Myth Alliances

'I'm fine,' I informed her. 'I'm better than I have been for ages. I'm not crazy. I know how we can do this,' I think. 'We can't beat them if we go at them head to head, but we're not going to; we're going to hit them where they live—literally.'

Tananda watched me carefully. 'It sounds like you want to commit organized suicide. Mind letting us in on your plan?'

'It's not organized suicide, or suicide of any kind.' I looked her squarely in the eyes. 'A good general never wants to go into battle. I learned that from Big Julie. But when you have to, you go in to win, one way or another. Where you can't win openly and honestly, you win any way you can, because the enemy is going to do the same thing. Right? And you know me. I don't want any of us to get hurt, not even the Pervects, if I can help it. To do that I need your help. All of you.'

Tananda's moss-green eyebrows climbed her forehead. 'I'm not sure I like the way this is going. Excuse me for being skeptical, but I signed on to watch your back, and I will. I'll do anything you need me to, but I'm not even a little sure what you want to do is possible.'

'Trust me,' I pleaded. 'You might like what I'm going to suggest. At least I'm hoping you might. At least, I'm hoping you won't throw me through a wall for suggesting the first step I want you to take. I need you to go back to Scamaroni and look up your friend Scootie.'

A half-grin appeared on her face, and her shoulders shifted unconsciously as she considered it, not unfavorably, I thought. 'And ask him what?'

I whispered in her ear. She let out a long giggle, took my face between her palms and gave me a big kiss right on the lips.

'See you later, handsome,' she waved. There was a loud bamf as she vanished into thin air.

'What can I do?' Bunny asked eagerly.

'Nothing right away, but I'll need you and Bytina to help with negotiations with the Ten.'

'Why Bytina?' Bunny asked, with wide eyes.

'Access,' I grinned. 'With what I have in mind we may not be able to speak with them directly. Bytina may be the only way we can communicate with them. I'm going to trap them inside their own fire spell.'

'How?'

I waggled my eyebrows. 'Tanda's gone to get the means. I hope.'

'How may I help, Master Skeeve?' Zol inquired.

'Insights,' I replied, though I didn't tell him how I planned to use the opposite of whatever he said. 'Tell me how the Ten are likely to respond when we throw our one-two-three punches at them.'

'Ah!' Zol exclaimed. 'A three-pronged attack. Very clever. I see that Mistress Tananda is one step. The fire spell is another step. But what is the third?'

'For that I'll need about thirty packets of Kobold snacks,' I grinned.

Zol's big dark eyes crinkled with merriment. He glanced at Gleep, who looked innocently from one of us to the other.

'This is why you are such a successful magician,' Zol said me, as he picked up his notebook for a quick trip back to Kobol. 'Innovation. Would you care to join me, Miss Bunny?'

'I'd love to,' my assistant replied. The two of them vanished. One more item off my mental checklist.

'Can I help?' Kassery inquired shyly.

'I need to meet with as many Wuhses as possible,' I said. 'Tonight or tomorrow, in Montgomery's inn.'

'A secret meeting? Can I tell them what it's about?'

'It's simple,' I responded. 'Everyone has a stake in getting the Pervect Ten to leave. It's time that some of you Wuhses step up and help out. I promise that no one will get hurt. They might get yelled at, but they face that any day.'

Kassery nodded. 'I will begin to organize it. They will be there.' She rose from her crouch on the stone steps.

'Oh,' I added, 'and can you look after Gleep for me for a little while? I have to run back to Deva to pick up a few things.'

Gleep looked disappointed, but Kassery regarded my dragon warmly. 'It would be my pleasure,' she responded, hooking her hand through his collar. My pet followed her with reproachful looks over his shoulder, but I knew better than to take a dragon shopping with me at the joke shop in the Bazaar.

We reunited at Montgomery's that evening. Kassery, Gleep and I waited at the table in the corner that had come to be our headquarters. As Bunny and Zol appeared, I was careful to throw a disguise spell over them. After the debacle on Ronko, I was certain that the Pervect Ten were very angry with me. I figured the safest possible place to be was right underneath their noses, but I saw no reason to advertise the fact, either.

Bunny's eyes were bright with excitement. 'Oh, Skeeve, I had such a good time! Kobolds certainly know how to throw a party. They updated Bytina's communications program, and I think I got messages from everyone in the dimension!'

'Mission accomplished,' Zol informed me, patting his satchel. 'Is there any other way in which I might aid you?'

'There is one thing,' I began.

Just then, Tananda reappeared. Her clothing was a little disheveled, but she had a smile on her face, and she was humming happily. I reached out to extend my disguise spell to her, but I was unable to cover up her olive-skinned beauty with the semblance of a sheep-woman. I smiled smugly. Mission accomplished.

'If you wouldn't mind,' I queried Zol, 'I would appreciate your help with a research project.'

Tananda ambled over to me and placed a small object on the table. I noticed that as we leaned in to look at it, our faces changed from Wuhs to our respective races.

'But what is it?' Bunny asked.

'It's a stone,' I informed her. 'At least, I think it's a stone.'

'That I can see,' my assistant replied, with some asperity. 'I may be able to play the dumb moll but you know I'm not.'

'Sorry,' the Trollop apologized, grinning. 'Skeeve didn't know what he was going to get. It's a piece of stone from the Volute courthouse wall.'

'This will do it?' I asked, nervously.

'Mmm-hmm,' she hummed, running a sensuous finger along the decolletage of her tightly laced tunic as if remembering a pleasant sensation. 'He swears it. Precisely what he said is 'It makes more of itself.' That was the best he could explain it, and believe me, I asked him several times. He was not inclined to mislead me at the moment. He's just not a magician.' She raised her eyebrows meaningfully, and I did not want to ask her under which circumstances Scootie was sworn to honesty. I could guess. 'What is it?' Bunny insisted.

'It contains a portion of the enchantment that created the anti-magik field inside the jail on Scamaroni,' I explained.

'But what's the use in that?'

'What's the biggest advantage the Pervect Ten have over us?' I asked her.

'That they can mop up the floor with us?'

'That's only if they can reach us,' I pointed out.

'But so can any Pervect,' Bunny asserted reasonably. 'Between their magik and their strength, they can pound any Klahd or any Trollop into jelly.'

'No,' I corrected her, 'what makes the Ten unbeatable is their ability to combine their magikal talent into ten times ten, to command forces that make my talent look like a drop of water in an ocean. If I can figure out how to duplicate this spell, we can knock out their power.'

'Which still leaves them able to mop up the floor with us,' Tananda pointed out. 'They don't need their magik to tear us to pieces.'

'Not if they can't reach us,' I replied. 'You see, if they can't use their talent, they can't dimension hop.'

'Out of what?'

'Remember their fire protection spell? The one we took for a walk the first day we came to Wuh?'

Tananda made a noise. 'Will I ever forget it? I like being around hot stuff, but that goes outside the