would be walking into a trap if she tried to return the King to the castle. If Queen Hemlock's men saw him, then …
'Wait a minute!' I exclaimed. 'If I'm walking around disguised as the King, what's to keep your men from offing me by mistake?''
'Hmm. Good thing you thought about that. Okay! Here's what we'll do.'
She dove into her wardrobe and emerged with a length of purple ribbon.
'Wear this in full view whenever you're outside your chambers,' she instructed, thrusting it into my hands. 'It'll let my men know that you're the man I want to marry instead of their target.'
I stood with the ribbon in my hand.
'Aren't you making a rather large assumption, your Majesty?'
'What's that?' she frowned.
'That I may not want to marry you?'
'Of course you do,' she smiled. 'You've already got the throne of Possiltum. If you marry me, you not only have access to my treasury, it also rids you of your other problem.'
'My other problem?'
'The Mob, silly. Remember? I rode in with their representative. With my money, you can buy them off. They'll forget anything if the price is high enough. Now, isn't being my husband better than running from their vengeance and mine for the rest of your life?'
I had my answer to that, but in a flash of wisdom kept it to myself. Instead, I said my goodbyes and left.
'From your expression, I take it that your interview with the Queen was less than a roaring success,' Badaxe said dryly.
'Spare me the 'I told you so's,' General,' I snarled. 'We've got work to do.'
Shooting a quick glance up and down the corridor, I cut my purple ribbon in half on the edge of his axe.
'Keep a lookout for Massha and the King,' I instructed. 'If you see them, be sure Rodrick wears this. It'll make his trip through the palace a lot easier.'
'But where are you going?'
I gave him a tight smile.
'To see the Mob representatives. Queen Hemlock has graciously told me how to deal with them!'
Chapter Ten
'Superior firepower is an invaluable tool when entering into negotiations.'
THE Mob representatives had been housed in one of the less frequented corners of the palace. In theory, this kept them far from the hub of activity while Badaxe and I figured out what to do with them. In fact, it meant that now that I was ready to face them, I had an awfully long walk to reach my destination.
By the time I reached the proper door, I was so winded I wasn't sure I'd have enough breath to announce my presence. Still, on my walk I had worked up a bit of a mad against the Mob. I mean, who did they think they were, popping up and disrupting my life this way? Besides, I was too unnerved by Queen Hemlock to try anything against her, which left the Mob as the only target for my frustration.
With that in mind, I drew a deep breath and knocked on the door.
I needn't have worried about announcing myself. Between the second and third knocks, the door opened a crack. My third knock hit the door before I could stop it, but the door remained unmoved by the impact.
'Hey, Shai-ster! It's the King!'
'Well, let him in, you idiot!' The door opened wide, revealing one of Shai-ster's massive bodyguards, then a little wider to allow me entry space past him.
'Come in, come in. your Majesty,' the Mob's spokesman said, hurrying forward to greet me. 'Have a drink . .. Dummy! Get the King something to drink!'
This last was addressed to the second hulking muscleman who heaved himself off the bed he had been sprawled upon. With self-conscious dignity he picked up the end of the bed one-handed, set it down again, then picked up the mattress and extracted a small, flat bottle from under it.
I wondered briefly if this was what Big Julie meant when he referred to the Mob tradition of 'going to the mattresses.' Somehow the phrase had always brought another image to mind … something involving women. Accepting the flask from his bodyguard, Shai-ster opened the top and offered it to me, smiling all the while.
