like the Chinese company that made a line of toy boats that transformed into killer robots. But together Shawn and Gus had steered investments into alternative-energy firms, futuristic transportation designers, and others that looked like they could be as profitable as they were boring. Gus suspected that Shawn was doing a lot more work than he’d ever admit.
If only those profits would start rolling in soon. Their deal with Dallas granted them ten percent of all the profits their investments netted, but not a penny of cash up front. After a long and strenuous negotiation, Gus had persuaded the billionaire to guarantee the lease on their offices for the next five years, but that was the only concession he’d been able to add to Steele’s initial offer.
“Don’t even think that word,” Shawn said. “Between this and the media bonanza from the Veronica Mason trial, the money’s going to start pouring in faster than we can count it.”
“I don’t need to count it. I need to spend it,” Gus said. “Every day that car sits in the impound lot they add another two hundred dollars to my bill.”
“In a few days that will seem like nothing,” Shawn said. “We’re expecting a big payday from Veronica Mason, remember?”
“Of course I remember,” Gus said. “But remembering her isn’t doing us a whole lot of good-she needs to remember us.”
Despite the fact that they’d saved her from a lifetime in prison, it did seem that Veronica Mason had forgotten all about Shawn and Gus. They hadn’t heard a word from her since the day of her acquittal. No matter how many messages they left at her various houses, she never got back to them.
“I have to admit, that one really puzzles me,” Shawn said. “After the trial, she seemed so grateful. I thought it was going to be the beginning of something special.”
“You mean you thought she was going to show you all her birthmarks.”
“That, too,” Shawn said. “But more important, after all that time investigating every tiny corner of her life, I really began to feel that we were close. Connected.”
“But that was a completely one-way relationship, Shawn. You were spending all your time thinking and learning about her-that didn’t mean she was thinking about you. You fooled yourself into thinking it was mutual.”
“I can’t believe that,” Shawn said. “What existed between us was real. It’s just not possible for one person to feel so connected to another human being and not have that feeling reflected in some way.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Shawn was about to answer when he noticed the look on Gus’ face. “This is a trick, isn’t it?”
“Is it?”
“Don’t you dare go Yoda on me,” Shawn said. “I’m not going to go into the swamps and battle a hideous creature only to discover it’s my own dark side. I see what you’re up to.”
“And what is that?”
Shawn thought. “I have no idea.”
“Maybe you should think a little harder about the people you take advantage of.”
“Gus, I do not take advantage of you. I treasure your friendship and your partnership. You know it’s true. Everything I do I do it for you.”
“I’m not talking about me,” Gus said. “And I’ve told you never to quote Bryan Adams at me. I’m talking about Tara.”
“Where is she, anyway?” Shawn said. “We sent her out for lunch ages ago.”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” Gus said.
“You think that I’m taking advantage of her?”
Gus did. And he’d been saying so for days. After she had driven them back from Eagle’s View, Shawn once again told her that he was freeing her from all psychic control. But instead of leaving, she just kept idling in front of their office. When the owner of the tanning parlor next door complained about the exhaust fumes, Shawn invited Tara into their office and tried again to send her away. Again, she seemed incapable of understanding. Short of calling the police and having her hauled away, there seemed to be no way to get rid of her. So Shawn started assigning her errands that would keep her out of the office. At first, it was only to give Gus and him privacy to talk about their cases and their investment strategy. But as the days went on, Shawn started to discover how convenient it was to have someone whose only desire in life was to do all the things he didn’t want to do.
“Last week she did your laundry, cleaned your office, and brought you four meals every day.”
“The woman has a void where her life goals are supposed to be. She’s decided to fill that gaping black hole by anticipating and fulfilling my every need. It’s not that I really want her to do all these things for me. In fact, I find it extremely draining. But it’s what she needs, so I’m willing to sacrifice my own desires for her health and well-being. It’s like Major Nelson and Jeannie, except Jeannie’s outfits weren’t quite as revealing.” Shawn looked down at his watch. “How long does it take to get a medium-rare cheeseburger?”
“Since you sent her to Oxnard to get it-”
“There you go again. I didn’t send her. She instinctively knew that I preferred the Oxnard BurgerZone to any of the closer branches.”
“And the fact that you mentioned this to me in front of her didn’t have anything to do with her intuition?”
Shawn sighed heavily. “She thinks she’s taking psychic orders from me. If she gets them wrong, she’s going to start doubting the very fabric of her existence.”
“Yes,” Gus said. “She might even start to act on her own initiative, instead of waiting to figure out the smallest thing you might want.”
“So you’re saying that if I were to leave these prospectuses and DVDs scattered all over the floor, knowing that as soon as she comes in with our lunch she’ll pick them up, that would be taking advantage of her?”
“Of course it would.”
Shawn stared down at the mess on the floor.
“And that would be wrong?”
“Obviously.”
“So if there’s something I’d like her to do for me and she’d like to do for me, if I let her do it for me, that’s wrong.”
“You’re not going to pick up this mess, are you?” Gus said.
“I’m still working on the morality of the issue.”
“I knew it.” Gus bent down and started to pile all the prospectuses together.
Shawn watched him curiously. “Okay, here’s my question: If I let you pick this stuff up before she has a chance to, am I taking advantage of you? Or am I still taking advantage of her, because you’re only doing this to protect her from my evil ways?”
Gus dumped the files back in the box and jammed the top over it. “All I’m saying is that Tara is a sweet, sad, delusional girl who’s just lost her beloved aunt Enid and is looking for some purpose in her life. And she’s never going to find it as long as she can convince herself that taking the pickles off your cheeseburgers is what she was put on Earth to do.”
“She wouldn’t have to if you could ever get a burger without them,” Shawn said. “Even if you ask specially, it’s like they’re incapable of hearing it.”
Gus was back on his knees, gathering the DVDs into stacks. “This isn’t about pickles.”
“You’d be surprised how much turns out to be, in the end, about pickles.”
“Shawn!”
Shawn picked up one of the stacks of discs and carried it over to a shelf. There were several empty slots where the DVDs had come from. Gus had spent two full days organizing their collection. Shawn glanced back to make sure Gus wasn’t looking, then pushed the discs together and slid the new stack in at the end.
“I guess you’re right,” Shawn said, “even if I don’t understand how giving her what she wants is wrong. But what can I do about it?”
“To start with, you can put those discs back in the right order,” Gus said. “And then you can have a nice, quiet conversation with her in which you graciously thank her for everything she’s done for you and explain it’s time for her to leave.”
“Haven’t I done that about fifty times?”
